Everything is black and white.
The bed and it's covers, the small desk on one side of the room, the walls, the curtains, the chair the wardrobe.
Everything.
It make my head spin, my thoughts going ´round and ´round because I actually know, that it isn't supposed to be black and white.
I know that the walls of my room are actually dark blue.
I painted them myself long ago.
So why are they black now?
There did all the color go?
Then did I become colorblind?
I don't know.
I can't remember anymore.
In front of me lays a small board.
It calms me.
It's black, but unlike the other things it doesn't throw my mind into chaos because I know it's supposed to be that color.
On the board a checkered pattern has been drawn.
With white chalk, the lines had been drawn carefully and perfectly.
Only the middle part of the pattern has been fully colored white.
The white boxes line up neatly into a pattern.
A heart.
A snowwhite heart in the middle of the black board created through countless small boxes lined up neatly.
She drew it form me.
It's the only thing keeping me stable.
The prove of her love, one thing bringing me through another day.
The black board with the white chalk.
The one thing I know has the right color despite having turned colorblind.
Outside, people pass by the window.
I look out.
Everything is black and white.
No more colors are left.
Once upon a time every person had theier own color in my eyes, there existed as many colors as people but now?
Everyone is only black and white.
No more colors left.
As they pass by they remind me of my life.
I don't participate anymore.
I just watch as it passes by.
My mind spins again.
Why?
I tried.
My gaze wanders.
Falls on my arms.
My mind screams.
I can't understand.
Your words echo in my head.
I want to hold your hand again.
I really want to.
But I can't.
The shadows in my eyes let your light die.
I look around once more.
Black walls.
Wrong color.
The echo of your words fades.
Don't fade!
I need it!
Come back!
I pray.
No response.
The silence comes back.
Black and white and silence.
It's wrong.
Everything is wrong.
I don't want to be alone.
But I can't mix with people anymore.
Not then I'm colorblind.
Only your color I remember.
It stays in my broken heart.
I look back down on the board.
It calms my mind.
Everything is how it's supposed to be.
White chalk.
And a black board.