Land of Whirlpools, on the main street.
Akio was making rounds.
Just walking in circles.
He couldn't help it. As a "man who was supposed to be dead," even though he'd already instructed Uzumaki Goshe to announce that he was still alive, it wasn't hard to imagine what the streets of the Uzumaki nation were saying right now.
"Did you hear? Elder Akio is still alive!"
"No way, hasn't he been dead for three years?"
"It's true! Someone said they saw him!"
"You must've mistaken someone. I even went to pay respects at his grave during the New Year…"
Akio: "…"
Fine, he supposed it was slightly comforting that civilians still visited his grave during holidays…
Who was he kidding? It wasn't comforting at all.
So, he was walking laps. He needed more people to see him. He needed everyone to know he wasn't dead… but it didn't seem to be working.
"The news is real. I'm really not dead."
Civilian A: "We're talking about the Elder. Why are you joining in?"
Civilian B: "Don't be angry, ninja-sama. My friend really admires the Elder, so he gets touchy when others interrupt…"
Akio: "…"
Admire your head!
I'm standing right in front of you and you don't recognize me?!
Aren't you afraid I'll get angry?
After another lap, Akio gave up.
"A bunch of fools!"
He'd originally been excited to return to the Uzumaki nation, to meet his two long-unseen disciples and Minato and Kushina.
But once he arrived, he learned that although Kirigakure had surrendered last night, the Uzumaki forces couldn't simply withdraw immediately. They'd need two or three more days.
Since he had time, he tried spreading the news that he was alive to the public.
Result: abysmal.
"Boring… I can't exactly fly into the sky and shout 'I'm alive!'"
He muttered… though for some reason, the idea was slightly tempting…
"Forget it. I'll go train Naruto instead."
Naruto's House
Little Naruto sat in his chair, glaring resentfully at a book titled The History of the Uzumaki Nation.
"Anyone named Akio is a bad guy!"
Smack!
"Ow! Goshe-sensei, you hit me again?!"
Uzumaki Goshe frowned.
"Don't insult the Elder!"
"Oh? Naruto dares insult me now?"
Akio's figure appeared in the room.
"Elder!"
Goshe immediately stood up.
Naruto, however, didn't move and pointedly turned his head away.
A moment later, Naruto stiffly rotated his head, stiffly stood, stiffly opened his mouth:
"O… ld… p-… pork… b… owl… hello."
Seeing Naruto's terrified expression, Akio sighed.
Using gravitational force to manipulate Naruto's body was easy, but forcing him to speak precisely… that was still beyond delicate control.
"A dignified ancestor like me… and 'old pork bowl' is what you call me? What even is that?"
Akio released his jutsu, and Naruto dropped back onto the chair.
"Now, now. A good child should greet people properly. Try again on your own."
Naruto's eyes shifted. He stood.
"Old pork bowl, hello!"
Akio: "…"
Goshe spoke in shame, "Forgive me, Elder. I failed to educate him."
Akio waved him off.
"It's fine. Kids are rebellious. With patience, they'll turn out well."
Goshe clearly wasn't convinced.
Akio ignored it. Naruto was just a bit defiant.
There was no way a child could out-stubborn him.
He glanced at the history book on the table. After flipping a few pages, he frowned.
Not because it was poorly written, it was too detailed, drowning in unnecessary parts.
The book should've focused on:
Under Elder Akio's leadership, defeating the Kaguya clan.
Under Elder Akio's leadership, forming an alliance with Konoha.
Under Elder Akio's leadership, founding the Uzumaki nation.
Etc.
Akio looked at Goshe, then tossed the book back.
"Take it. I'll personally educate Naruto from now on."
"Yes, Elder!"
"Nooo! Goshe-sensei!"
No one cared about Naruto's protests. After Goshe left, only Naruto and Akio remained.
Akio glanced at the sulking Naruto and cheerfully pulled him through the air.
Naruto didn't resist, he knew it was pointless.
But the next second, he panicked.
Akio lifted his shirt and put a hand on his stomach.
"Old pork bowl, what are you doing?!"
Akio ignored him, rubbing his belly.
"Help!!"
Ten minutes later, Akio let Naruto's shirt drop back down.
The 64-layer composite seal he'd constructed at full power was difficult even for him to open a crack in.
Naruto looked traumatized, making Akio sigh.
"What could an ancestor like me possibly do to you? Aren't you curious about that seal on your belly?"
Naruto was curious… but still too stubborn to ask.
"Fine. I'll tell you some ninja world history."
"A long, long time ago, pfft. No. Let's start from sixty years ago."
"Back then was the Warring States era. Konoha didn't exist. Our Uzumaki clan was still struggling to survive. Because of our alliance with the Senju, I represented the Uzumaki in the war against the Uchiha…"
Naruto pretended not to listen at first, but gradually became absorbed.
"Old pork bowl… then what happened?"
Akio sighed. This nickname…
"Then I had a great battle with Uchiha Madara"
"What about the First Hokage?"
Akio's face darkened. Naruto's focus was way off.
"Later, Hashirama spared Madara and founded Konoha."
"The First Hokage was amazing…"
Naruto's eyes shone.
Akio: "…"
So I tell a whole dramatic story about fighting Madara, and you only admire Hashirama for letting him go and building a village?!
"Old pork bowl, keep going!"
Three days later
Naruto was half-asleep.
Akio, meanwhile, was still rambling.
"With my vastly increased power, I crushed the revived Madara and sent him back to the afterlife.
Now you understand how great your ancestor is, right? I've set aside all that glory just to tell you these stories."
"...Naruto?"
"Naruto? Are you listening?!"
"Huh? Oh! Old pork bowl… you finished?"
Akio sighed.
"The story's over. What did you learn?"
"Mm! The Hokage of Konoha are all amazing! But I'll become an even greater Hokage!"
Akio: "…"
He told a fake story…
"What about me? Huh? Me?"
Naruto squeezed out a line.
"Old pork bowl, you're great too!"
Akio exhaled. Strangely… it felt a little gratifying.
But seriously
old pork bowl?
Is that nickname permanent now?
"Forget it. Come on, let's go. Your parents are almost home."
"Okay!"
---
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