I didn't know where I was going to go-- somewhere, anywhere away from Dmitri and his unerring path towards douche-baggery. I didn't think I was being unreasonable in my request... but maybe it was too much for him. After Mike, I gave up trying to understand men--I could hit my head against a brick wall and get more achieved with less headache.
Unlocking the door to the Grand Cherokee, I sprung into the seat and slammed the keys in the ignition. The beast roared to life and I flew off on my four-wheel drive broomstick.
At the stop sign where the cul-de-sac intersected the cross street, I turned on the bluetooth speaker mounted on my visor and pulled out the cell phone from the depths of my purse. Jet answered after three rings, and as soon as I heard her voice, I tucked the cell into my bra. My 'secret pocket' made getting to the cell much easier.
"What's up, homefry?" She was eating something crunchy.
"Dmitri is busy being a dickhead. You busy?"
Crunch... crunch..."Kinda... I've got an appointment scheduled in about thirty minutes, but I can keep ya company on the phone while you get your rage out. What did he do this time?" Chomp, chomp, chomp.
Rage. That's a good way to put it. "He's going out for coffee with an old acquaintance who'd like him to do work on her house."
A pause in Jet's mastication. "So? It's business. Why are you so pissed off at him?" Crunch.
"Because it's Lorryn."
The moment of silence seemed almost a decade long as the crunching ceased. "Lorryn?"
"Yep. The one, the only."
"Okay, I gotcha now... why is he having coffee with her? They could talk at his shop during work hours." Crunch.
"That is why I'm rather irked at him, Jet. That and he promised me back in the day if she popped up again, he'd give her the cold shoulder... not go out for coffee." Traffic on the cross street zipped by. The single lane seemed like a conga line of SUVs and pickup trucks with an occasional sedan thrown in for fun. Frustration built as I waited for a chance to make a left turn.
"What did you say to him, oh Princess of the Pissed Off Peoples?" Jet's tone held a tiny rebuke in it reserved for me.
"I told him that he shouldn't even contemplate letting her back into his life. You know what he said to me? He told me I could come along and make an awkward scene or I could chill with you and bitch. Then he told me 'whatever makes you fucking happy'." My opportunity came and the pedal hit the metal. Tires squealed and my heart raced. I wonder if Dmitri heard it?
"You're in your car already, aren't you?"
"Yep. Gonna get the hell out for a bit. I think I'm gonna head up to Elk Creek and drive around. It'll get me out of the village for a while. The thought of him sucking coffee down across from her just pisses me off. He knows what he's in for when it comes to her... just argh!" Primal scream therapy has nothing on me. I passed by drive thru restaurants and headed towards the overpass which served as a gateway to the great outdoors.
Jet laughed. "Take a chill pill, Harpy Empress."
"He told me he wasn't planning on 'sucking face' or 'getting a blowjob' from her either." Icy-cold anger roared through my body over the thought of him and her going at it. I didn't want to conjure the image to pollute my mind. However, my brain doesn't work like that. Plant an idea and the fertile soil of my brain will make it thrive without any tending.
"He really said that? No wonder you're miffed. I can cancel my appointment. Let's hang out... I got a bottle of absinthe from an admirer I've been saving for an occasion. Let's channel Oscar Wilde and visit with the Green Fairy."
"Nah, don't cancel. I'll speed up the mountain and probably head up to the lake. Still got the telescope in the back... might as well get some use out of it. Maybe when you get done with your appointment, you could head up and we'll star gaze. Funny thing... I told Dmitri to call me when he was done, but if I'm up in the hills, I won't get his call. I suppose I could tool around Bayliss and Glenn, but the CHP and Sheriff tend to frown upon speeding." I wanted to hear the engine roar and scenery fly by.
"Just start humming the theme to CHiPs. I hear they like that. What about Wiley, wouldn't he put a cramp in your style? He's law enforcement for the mountains."
"I'm not going up Forest Highway 7... just going to the lake. And if he stopped me for an infraction, Wiley'd give me a citation no matter if I turned on the waterworks. I wouldn't get diplomatic immunity especially if I mentioned the fights with Dmitri... I mean, they were war buddies. That's probably a lot closer than most couples get. Besides, he doesn't cut slack for anyone. I'm positive he'd cite his own parents."
"You could always try flashing him some cleavage. Otherwise, don't speed. Turn your tunes up loud and think of how miserable Dimi's going to be sitting across from her and pondering the foolish things he said that made you stomp out in a huff while dealing with a nutcase with an affection for kitchen gadgets. He should be grateful you were merciful. I would have been a bit more...psycho. Flailing limbs, probably some twitching around the eye area and a nasty case of four-letter-explitative Tourettes. As a side note, I noticed you said fights... so elaborate."
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. The worn leather bit into my palm. "I don't feel merciful. I feel angry that he's setting himself up for another batch of drama and bullshit. He's a logical sort. That's one of the big things that I love about him... but whenever Lorryn's involved, that logic pulls an Elvis and leaves the building. Last night he and I had words about the wedding and how my lack of enthusiasm upsets him because I should be getting blasted and passing out herb sprigs when our guests show up."
"You are the first person I've seen not go apeshit with planning right out the gate. I can see how Dimi would see it as threatening. And maybe a few shots would loosen you up. Just not while you're driving. As for tonight's shitfit, don't dwell on it, you'll only drive yourself crazy. Maybe he went to tell her that you two kids are planning a wedding and to decline the job offer. Or she might've gotten her med combo right and will keep the topic on what she wants done to her house, not her body."
"Thanks for that glimmering example of the awesome potential. Yay." I crested the overpass to Highway 162 and headed due west. "Why does it bug me so much?" It was meant to be rhetorical in nature.
"Because you are a closet control freak."
"That explains it all, doesn't it?" I drove towards the rolling hills, past houses, fields of alfalfa and grain for livestock. The road began to twist like a serpent as the elevation grew. "I'm heading up the hill now, gonna lose reception when I get to the race track so if the phone cuts off, that's why." Almond orchards in their green-leafed glory sped by as I got up to cruising speed.
"Duly noted. If Dmitri tries to get a hold of me, should I tell him where you are? "
"Sure, tell him. I don't want him worried because there's no reception in the mountains. You can tell him where to find me... at any rate, I plan on being back in the village by nine-thirty, ten at the latest."
"I don't want you to get offended, Kaylis, but sometimes you need to pull your own head out of your ass or at least install a window on your stomach so you can see. If I were you, I'd stick to Bayliss, or your grandfather's ranch for stargazing. It'd be romantic... you, a telescope, the star-lit sky, Dmitri all weirded out from dealing with Lorryn and wanting a little sympathy--"
"And ass loads of mosquitoes. No thanks. Did you have a point?"
"You need to mellow out. Head over to Willow's and get stoned. Dmitri wouldn't mind because you'd finally be relaxed."
"I'm not going to get stoned. I like my cognitive ability, thank you. I can text him where I'll be, I suppose." I sighed. It felt as if I contacted him first, I'd be capitulating to him. I wanted him to contact me, not the other way around.
"You don't lose cognitive ability, dipshit. It mellows you out so you can take that lump of coal out of your ass before it turns into a diamond. You think Carl Sagan would've smoked weed if it gave him the stupids? And yeah, texting him is a good idea. I'll text him for you since texting while driving is a bad idea. I got a ticket for it."
"Thanks. And again Jet, do you have a point?"
"Don't go fucking shit up with Dmitri because you're too damn stubborn yourself to calm down and not over-think things. Because you over-think things constantly. Do what you must to relax and chill out, then go home and be there with a smile on your face for when he gets back from inoculating himself against a future dose of crazy."
"He could have just told her no, not interested. He had that option."
"Dmitri is too nice to females, remember? He'll suffer through a cup of strong black coffee and then politely excuse himself and run away quickly. He'll be glad to have dodged that bullet and come back home, anxious to make amends because you left with your panties in a wad."
"Between the mindfuck, having my lack of enthusiasm pointed out and criticized, being likened to Willow, and now him willingly hanging with Lorryn within an almost twenty-four hour period, I'm just drained. Like seriously fucking wiped out." Dusk began to fall around me, so I clicked on my headlights. "Maybe it's me. Maybe I should tell Dmitri we can wait a year, give me time to get all psyched about the wedding. Perhaps it's this avalanche of shit that has dampened my desire to get princess-pimped for a day. I wasn't always like this. I'm sure I had my wedding planned out when I was eight." Moments like this, when my hands have a deathgrip of anger around my steering wheel, that I'm thrilled with the wizardry of technology. Bluetooth speaker on my visor has paid for itself this night. If I had my cell in my hand, the plastic would probably be cracked by now.
"Yeah, that's a lot of roller-coaster crap in a short period. And you are not a fan of thrill rides."
"No, but I'm happy to stand by holding your purse so you can hang upside down at sixty-five miles an hour. Yay you and roller-coasters."
"Sitting by a cute guy has its purposes. Most especially when one wears something that shows cleavage. Gravity defying bras and roller-coasters... it's a good combination."
"I suppose."
"How far are you from the track?"
"About half a mile. Looks like they have a race going on, lots of lights peeking through the hills."
Lightning Mountain Race Track happened to be the village's cash cow. UC Davis tested new automobile technology here, and that's a bit of a drive, enough that it made headlines in the local rag. Races, motels and restaurants all benefited from high octane excitement.
I could see the tree and rose-lined wrought iron gates that led to the racetrack and parking lots in the distance. Wasn't long before I saw a car pull out from the gates and head towards me. No lights on, it disappeared in the shadow the hill cast upon the road. Maybe the dark would clue the driver that lights were needed. I'll say it's a perk of the Volvo, Dmitri's Silverado and newer cars in general with automatic headlights. With that in mind, I flashed on my high beams a couple times to get the driver's attention. Didn't work.
I caught sight in the rear-view mirror of a car hauling ass behind me. Damn, I hate tailgaters.
When the car I flashed reappeared from the shadow, it was in my lane and heading straight for me. "What the fuck is this guy doing?" Didn't realize I spoke aloud until Jet responded.
"What's going on?"
I forgot she was on the phone as soon as I spotted the car heading for me in my lane. "Car coming head on to me. No headlights. Have to go off road." I applied pressure to the brakes and steered toward the road shoulder. I couldn't pull into the other lane to pass, as a big rig driving toward the village blocked the escape. Hopefully the big rig's driver saw this clown and got the license plate number.
"Oh shit!" Jet's voice resonated panic, her voice splashed from the Bluetooth speaker to fill my cab.
"FUCK!" Big rig passed with another vehicle behind it and the car with no headlights still came my way. If I went completely off the road, I'd head up a hillside through a barbwire fence and flip the Jeep. As is, I was mostly off the road, trying to slow to a halt when the car in front of me entered the other lane as the driver noticed we were about twenty feet apart, and I was still going over thirty miles an hour.
Relief soaked into me. For a moment there, I was positive a crash was eminent. Checked the rear view mirror again and noticed the vehicle behind me was so close, the headlights were dimmed by being so near to my rear bumper.
"Jet, tell Dmitri I'm sorry." I blinked right before the jolting impact.
Then nothing.