Lonnie groaned, sitting up. The Jujutsu manga he had read to fall asleep slipped from the bed and onto the floor. He rubbed his eyes, hearing something dig around in his closet. He sat up with a start, befuddled to see his mother, Mrs. Alexander, tossing clothes about like a mad woman.
"Mamma?" Lonnie yawned, stretching. "What...What are you doing?"
"Have you forgotten, Lonnie?" Mrs. Alexander said, inspecting his swim trunks. "You have to go to school today. "
Lonnie blinked, wiping the spittle from his mouth. Then his pupils widened. Whipping off the cover, he practically flew off the bed. His mother, unbothered, ducked the trunks into his swim bag, an indication for later.
He landed, knees bent before looking around frantically. Standing, he began to run toward the bedroom door—
His foot caught on the slippery pages of Jujutsu Kaizen's Chapter 149, hitting the ground with a loud thud.
"Shit!" He cursed, groaning as he struggled to his feet.
"Language Lonnie," she murmured, folding his shirt.
Lonnie shook off the pain, and rushed for the door. Opening it, he's greeted with a splash of cold water. He jumped back, his face twisted into a frown. Eliana, his sister, stood there, stunned. Mouth open in shock, her hand lifted to her mouth and her other hand guiltily held the bucket.
"Good morning, Eliana," Lonnie grumbled, wiping the water from his face.
"G-Good morning," she stammered, too stunned to speak.
-
At the no-go table in the cafeteria, Trevor snorted in response to what Lonnie told them.
"Your sister drenched your ass?" Trevor laughed, lips upturned into a smile.
Lonnie sniffed, wiping at his runny nose with his sleeve. "Of course you find this shit funny," Lonnie snapped. He took his plastic bowl and utensils. He tied a plaid bib around his throat. "It's not."
Felix bit into his tuna and pickles sandwich, eyes flickering between the two.
Scott shrugged. "Yeah...no. That's pretty funny."
"Worse friends ever," Lonnie murmured. He opened his bowl and stabbed the lasagna with his golden fork. He rested his chin on his palm. "If only my Mamma can be as good a cook as she bakes."
"She can't bake?" Carl asked, head tilted to the side.
"Can't bake? She shouldn't be near a stove," Lonnie said, shuddering. "But we can't say it's bad cause she'll cry."
He funneled the lasagna into his mouth, chewing. "But she does make excellent quilts," he said, muffled. "I could get you one."
"She can make one with a skull on it?" Felix asked, lowering his sandwich. "With haunting red eyes?"
Lonnie flashed him an awkward smile. Felix raised his sandwich to his mouth, taking another bite.
"Damn, guess that's a no," Trevor snorted.
Just then, the air shifted as the cafeteria doors flung open. The DOLLS - Diane, Olivia, Lydia, Laura, and Samantha - sashayed through the doorway. The Uncanny squad turned around, eyebrows arched.
Lonnie, spotting Diane, marveled with dreamy eyes. His heart thumped in his chest, saliva drooled from his mouth. His Zelda, his Maki, his Ladybug, his [insert female character he really like] was here.
He beamed his sultriest smile at her, but it made him look like Jerry Smith.
"Hello," he grinned. Diane glanced over at him. He wiggled his eyebrows, and she stopped. She spun on her heel, walking over to him. Lonnie flashed a surprised face at the boys, before turning back to Diane.
"Hey," he winked flirtatiously.
"I was thinking," he smiled. "You, me...out of here."
Diane snorted, bending over and shoving her face into his. "More like you, me, never," she smirked, tapping his nose. She straightened, tossing back her blonde hair then walked away.
Lonnie touched his nose shakily. He rubbed it, sinking low into his bench.
"Bro," Trevor glanced him worriedly. "The hell you sighing about? She just rejected you, man."
"She touched...my nose," he said dreamingly.
Trevor face-palmed as Scott chuckled.
"Simp," Felix teased, earning an elbow from Carl. "That's not a bad thing," Carl flashed him a glare. He turned to Lonnie, giving the boy a thumbs up.
Lonnie returned the gesture, before swooning to the fact Diane touched his face, albeit in a demeaning way.
Diane joined her friends at the table. She sat down, noticing they were all staring at her. "What?"
"Nothing," Olivia said, as the girls took out their lunch in unison. Diane glared before following suit.
She opened her lunch box, then noticed the girls staring again. They quickly looked away, snapping their chopsticks. Diane grabbed hers, snapping it apart, her brows furrowed in worry.
The hell was their problem? What has she done wrong?
-
The door slammed shut as Lonnie entered. "Buonasera," he said, taking off his shoes. He entered the living room, throwing his bookbag onto the couch. Giovanni barely flinched as the bag landed near him.
Lonnie pressed on, unaware of the Lightning McQueen toy on the wooden floor. His baby brother, Antonio, sat on the floor, stuffing a Lego into his mouth.
Lonnie frowned, glancing at his older brother. Why was nobody watching this gremlin of a baby?
Like punishment from the universe, Lonnie stepped on the car. It gave away, pushing off from his feet due to his smelly socks. Lonnie yelped as he slid, hitting the ground on his back. He groaned, lucky that he didn't hit his head.
"Antonio..." he groaned. The baby crawled over, laughing still. Lonnie glared at him. Antonio was awful.
But not as bad as Cecelia.
He shuddered at the memory.
That evil daughter of an aunt will never be forgiven, no matter how many stupid goat memes she sends.
He doesn't get how she keeps sending those, even after he's blocked her five times.
Footsteps reverberated into his skin as Mr. Alexander rushed over. He offered his hand, which Lonnie grabbed. He gently hoisted his son up to his feet. "You okay?" He asked him, worried. "You gave me quite a fright, figlio."
"And who are you scare of?" Nonna Guila asked, approaching him. Lonnie cheered, running into her open arms. The old woman embraced her grandson, kissing his forehead.
"Look at you," she smiled, releasing him. . "Your mother's barely feeding you I see."
"Don't be ridiculous," Bubba Rebecca said, approaching the two. Lonnie squealed like a mouse, before running toward his maternal grandmother. Rebecca rocked him back and forth, as Nonna rolled her eyes.
"My sweet, darling boy," Bubba Rebecca said, releasing him. "You look well feed."
"If that's well feed," Nonna snorted. "I'm scared what starving looks like to you."
"Not now, Madre," Mrs. Alexander shouted from the kitchen. "You two can fight later."
"Other than I questioning why my sweet Vittoria married your...son," Nonna Guila flashed a look, earning a glare from Bubba Rebecca. "I'm sure you dying to know why we're here," she smiled.
Lonnie turned to Nonna, nodding awkwardly. "I was totally gonna asked that...after dinner."
"They're not cooking," Mrs. Alexander shouted from kitchen.
"Drats!" Lonnie and Eliana said in unison, the latter happening to be walking past.
"We're going to the water park, nipote!" Nonna Guila clapped. Bubba Rebecca nodded. She grabbed her grandson's shoulders gently, and said, "Poseidon's Oasis, you remember?"
Flashes of crying, taunting laughter, and cowering in the corner made Lonnie stare ahead. He blinked, then a grin slowly spread across his face.
"Yes?" he asked, worried.
"We're going there," Nonna Guila said, snapping her fingers. "With one of your cousins."
Lonnie blinked. "My cousin? Joel?"
"No," Nonna smiled. "The one you went to Oasis with last time."
Lonnie squinted, thinking hard. Numerous cousins flooded his mind: David, Elijah, Sarai.
But none matched the description Nonna alluded to.
Wait...
Last time?
Dread filled Lonnie's body. His face paled. His mouth fell open in shock. Eliana walked back toward the two, her eyes flickering between Lonnie, and her grandmothers.
No...
Not her.
Please God.
"Cecelia?" Lonnie said, horrified.
Eliana choked on air. Giovanni stiffened at the mention of the name. Antonio, the poor baby, broke down and began to cry bitterly, great tears rolled down his cheeks. Lonnie turned to his infant brother. He pointed at him.
"He's got the right reaction," Lonnie said grimly.
"Lonnie, did you make your brother cry?" Mrs. Alexander's voice filled the tension-filled room.
Lonnie shook his head Nonna before running toward the stairs. The thudding of his feet filled the living room. Eliana exchanged looks with Nonna, as if silently saying: you messed up.
-
Lonnie hunched over, glowering at the screen. His X-box struggling to keep up with its owner's rage. "It's just one cousin," Lonnie repeated, mockingly, firing into the air. "What's the big deal? Everything!"
"Stop firing into the air, Lonnie," Trevor hissed into the mic. "You're exposing our position."
"Nonna doesn't understand, Cecelia isn't someone I should forgive," Lonnie said, huffing. "Remember when I told you guys about the water Jail?"
"Yeah?" Felix hummed, no-scooping an unsuspecting player.
"She put me there," Lonnie revealed.
"Oh," the boys said in unison.
"She even brings it up every Hanukah," Lonnie gritted his teeth angrily. "That's why I threw that menorah at her two years ago."
"Woah," Trevor exclaimed, eyes wide. "What the hell?" Scott murmured. Carl's cough echoed in the sudden silence.
"That escalated quickly," Felix muttered.
"What?" Lonnie grimaced, confused.
"Lonnie, you can't claim victimhood," Scott explained, "then casually admit you threw a menorah at her."
"Because she's evil," Lonnie protested. "Doesn't matter, I missed and hit Uncle Giorgio in the face. That's why he wears an eyepatch....and barely comes to hanukkah anymore."
"Hmm," Trevor sighed, sarcastically. "I wonder why..."
"Listen Lonnie," Scott said, watching his character follow Carl's. "You gotta tolerate it, man."
"I don't want to tolerate it," Lonnie pouted. "I want to be rid of her."
"Well you had your chance two years ago," Trevor said. "But God had other plans."
"Yeah," Felix chuckled on the voice chat. "Maybe if you were a better shot..."
Laughter filled the voice chat. Poor Lonnie's round cheeks turned a bright red. "Worst friends ever," he murmured, his growing smile betraying his true feelings.
But Scott was right, he had to deal with it.
For now...
-
It was a brilliant Sunday morning. And it was utter chaos.
Lonnie calmly descended the steps, curly hair covered with a swim cap. He wore a blue swim shirt with raglan long sleeves. He adjusted his swim trunks, his slippers slapped against the steps as his family ran about like frantic dogs. Antonio, asleep on the chair, began to roll.
Lonnie sprinted over, grabbing the baby just before he rolled off. He rocked him, backing away. She tore through the cushions, mumbling, "Where are they?"
Mr. Alexander walked up to her. "You found my glasses yet?"
"No. Sorry, honey," she said. "Did you find my shades?"
"No," he huffed, adjusting the shades atop his head. Eliana approached, holding her notebook.
"Mom," she said, shoving the open book into her face. "Is my homework legible? The teacher said it isn't."
Mrs. Alexander, pulling down her husband's spectacles onto her nose. She squinted at it, reading silently. "Looks legible to me," she said, sliding the glasses back on her head. "Honey, we're busy looking for my shades and her father's glasses, have you seen them?"
Eliana looked between them, stunned. She shrugged. "Nope."
The couple groaned, parting away as Eliana chuckled to her parents' obliviousness.
Lonnie exited the house, and sprinted for the SUV. He opened the car door, and placed little Antonio into his car seat. He strapped him in, then climbed in, careful to avoid the car seat.
"Ciao, Lonno," Cecelia's voice reached his ears. His head snapped up, his pupils shrunken in fear.
"Cece?" he murmured, glaring. "How'd you get in the car?"
"That's my little secret," she grinned. "Now come in the back."
"No," Lonnie snapped, letting out a scoff. "Not with you."
"Lonnie please," Nonna said, shifting her chair. Lonnie froze, startled. "Not so loud..." Nonna Guila muttered, before her snores filled the car.
Cecelia giggled at Lonnie's plight. Lonnie glared before sitting down. "Just stay there, and don't do anything," he pointed at her. Nonna's hand tapped his thigh lightly.
"Go sit in the back," Nonna murmured.
"But Nonna," Lonnie protested. "That's where Cece is."
"Go sit..." she said, trailing off. Her snores once again filled the empty space. Lonnie groaned, climbing over the back seat and plopping onto the third-row seat. The sound of a whoopee cushion filled the car.
Lonnie, face flushed in embarrassment, turned to Cecelia with unbridled rage. Cecelia stopped laughing, the smile plastered on her face. Lonnie murmured, "No Uncle Giorgio to save you this time."
He lunged for her neck, but Cecelia grabbed his wrist, laughing. Pressed against the window, the two struggled, but she gained the upper hand. Her feet pressed against his chest, she kicked him back on his side. Lonnie adjusted his goggles, eyes burning with hatred. Cecelia brushed back her black hair.
She winked, "Grow a sense of humor, little Cous."
"Don't call me little cous," Lonnie spat, sinking into his chair with a bitter pout. "Or Lonno. You can only speak through Antonio, but he's asleep."
The baby's cooing came as a reply. Cecelia arched her eyebrow, mouth open in a smile.
"He's asleep in spirit," Lonnie murmured.