Arthur took me through the places I used to frequent, places I should've known by heart. It wasn't until he insisted that I memorize every corner of the library that I learned the truth. Vesper had instructed the few servants he trusted to keep my condition a secret. He didn't want others to know that I've lost my memories for the fear that his enemies in Court would use me to get to him. When he told me this, I could already feel the guilt, thick and rotting within me, spreading like mold.
Still, I didn't let it get to me as I focused on Arthur's words when he explained to me how I used to spend most of my days in the library, pouring over the books Vesper had brought from the lands that he'd taken. He said that I would record them all and keep it in this very place. A tower with its walls covered in levels and levels of books. It resembled more like an archive than a normal library, the scent of ink, parchment and its bindings potent.
Scribes would loiter around us in their brown robes, men and women alike, bowing to me as they passed me by. I tried appearing nonchalant, trying to keep up the act that I was just there with Arthur on some errand and not a tour. Still, it didn't escape my surprise when Arthur pointed at the pile of books in a corner, still unrecorded and already threatening to take over the place. Those were the newer ones, he had mentioned, the ones His Majesty, my husband, had came back with from his last campaigns.
We eventually ended the tour back in the courtyard, where he told me that I would usually be found here, if not for the gardens by the kitchen with the vegetables or the library. This particular courtyard held many fond memories for both Vesper and I, apparently. But as I was about to venture deeper, Arthur had excused himself to tend to his other duties, seeing as guests were about to arrive and things are starting to get busy.
Once he excused himself, I then ventured into the courtyard. The two guards that were trailing behind us all this time had the forethought to remain by the entrance, while his friend by the exit, leaving me with some semblance of privacy. It's not like I could escape either, seeing as I'm surrounded by bushes of red roses and beautiful columns covered in vines that lined the walkway surrounding the courtyard.
I let my feet carry me to the fountain in the middle. With red roses blooming underneath the sun, it looks terrifyingly beautiful. The way the dragon was intricately carved at the top, its jaws opened and body crouched, as if poised to strike. Its claws, I noticed upon a closer look, was curved protectively around the Dragomir family crest. The same crest that were etched into the walls and ceilings of the castle, a constant reminder to everyone who truly held the power here.
"This is where we met, did you know?" he asked, his voice unmistakable.
I turned to find him standing behind me with his hands folded behind. He had washed up and changed, it seemed, for he looked a little bit more refreshed with clothes that made him look every inch the king that he is. A dark green doublet with cooper accents and dark trousers that brings out the darkness of his eyes. He's even wearing his crown, sharp-angled and forged with gold.
"How did we meet?" I asked back, turning to face the dragon, the sound of water splashing down soothing my nerves from being so close to him, after what we'd just said, the way we ended things.
"It was like the gods had brought you to me. You so happened to stumble into the ball I was hosting, all torn up and injured. You fainted in this very spot." he said, pointing to the place where I'm standing.
I step away like the floor burned. "It seems like you're always rescuing me, always appearing at the right moment."
"Thank god I did," he smiled to himself, flashing his dimple. "Or you wouldn't be here right now. But it's not me. Vala brought you."
"Your dragon?" I gasped, unable to hide my surprise.
He grinned. "She never does that, you know. Dragons are very proud creatures," he explained, his gaze fixed on the statue. "But for some reason, she was the one who brought you to me, carried you and dropped you here. Maybe she sensed something in you, that could eventually fix me."
"Why would you need fixing?"
"I was...broken, to say the least."
I was taken aback to learn that someone as powerful as Vesper could be broken. The revelation only deepened the guilt churning in my gut. Swallowing my pride, I cleared my throat.
"Vesper, I'm sorry," I said, eyes dropping to the ground.
His shoes entered my vision, causing me to look up to find him smiling at me. "Whatever for?"
"I shouldn't have provoked you like that. You meant well." I confessed, "I just don't know what came over me."
"You weren't wrong," he replied.
My mind immediately reeled back to the cheating comment I've made, how he was looking for whores to fuck. Stunned. I could already feel my heart starting its descent until I heard him chuckle.
"And you didn't believe me when I told you we're married," he said, his eyes softening as he cupped my cheek with one hand. "But before you freak out, what I meant was, you weren't wrong. It was stupid of me to suggest that. I just...I've nearly lost you too many times. I was desperate to keep you safe."
"Then you should know that I've survived it all," I told him, my hands flying to his chest. "I'm not as weak as you make me to be."
"I know," he said, looking away, his jaw clenching with guilt. "I just can't help but feel that it's my fault, every time you'd be in danger."
"It's not your fault, Vesper."
He turns back to me, his thumb rubbing against my cheek, as if he needed it to cope. "If only I hadn't been so selfish and let you go that night, maybe you wouldn't have been through all this."
Holding onto his wrists, I brave myself to meet his eyes, searching for lies only to find none. He had taken off his armor, so I'm taking mine off too. With his steady pulse thumping beneath my fingers as I move closer, I close my eyes and press my lips to his. Softly, gently, he parts his lips at last, his tongue dancing with mine as his hands slide to the back of my neck, tipping my head upward to draw me closer.
I'm still not sure where I stand with my feelings for him, but something warm lingers inside me. Despite the loss of my memories, he's already imprinted his essence within me in a way I can't shake, no matter how hard I'd try. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I'd want to win this game, knowing that the win hadn't felt like a true victory. He had surrendered so easily and it unsettles me.
He was the first to let go, pulling away even as I ached to stay close. And the way he's looking at me, like I'm the most precious thing in the world, it makes my heart swell. It makes me want to kiss him again, to draw him back into the warmth between us. I want to carve that look into my soul and keep it in the deepest parts of my memories, just so I won't lose it again.
"Before we get carried away," he whispered against my lips, his breath warm and lingering. "I'm actually here to give you this."
From behind his back, he revealed a crown, identical to the one he wore but only smaller. Its feminine version. Forged in gold with sharp edges, it gleamed under the sunlight. Unlike his, this one bears intricate carvings of roses entwined with thorns.
"May I?"
I nod, struck speechless as he lifted the crown and gently placed it on my head. My gaze drifted upward, trying to see it resting on the top of my head, whether it looks right on me. It wasn't as heavy as I'd imagined, but it carried an invisible weight all its own.
"There you are, my Queen." he said with quiet awe.
"We should go," he reminded, his hands still resting on my shoulders, eyes warm with admiration. "There are people I'd like you to meet."
"Does it have to be now?" I murmured, my voice laced with reluctance, sounding like a petulant child more than I meant to, with the way my nerves are coiling around my gut.
He chuckled, low and warm, making me want to bottle that sound. He pressed a kiss to my forehead before offering his arm with that familiar, endearing charm of his. "We can pick up where we left off later, my love. But for now, the guests are already waiting in the orangery."
"There's an orangery?" I gasped as I take his hand, my mind already reeling with what the place could look like. Arthur hadn't brought me there during our tour, so maybe it's a place I didn't really frequented in the past.
"Of course there is," he replied, leading us through the courtyard and through the walkway. "There are more than a few orangeries, though you are rarely there. You've always been more fond of the kitchens."
I shot him a look. If he noticed it, he didn't even bother to acknowledge it as we walked through the hall, passing a few busy servants along the way. No wonder Arthur had shown me the kitchens. He did mention earlier that I would often be found there, chatting with the kitchenmaids and the cooks while they prepare me my snacks in the afternoon or sometimes, late at night.
"This is why I was really concerned when I saw how much weight you've lost in just a few days," he finally said. "You've always loved food."
I gave him another look.
"It's not a bad thing," he added quickly. "Honestly, it's one of the things I've always loved most about you."
"Nice save," I teased, tapping his arm.
"It's true!" he argued. "What's wrong with women enjoying food?"
"Nothing, nothing at all." I shrugged, enjoying seeing him squirm.
"Exactly," he said, his voice softening. "I just want you to be healthy again."
"I know," I replied, failing to hide my smile.
Vesper stops in his tracks before we head in. I eye him curiously, wondering what the sudden pause is all about. Already we can hear the sound of conversations and music from beyond these closed doors. All we'd have to do is step in. But Arthur appeared out of nowhere beside him.
"Everything's ready, sir." he informed.
"Then let's get to it, Arthur." he instructed, pulling me closer by his side by his arm.
"Yes, sir." he replied, before disappearing inside.
Moments later, the music faltered away as the conversations died down. When the grand doors swing open, the guards step aside like shadow parting before a storm. I force myself not to shrink beneath the flood of stares, as if I was some rare artifact, their eyes scanning me from head to toe, searching even for the faintest flaws long before we even cross the threshold.
"Their Royal Highnesses, King Vesperian Dragomir and Queen Iris Elysian Dragomir," Arthur declared, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade.
Vesper flashed a warm smile in my direction, reassuring me that all would be well. After all, he has much more to lose if I did fuck this up. And I didn't want to disappoint him either, so I returned that smile, hoping that it would mask the tightness coiling in my chest.
He guided us forward, each step deliberate. The sound of our footsteps echoing through the room as they watched us, men with their heads bowing in respect and the women, dropping into elegant curtsies as we passed. With the room, decorated with elaborate flowers, silks, jewels and champagne for a single afternoon, it felt more like a lion's den than an event welcoming me back home.
It wasn't until we reached the center that Vesper stopped, the crowd poised in silence. Then, like a lion stepping into the clearing, reverence thick in the air, he raised his hand. Not rushed, not hesitant, but with an unshakable confidence of a man born to command.
"You may proceed," he said, gesturing the musicians and immediately, they obeyed.
He lets my arm go, only to capture my hand in his, bowing low. His lips brush the back of my hand, warm and deliberate while his eyes are glinting with mischief. It feels like we're performing for them all.
"Dance with me?"
I nod, unable to speak but I let my body move on instinct. Gently pulling me to him, as if the floor itself is tilting me towards his gravity, I let him. One arm sliding around me waist, while the other lifting our joined hands. His hold on me steady, confident, as if we've done this a thousand times before. Perhaps we did, of course we did. In another life.
"Just pretend that we're alone," he whispered, his breath grazing my ear, sending delicious shivers down my spine. The words settle in my chest, warm and weightless and...familiar.
Around us, the world blurs. The chandelier glittering above us as we spin around the middle. From the murmuring crowd, the lavish floral decorations, all dissolve into one swirling haze. Even as we spin, as the room melts into shadows and light, he watches me with a quiet intensity that dares me to look away. But I can't, not when he's pulled me into his world so completely, leaving me wondering how I'm supposed to survive this.