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"Pfft—what the hell, is this section chief trying to be a comedian during a reflection meeting?!"
Inside an apartment on the 26th floor of Fujing Garden, a daughter was laughing out loud in front of the TV.
Her mom next to her couldn't stop laughing either."I swear, that section chief is totally shameless—but so funny~"
"Funny? That's 'cause he's not your boss," said the dad, chuckling but also feeling kind of exasperated."I don't even know if I should laugh or cry."
Last time their medical team went to help out a rural area, there was a big pep talk meeting organized by the leadership.
Just when things were getting all riled up, the leader dropped this line at the end:"This template can be reused!"
Like—what the actual hell?! That was so damn lazy it hurt.
If you'd put in even a tiny bit of effort, it wouldn't have been this ridiculous.
The whole room fell silent.
Sure, the doctors and nurses didn't really care much about motivational speeches anyway—they'd go help people no matter what.
But getting hit with this kind of half-assed attitude? Yeah, that stings.
Back to the stage—once the audience stopped laughing, the show continued.
Mia grabbed Kyle's arm. "What? Drooling over what now?"
Kyle answered like it was the most obvious thing:"Drooling over food, duh~"
Mia snorted, "Please, you're just hungry!"
Kyle puffed up his belly, cigarette in hand, and went on smoothly,"This right here really deepens our understanding of conditioned reflexes~"
"After the, uh, session, everyone was saying happily:Eating good food, drinking good wine, and drooling... all while learning from the spirit of foreign scientists~!"
"Names feel familiar, stories stick better!"
"This kind of learning is vivid, lively, fresh, and practical. You can see it, you can smell it, it's chewy, it's memorable. I can't wait for the next one!"
"BAHAHAHA—I'm losing it. Those lines just keep on coming!"
"'You can see it, you can smell it'—is that how that's used?"
"Damn, this is exactly like real life! People might actually believe it's a legit seminar!"
"Pfft—I thought it was our director talking! I'm dying over here!"
The whole room erupted in laughter. The crowd was practically rolling on the floor.
Nick was clapping so hard his hands went numb, laughing like crazy.
"Brilliant! What a killer bit! That was absolutely genius!"
"He distilled the essence out of all those boring reports—deepened understanding, relatable, engaging, vivid, lively~~"
"Those words alone form a perfect little learning report—it could be a model template!"
"But then—combine that with drooling? The contrast makes it a straight-up comedy bomb!"
"Perfect! Utterly perfect satire!!"
Nick was thrilled, and even Lily couldn't stop laughing.
She never expected Kyle to just suddenly drop a joke like that out of nowhere.And she definitely didn't expect it to hit that hard.
He had already joked about drooling while learning about conditioned reflexes—she'd laughed at that.
But then he took it up a notch, going serious-mode like he was sharing deep reflections—That just made the whole drooling thing even more absurd!
That extra twist pushed the comedy from funny to hilarious.
Matt's face turned cold—he was totally uncomfortable.As the head of the Performing Arts Association, he was the one always giving those kinds of reports.
At that moment, he felt totally called out.
"You've got guts, huh?! I only gave some constructive feedback last time, and now you two—Kyle, Mia—you dare make fun of me publicly?!"
"Alright then, I wanna see how long you can keep this up. I will deal with you sooner or later!"
Meanwhile, the rest of the audience?Totally enjoying themselves. Laughing even harder.
Mia shook her head, "Great, you're all addicted to this now."
Kyle, still puffing out his belly, said:"You think just eating Pavlov is enough? What about Michurin, Newton, Edison, Madame Curie—don't they deserve a good meal too?"
"There are tens of thousands of scientists waiting for us to 'consume'! If you don't eat, how are you supposed to remember them?"
"BAHAHAHA, I'm dead! Eat Newton and Edison?! What is this, a banquet?!"
The audience was howling. This whole idea of turning respected scientists into dinner themes—It was just too ridiculous not to laugh at.
It was totally mismatched.
Especially when it's government-funded banquets using scientific commemoration as a cover—Now that's peak satire.
At home, staff member Noah was slapping his thigh laughing.
His girlfriend looked at him weirdly,"Hey hey hey, sure this skit's funny, but do you have to smack your own leg like that?"
"That excuse for eating and drinking, it's funny—but still not as wild as the one we used last time."
"Oh, you mean when that leader's relatives came to visit, and you had to take them to a hotel?"
"Yup. We said it was to 'enhance our external communication skills,' so we invited his cousin to teach us foreign languages~ HA! No English lessons—just some heavy local dialect!!"
"LOL, that excuse is even more nonsense than learning science!"
The young couple cracked up.
As the new generation, they'd been to college, passed all those English exams, landed decent jobs...
But nope—none of that mattered.They still got told, "You're not good enough."You have to "learn," have to show up, have to drink.
Mia shook her head, "Okay, big shot. So how many scientists have you remembered so far?"
Kyle paused for a second, then waved her off,"Well~ that's hard to say, but definitely a lot, y'know?"
Mia sighed, "So basically none. But hey—one scientist per meal, how many meals have you had?"
Kyle rubbed his chin, "Let's put it this way—We've already eaten our way through the foreign scientists. Now we're starting on the local ones."
Mia was stunned, "The local ones now?!"
"PFFT—eating domestic scientists now? Isn't that kind of... offensive? Like you've got no national pride?"
Nobody expected "scientist consumption" to be split into domestic and foreign categories!
It's like how people started using "爽" (awesome) as a unit for measuring wealth—Totally absurd, but it sticks.
Kyle went on, puffing out his belly again,"Just yesterday, we held a big ceremony at Hilton Hotel to commemorate the birthday of a great medical scientist—Robert!"
Mia quickly grabbed his arm, "Wait, wait—who did you say?"
Kyle gave her a once-over, "Robert, of course!"
Mia's eyes went wide, "Robert? But he's still alive! He's totally healthy!"
Kyle shrugged helplessly, "Exactly. Gotta eat the living ones now—We already had the dead ones twice over!"
"LOL! Ate them twice already?! I can't!"
Lily burst into laughter, and even Nick didn't expect this final stretch of jokes to hit so fast.
The audience was in absolute stitches from the nonstop punchlines.Everyone completely relaxed, just having a blast.
Mia snapped, "Hmph! If you end up eating all the living ones too—who's left?"
Kyle scratched his head, then his eyes lit up."No problem—we'll just start eating people from your arts and culture circle!"
Mia gasped and backed up, "You're gonna eat me?!"
Kyle grinned, "Just means writing one more report, that's all~"
Mia was furious, "People like you, throwing public money around on feasts and banquets—you should be fired!"
Kyle glared back, "Why should I be fired?! I'm feeding people, entertaining people! Why should I go?!"
Mia scoffed, "Oh, so all that feeding was just to keep your position safe, huh? Ever think about the actual public?"
Kyle looked miserable,"It's all anonymous voting now. I don't wanna make enemies, so I have to wine and dine everyone!"
"If they don't eat my food, they won't vote for me. No votes means no position. No leadership role for me... colon!!"
Mia rolled her eyes,"Get outta here with your colon! Still using official lingo even when you're finished!"
"Classic corrupt, useless official—amazing!"
The audience erupted in applause. Watching Kyle and Mia argue felt like seeing a colleague finally stand up to an arrogant boss—Both satisfying and hilarious.
They were happy. They were laughing. It came straight from the heart.
"....."