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Making this decision was truly difficult.
Having a highly skilled bodyguard can often play a crucial role. Guan Yu attending a meeting alone with just his blade was no issue, but try putting Zhuge Liang in that situation—how would that go?
Thus, with Huang Zhong by his side, Fei Qian felt at ease no matter where he went. But now, suddenly losing this advantage made certain matters far more troublesome.
Once people grow accustomed to comfort, returning to hardship becomes unbearable.
To know others is wisdom; to know oneself is enlightenment. Understanding this principle isn't hard, but consistently acting upon it is far from easy.
That said, Huang Zhong's willingness to escort him all the way from Jingxiang was already an unexpected blessing. After all, Huang Zhong wasn't subordinate to anyone—half of his cooperation was out of respect for Huang Chengyan, the head of the Huang family, and the other half was due to his own child's condition. Only because of these reasons had he agreed to accompany Fei Qian to Luoyang.
Though they hadn't needed Huang Zhong's martial prowess to charge into battle along the way, his presence had saved Fei Qian a great deal of worry. Tasks like setting up camp and managing troops were handled effortlessly, sparing Fei Qian any unnecessary concerns—this alone had been a tremendous help.
Moreover, if the original eight hundred soldiers had still been available, Huang Zhong's presence would have amplified their strength, making one plus one greater than two. But those eight hundred soldiers had followed Yi Ji north to Hebei...
Fei Qian wasn't without schemes regarding those eight hundred soldiers. Ever since leaving Jingxiang, he had pondered how to make use of them. Yet, as they say, man proposes, God disposes—Yuan Shao never even came to Suanzao!
In Fei Qian's original plan, if Yuan Shao had been in Suanzao, there would have been no need to travel further north. With nearly a thousand soldiers mixed among the allied warlords' forces, there might have been opportunities to seize some advantages. But when Fei Qian actually arrived in Suanzao and saw the so-called gentry of the eastern passes—and with Yuan Shao nowhere in sight—he knew his plan for the eight hundred soldiers had failed.
Thus, Fei Qian had no choice but to let Yi Ji take the soldiers separately. Even if he had led those troops to Ye County, met Yuan Shao, and completed his diplomatic mission, control of the eight hundred soldiers would still have shifted to Yi Ji—because Fei Qian no longer held any official position under Liu Biao of Jingxiang.
Most importantly, the round trip would have been fraught with complications, and the time lost was something Fei Qian couldn't afford. So, weighing the options, he gave up the eight hundred soldiers in exchange for more time.
Life is a series of choices, and one can't have it all. Though Fei Qian dearly wished to keep Huang Zhong, he ultimately decided to let him return.
Not only that—for safety's sake, Fei Qian also assigned a squad of ten soldiers to Huang Zhong, ensuring Zhang Zhongjing's safe return to Jingxiang. After all, they couldn't take the main eastern route back this time, and the southeastern road was blocked by Sun Jian's garrison, making passage difficult. The safest option was to first head north, bypass Chenggao, and then cross the river southward.
Of course, this was only relatively safe. In the Hongnong and Henei regions, remnants of the Yellow Turban rebels—the White Wave Bandits—were active. Without an escort, Huang Zhong and Zhang Zhongjing traveling alone would be easy prey. Even if Huang Zhong was formidable, protecting Zhang Zhongjing would leave him constrained. Though ten soldiers weren't many, they could form a small battle array if needed, making it easier to deal with the poorly equipped White Wave Bandits.
Unless absolutely desperate, the White Wave Bandits wouldn't recklessly throw lives away. After weighing gains and losses, they'd usually avoid biting off more than they could chew—so long as Huang Zhong's group didn't provoke them, the bandits wouldn't attack.
These arrangements came as a surprise to Huang Zhong. He had thought being allowed to return early was already generous, but Fei Qian had not only permitted him to escort Zhang Zhongjing but also provided soldiers for their safety.
Huang Zhong clasped his hands and bowed deeply. "Ziyuan's kindness is engraved in my heart!" Huang Zhong wasn't a man of many words, so he could only etch this gratitude into his memory.
He knew full well that without Fei Qian's earlier conversation with Zhang Zhongjing, his own clumsy persuasion would have had next to no chance of convincing the physician to go to Jingxiang—far harder than charging into battle. Moreover, even if Zhang Zhongjing had agreed, Fei Qian could have just assigned a few guards to escort him separately while keeping Huang Zhong behind—a decision that would have been justifiable both publicly and privately.
That Fei Qian had set aside his own safety concerns to let Huang Zhong accompany Zhang Zhongjing was, to Huang Zhong, an immense gesture of goodwill. Though he didn't voice it, his heart swelled with gratitude.
Fei Qian steadied Huang Zhong's arm and said, "Hansheng, be careful on the road." He briefly wondered if he should emulate Liu Bei's famous tearful farewells—but found his tear ducts frustratingly uncooperative.
As he watched Huang Zhong's party disappear into the distance, Fei Qian gained a deeper understanding of Liu Bei's past actions. He stood motionless, lost in thought.
Back then, though Liu Bei bore the title of "Imperial Uncle," most gentry families knew the truth of the matter. It wasn't until Emperor Xian of Han formally added him to the imperial genealogy that his status gained recognition among the Han nobility.
Even so, most aristocratic families still didn't hold high hopes for Liu Bei. Many who served under him eventually left—Xu Shu was far from the only one. Others, like Tian Yu and Taishi Ci, also departed.
On one hand, Liu Bei's willingness to let people go showcased his benevolence. But on the other hand—what else could he have done? Had he forcibly detained them, he might have planted ticking time bombs that would explode at the worst possible moments...
So, it was better to appear magnanimous—at least that way, he gained a reputation.
By the time Huang Zhong's group had traveled a fair distance, he turned back on horseback and saw Fei Qian still standing there, motionless, as if unwilling to part—his gaze fixed on their retreating figures.
Something struck Huang Zhong's heart. He tugged the reins, dismounted, and solemnly bowed toward Fei Qian one last time before remounting and riding off.
*****
T/N: Yang Feng founded a group known as the White Wave Bandits, who were basically his own forces that he traversed the land with.
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