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--- Chapter 180 ---
Qian Renxue stared at Bibi Dong.
And Bibi Dong stared at Qian Renxue.
The mother and daughter are silent, making the atmosphere of the holy throne room seem colder than usual.
'The truth, huh?' Bibi Dong thought of Qian Renxue's wish upon hearing it, and couldn't help but feel a pang of helplessness in her heart.
If there is one thing she wishes Qian Renxue didn't know, then it would be the truth. Unfortunately, Bibi Dong knew just how stubborn her daughter was.
Qian Renxue takes after her so much, so taking "no" as an answer is not the way.
Bibi Dong was helpless. "Do you really want to know?"
"Perhaps knowing the truth will hurt you more."
"Stop playing riddle, and tell me!" Qian Renxue replied coldly.
Affected by Qian Renxue's cold words, Bibi Dong sighed and stared at the grandly decorated ceiling. Then, she looked down at the tiled floor below, reminding herself of the past.
"Back then, I was an orphan."
"However, I was lucky to awaken twin martial spirits."
Bibi Dong continued somberly, "Your father, no, that man discovered me and took me as his close disciple, making me a saint of the spirit hall at the time."
"That man gave me anything I wanted."
"I only needed to ask, and they arrived the next day."
"Pretty clothes."
"Roof, soft and warm bed."
"Precious jewelry."
"Cultivation resources, and even direct teachings..." She had a nostalgic look on her face. "I don't know when, but I started to take things for granted."
"I think it was normal for me to get all these things, because I'm the saint of Spirit Hall, and the student of the pope."
"Back then, I didn't know actions could have consequences, nor the weight of the crown."
"Then, I get arrogantly bored." Bibi Dong showed Qian Renxue a bitter smile. "The world lost its color because that man basically handed everything to me on a silver platter."
"Besides cultivation, I had no sense of achievement."
"Gradually, I wished to have a kindred spirit. Someone I can be close with and call a friend, if not lover."
"You..." Qian Renxue's eyes widened in disbelief. She didn't expect the conflict between her father and Bibi Dong to start this way.
A fucking love triangle?
How ridiculous!
Bibi Dong didn't mind the glare and added, "I was young back then. It's normal to have a foolish and courageous spirit."
"One day, I met a man. He was weak because of the mutation of his martial soul, but he didn't give up and searched for a way to fix his problem, even if others despised him."
"Normally, I'd have looked down on such a person."
"But that day, his forbearance shook me. Something about the spirit of not giving up and his intelligence attracts me." Bibi Dong sighed, recalling how she met Yu Xiaogang. "Too bad, he was a liar."
"He was actually a cowardly man, acting brave and smart to attract me, and he was lucky to have that act work on me."
"His intelligence wasn't even that good, and subpar at best. If not for the ancient knowledge of his clan, he wouldn't have fooled me."
"Yet, I fell in love with him."
"Foolish decision of mine, but hey, people say love is blinding." Bibi Dong chuckled, patting her head as if scolding herself. "I was so blind that I didn't know that man monitored my interaction with him."
"The closer I am with him, the further apart that man feels from me."
"The breaking point is when I wanted to run away with him."
Qian Renxue couldn't suppress it anymore and lashed, "You gotta be kidding me? You abandoned everything for trash!"
"Spirit Hall gave everything to you, you, you ungrateful white-eyed wolf!"
Bibi Dong smiled faintly, "Yes, you're right. I am an ungrateful white-eyed wolf."
"I didn't know my duty."
"But that will take a horrible turn."
"That man forbade me from meeting the person I love."
"It made me sad and depressed, and when I learned that he kicked him out of the Spirit Hall, I was angry."
"I was so angry that I cursed him on the spot..."
"Bad decision."
"At that moment, that man snapped. He couldn't handle my attitude anymore and did the unforgivable, at least in my eyes and heart."
"He raped me." Bibi Dong bluntly said, not hiding a coldness in her voice from the deepest part of her heart. She might not hate her daughter, Qian Renxue, anymore, but Qian Xunji is a different matter.
"And that's how you're born..."
As if struck by lightning, Qian Renxue froze on the spot. Something in her heart broke apart because of the gentle image of her late father crumbling rapidly.
"No!" She was in denial.
"That can't be!"
"How can father do that?"
Bibi Dong wanted to comfort Qian Renxue, but instead maintained a solemn look. "You wanted the truth."
"And what I said is the truth, Xue'er."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Qian Renxue roared back.
"I finally know why you hate me so much."
"I finally know why you wanted to kill me so much."
"Hah, no wonder you wished me to disappear from your sight."
"My mere presence must disgust you so much!"
"I AM JUST DIRTY SPAWN IN YOUR EYES!"
"I AM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER! I AM JUST QIAN XUNJI'S DAUGHTER, RIGHT?!"
Bibi Dong was stunned, "No..."
"Previously, I was..."
Bibi Dong wanted to say Rakshasa's will clouded her judgment, but that action of hers actually stemmed from her hatred of Qian Xunji.
Even if she used Qian Renxue as the continuation of her hatred, though she shouldn't, she couldn't help it.
Although her disgust toward Qian Renxue is not much at first, it is still there, and the Rakshasa's will multiplied that by thousands.
She clenched her hand, "I am sorry, Xue'er."
"I am really a horrible mother." She smiled weakly.
"Don't say sorry..." Qian Renxue blew her nose angrily. "You haven't told me everything."
Bibi Dong slumped on her throne. "What more do you want to know?"
"My father, did you kill him?" Qian Renxue asked indifferently.
"Yes." Bibi Dong replied calmly.
"I hate him, so I killed him."
"There is no need to complicate things."
Qian Renxue's body bloomed with intense golden light, "THEN, WHY DID YOU HATE ME SO MUCH!"
"YOU KILLED MY FATHER!"
"YOU HAVE AVENGED YOUR HATRED!"
"ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?"
"WHY CAN'T YOU TREAT ME BETTER?"
"EVEN FOR A SECOND!"
"I WORKED HARD TO MAKE YOU PROUD!"
"TO SHOW YOU MY LOVE TOWARD YOU!"
"I SWEAT BLOOD AND TEARS TO SEEK YOUR APPROVAL!"
"EVERY FUCKING DAY!" Tears of golden blood ran down Qian Renxue's cheeks as her 'Seraphim' martial soul got triggered by her intense emotion.
Qian Renxue sobbed, "Even a smile from you would be fine..."
"It would make my days..."
"But never in twenty years of my life have you ever smiled at me."
"You gave all your motherly love to your dear disciple..."
"While I was alone in the Heaven Dou Empire doing a mission for you!"
"JUST FOR YOU, BIBI DONG!"
"SO, YOU CAN UNIFY THIS DAMNED CONTINENT!"
"WHY WASN'T THAT ENOUGH!"
"TELL ME!"
"TELL ME!"
"Enough, Renxue!" Bibi Dong's heart sank upon seeing her daughter cry, and every word she uttered made her feel worse than ever. Countless swords seemed to pierce her heart, making it bleed and sting in irony.
"I am wrong!"
"I know..."
"I admitted that I was wrong. I was wrong for treating you horribly."
"I made you suffer..." Bibi Dong walked to Qian Renxue unsteadily, "But I didn't have a choice."
"As much as I hate you..."
"You're still my daughter!"
"I sent you away from the Spirit Hall because I know my hatred toward Qian Xunji and the Qian Family would make me hate you even more."
"Every time I see you. I saw that man, and I can't control myself!"
"You reminded me of him. I was mad, enraged, and crazy!"
"If you stayed by my side any longer, I can't control myself from killing you, and it pained me!" Bibi Dong teared up. She stared at Qian Renxue's wet eyes.
"So it's better for you to stay away from me..."
Qian Renxue bit her lips till they bled, "Liar!"
"If you have such a conscience, at least you would have written me a letter!"
"But you never did!"
"I am not!" Bibi Dong painfully replied.
"I wish I could do that, but I can't!"
"Hateful whispers echo in my mind! I can't even think of anything other than avenging myself!"
"I can't think of anything other than destroying Angel Lineage!"
"I was like a puppet dancing with lines attached!"
"Every day, every hour, every minute, every single second!"
"Even in my sleep!"
"The whispers never stop!"
Bibi Dong crashed down and covered her teary face, "It's not until last night that the whisper is gone."
"I can think more rationally again."
"With no hatred, no anger, and no strings attached."
"I knew just how horrible a mother I am, and I wished I could rewind time."
"So, I can spend more time with you."
"Repaying all my mistakes."
"Giving you all the motherly love you deserve."
"But it's too late!" Bibi Dong slammed her fist down, causing the floor to crack instantly. "I can't erase and take all those hurtful words and actions back."
"I have harmed you!"
"I have harmed our relationship..."
Qian Renxue looked down in silence, wiping her tears with her sleeve, and said tremblingly, "D-Do you really mean it?"
"Will you really love me?"
"Will you finally be my mother instead of the cold pope I know?"
"A-As long as you give me a chance..." Bibi Dong looked up, replying with a longing and resolute expression. "I will do anything to make up for my past."
"Even if you wanted to take my life."
"I will do it."
Qian Renxue crashed down to Bibi Dong, burying her head on her bosom and crying, "I don't want your life..."
"I just want my mom."
"Give me back my mom!"
Bibi Dong hugged Qian Renxue tightly, clutching her body as if she were afraid of losing her precious daughter again. "Y-Yes..."
She cried even more.
"Thank you, Xue'er."
"Thank you."
"Mom is here."
"Mom won't leave you anymore."
Qian Renxue and Bibi Dong embraced each other in this 'unfamiliar' yet comforting warmth. Despite their rocky past, the connection between them is tender and sweet.
"Mom..." Qian Renxue closed her eyes, enjoying Bibi Dong's hug.
"Xue'er." Bibi Dong brushed against Qian Renxue's hair, smiling gently.
At that moment, the luck within the Spirit Hall was returned to its former glory, shining brightly to face the incoming chaos.
From the embrace, an inextinguishable golden flame bloomed.
A healed bud of love emerged.
A mother's repenting love.
A child's accepting love.
Finally, becoming whole again.
A gear of fate is moving in a better direction.