I have added this story to my Patreon. You can support me and read the latest chapters there. It also fed and motivate me to write more chapters!
Link: Patreon.com/NineClouds69
--- Chapter 223 ---
"What?!"
"Why? Why all of a sudden?" Gu Xun'er stared at her shadow guardian in disbelief. All this time, she doesn't seem to feel Ling Ying was displeased with Brother Xiao Yan.
Ling Ying stared at Gu Xun'er solemnly, "Your condition hasn't gotten any better, miss."
"When you fought Han Yuan earlier, you overused the Heavenly Flame's power and almost burned yourself to death."
"T-That's impossible..." Gu Xun'er was frightened. "B-Brother Xiao Yan have been treating me for two years now-!"
"Has he really?" Ling Ying said mockingly.
"Miss, don't forget that Xiao Yan is only a 9-Star Dou Disciple right now, and when he started treating you, he didn't even have enough Dou Qi to treat you properly."
"Think about it, miss, do you really think Xiao Yan can treat your condition and magically make you feel better..."
"B-But Brother Xiao Yan really made me feel better!" Gu Xun'er stuttered in panic. "Every time he used his Dou Qi to circulate my body, the pain from Heavenly Flame was gone for a while..."
Ling Ying chuckled, thinking how naive his young miss is. "Of course, he makes you feel better. After all, every time Clan Head or others treated you with our Dou Qi, you felt pain from the cleansing."
"Our cultivation is infinitely higher than Xiao Yan's. However, now you have experienced a more gentle, weaker version of the treatment."
"You longed for it. You become addicted to this slow-consuming poison of comfort."
"You didn't realize due to low Dou Qi that Xiao Yan circulated in your body, the Heavenly Flame didn't become weaker but stronger instead, like a small tinder being fed dry grass..."
"Eventually, it burst into a massive flame like tonight." Ling Ying sighed with bitter guilt.
Gu Xun'er took Ling Ying's words seriously. If there is someone close to her when doing this covert mission, then it would be Ling Ying, who has been loyal to her since the age of three.
"S-So... You're telling me Brother Xiao Yan didn't make my condition better and made it worse instead?" Gu Xun'er mumbled with shakiness in her young voice.
"Unfortunately, yes." Ling Ying answered weakly. "If I had a chance to fix this, I would have prevented Xiao Yan from sneaking into your room that night, miss."
"It... It has become one of my regrets in this life."
"I am truly deserving of punishment..."
"I will report this matter to the Clan Head, and will atone for my sins in the Great Fall..."
Gu Xun'er panicked, really. Her eyes widened. Her heart sank. The Great Fall is a sinned place of the Ancient Gu Clan, where the most accursed members of the clan are punished for their sins, whether it was disloyalty or misdeed.
"Don't! Please don't report this to my father yet, Ling Ying!" Gu Xun'er said while grasping Ling Ying's arm.
Ling Ying shook his head helplessly and then replied, "Miss, you have no idea how dangerous your situation was."
"You're lucky!"
"Your usage of Heavenly Flame has reached the realm of Dou King, one realm away from Dou Emperor, which is where I am at."
"Once you stepped over that, even I couldn't stop you."
"You could have died..." Ling Ying put his hands over his face, feeling very frustrated not only with himself, but also with his young miss and the future of the Gu Clan.
"If Han Yuan didn't sacrifice himself, your life... I can't even imagine how much pain he went through."
Gu Xun'er raised her eyebrows, "What does this thing have to do with him?!"
"Han Yuan saved you! He saved your life, miss!" Ling Ying snapped back in anger and shame.
"Don't you feel it?"
"The comfort in your body?"
"How easy and free it was for you to breathe, with no pain in your chest, no lingering burn in your lungs..."
Gu Xun'er frowned and then paled immediately.
Yes, everything felt. Normal.
But that's not how it's supposed to feel!
Even after Brother Xiao Yan helped her, she had never felt like this.
After the age of three, Gu Xun'er has never felt like it. After being chosen by the Holy Flame, every day felt like torture to her, but that's her duty, and she has no choice.
Yet, tonight. At this very moment, Gu Xun'er felt the long-lost freedom of having cold night air fill her lungs.
Then, she cried.
"Why am I crying?" She wiped her tears.
She hurriedly looked at her guardian again, "Ling Ying..."
"W-What happened to that boy? What happened to Han Yuan?"
"Y-You said he sacrificed himself to save me..."
Ling Ying clenched his hands, "I am ashamed, miss. I cannot suppress your condition. Even then, Han Yuan, despite all the things you, no, we have done, stepped to me and offered himself to stop you."
"I helped him restrain you while he marched to you, and used a secret technique to absorb excess energy from your raging Heavenly Flame."
"Half of his body burnt, scarred, and more importantly, crippled beyond what I am capable of healing or compensating..."
"His meridians burst, his Dou Qi is chaotic."
"Only medicine above Rank 7 could cure him."
"Or his future as a Dou Fighter is dim, if not ended tonight."
Upon hearing this, Gu Xun'er trembled at the thought of that fearless boy, crippled for life with an ugly burn on half of his body.
That boy has an immense will to live.
The boy has an immense talent and martial skills.
He could have reached the peak of this world given enough time.
Yet, he sacrificed himself to save her?
Gu Xun'er should feel happy that the person who made Brother Xiao Yan cry is now gone from the higher stage of this world, but she couldn't!
Ironic.
How ironic.
The boy whom she sought to defeat was the one who pulled her from the possibility of death!
Immense guilt overwhelmed Gu Xun'er. She recalled Han Yuan's history and knew he had one family member left, the one he vowed to protect even when fighting her.
The reason he struggled despite being so young.
But now? He couldn't even protect her.
All that because of Gu Xun'er!
'Because of me!'
Gu Xun'er fell to the ground in heartache. She glanced at the torn cloth not far away, reaching for it. She watched it crumble under her mere touch, becoming ashes and returning to earth.
The scent of iron from dried blood was nauseating, giving Gu Xun'er the idea of how Han Yuan struggled for her! For HER!
A stranger he had only met tonight.
A stranger who wanted to beat him up for a petty reason!
"D-Did he say anything before he left..." Gu Xun'er looked at Ling Ying with a complex emotion. She can't handle this alone.
Ling Ying watched his young miss undergo the huge struggle after this realization and hesitated before answering, "No."
"I see..." Gu Xun'er smiled bitterly.
'That's right, how can he pardon me after what I've done?'
'It is unforgivable...'
"Han Yuan didn't leave any word for you, but..." Ling Ying brought out a jade bottle. "He left you with a bottle of 'Yin-rich' medicinal pills."
"He said eating this once a day will make your condition better."
"Although I haven't identified the pills fully, they indeed have a rich 'Yin' medicinal property."
"And Han Yuan, despite having bandaged all over his body like a mummy, smiled and handed this to me..."
"Miss, he smiled despite the pain... And gave this medicine to you."
At this very moment, Gu Xun'er felt as if lightning had struck her to the very core. She reached for the jade bottle with a trembling hand and opened it.
A handful of snowy blue pills lie within, glimmering with coldness.
She poured one out and ate it, making Ling Ying panic.
"Miss!" Ling Ying wanted to stop Gu Xun'er, but it was too late.
Gu Xun'er swallowed the pill, tasting sweetness and coldness spreading from her chest to all her body. The pill tastes amazing! On top of that, the growing warmth from the sealed Heavenly Flame calmed down dramatically.
"It works..."
Drip! Drip!
Gu Xun'er looked down as tears fell to the ground. "Hehe, I am such a bad girl..."
"How could he be so kind to his enemy..."
"After all that..."
"In fact, Han Yuan didn't blame you, miss." Ling Ying sighed. "He said to me that he understood your anger and vengeance as his sister would have done the same if he got wronged like Xiao Yan did..."
'That... That only makes me feel worse...'
Gu Xun'er smiled bitterly with tears all over her face.
And due to all these factors, Han Yuan's figure seems to be imprinted deep in her heart. It was tall and warm, overcoming all challenges as if they were a breeze to him.
At the same time, Xiao Yan's figure seemed to become smaller, slowly cornered out of her heart.
Not forgotten, but gradually overshadowed by a new light.
After all, impressions changed everything. And Gu Xun'er, being a child, made it easier to forget momentary comfort than true freedom!
Like she did when she experienced comfort from Xiao Yan for the first time, she longed for more of it.
What Han Yuan did opened a new path for Gu Xun'er. Guilt and gratitude are intertwined, arousing curiosity yet careful thoughtfulness.
What happened tonight taught Gu Xun'er not to be emotional and willful any longer.
"Ling Ying, let's go back." Gu Xun'er wiped her tears, clutching the precious jade bottle in her hand. "Tomorrow, I will visit Han Yuan..."
"And apologize..."
Ling Ying heard this and smiled weakly, "Okay, miss."
Under the white crescent moon, Ling Ying and Gu Xun'er returned to the Xiao Clan's compound, having trouble sleeping yet drawn in quietness and reassurance.
And even in her sleep, Gu Xun'er never releases the jade bottle from her hug. The only source of comfort for her now.