"An Uchiha… who can't use the Sharingan?"
Third Hokage leaned back in his chair, lost in thought.
The next day, within the Uchiha compound…
"Where's Satoru nii-san?"
Sasuke pushed open the door to his brother's room, only to find it empty.
"…Don't tell me he ran away just because school starts today."
Sasuke frowned, then narrowed his eyes. Did he sneak off to that dim sum shop on South Street again?
He clicked his tongue in annoyance.
Meanwhile, Satoru wasn't stuffing his face with snacks—at least, not yet. He was crouched in front of something far more interesting: the Uchiha clan's ancient stone tablet, tucked away within the Naka Shrine.
Huh. So this is that famous Black Zetsu-forged propaganda piece?
Satoru had come to Naka Shrine just to kill time, only to stumble across this historical scam in broad daylight. His six-eyes perception allowed him to see more than he should, and wow, was it a mess.
This tablet was originally left behind by the Sage of Six Paths, meant as a guide for Indra's reincarnations so they wouldn't keep messing up their lives. But then Black Zetsu—Kaguya's little grease goblin—came along and altered the contents to fuel Uchiha's resentment against the Senju.
The result? Centuries of tragedy. Well played, Zetsu. Well played.
Itachi, Sasuke, Fugaku, Obito—all of them had read this thing at some point, thinking they were uncovering deep secrets when, in reality, they were just being fed Zetsu's revisionist history.
Satoru cracked his knuckles, grinning.
Well, two can play at that game.
With a flick of his fingers and a bit of chakra manipulation, he altered the contents of the tablet once again.
"Hmm… should I go for something inspiring? Or totally ridiculous?"
His smirk widened.
"Love Uchiha?"
"Warrior of Love Uchiha?"
"Ahh, I wonder which poor soul will discover this first?"
Satisfied with his work, Satoru set the tablet back in place and dusted off his hands.
Then, the inevitable happened.
"SATORU NII-SAN!"
A very familiar voice rang out.
Oh, come on.
He winced. Couldn't he get just one peaceful morning? Yesterday's "fatherly discipline" had been enough of a trial. Third Hokage had also given him a headache with the whole academy enrollment thing.
Now, Sasuke was coming to drag him off to school.
Truly, the hardships never end.
With a dramatic sigh, he strolled out of the shrine to meet his doom.
"Yo, Sasuke!" Satoru greeted, grinning like he hadn't just tampered with a priceless clan artifact.
"What's up? Did you miss your brother?"
Sasuke, ever unimpressed, shot him a flat look.
"Father told you not to forget about your academy enrollment today."
"…"
Satoru blinked.
Wow. No preamble, no nonsense. Just straight-up cold, hard facts.
"My little brother is growing up," he lamented dramatically. "So mature, so independent… no longer clinging to his dear, sweet brother—"
Sasuke was already walking away.
"Tragic," Satoru sighed.
Still, no point in delaying the inevitable. He gathered his things, making sure to pack his essentials.
It wasn't like he had a choice. The moment Third Hokage and his father decided to shove him into Konoha's educational system, his fate was sealed.
He just hoped they were mentally prepared for whatever happened next.
After all, if they thought sending him to school was a good idea…
They only had themselves to blame for the consequences.