Something was wrong.
Sasuke's face was frozen in a mixture of pity and suppressed laughter.
That wasn't a good sign.
A slow, creeping sense of dread crawled up my spine. The kind you get when you realize you've made a critical error, but your brain hasn't processed what it is yet.
I reined in my smirk, my muscles stiffening as I turned my head.
Six Eyes had already told me exactly who was standing there.
Oh, crap.
I really should've paid more attention.
Uchiha Itachi's expression was unreadable, but his voice carried the weight of an impending judgment.
"Uchiha Satoru."
Oh, he was using my full name. Never a good sign.
"You're quite something."
Oh no.
"Spoiling Sasuke now, are we?"
Oh no, no.
"Seems you have way too much free time on your hands."
Abort. Abort.
"I'll propose to Father that we increase your training regimen."
Wait.
That's it?
I blinked, a spark of hope lighting up in my heart. Just extra training? No lectures? No deep, philosophical guilt-trips?
This is practically a slap on the wrist!
Before I could properly rejoice, Sasuke muttered beside me, his tone full of barely-contained exasperation.
"Second brother never trains. Extra training is pointless."
Excuse you?
That is a baseless accusation. I absolutely train.
…Technically.
I mean, why go through tedious drills when I can analyze and copy a technique with a glance? Six Eyes lets me break down ninjutsu down to its barest fundamentals and optimize them for efficiency.
But Genjutsu? Yeah, my Six Eyes weren't exactly built for that. And Taijutsu? Let's just say I wasn't one for close-quarters brawling.
Still, Sasuke didn't have to call me out like that.
Itachi, of course, didn't miss a beat.
"Eating too many sweets is bad for your teeth. I asked Mother to put away the limited-edition dango you sent home."
My stomach dropped.
"…What?"
"You can have them back when you complete your training."
Oh, you son of a—
I didn't hear anything else after that.
The only thing that mattered was that my precious, limited-edition, deluxe dango had been confiscated.
This was an act of war.
I was about to protest when Itachi smoothly turned his attention to Sasuke.
"Sasuke, my reaction speed has dulled. I didn't even notice when I approached you."
Oh no.
"Double your physical training."
Oh no, no.
Sasuke paled, but nodded with an obedient, if slightly mournful, "Yes, big brother."
I, meanwhile, was still reeling from the loss of my dango.
My suffering, however, was about to get company.
"Big brother! Big brother!"
A loud, cheerful voice echoed down the street.
A blur of yellow shot toward us like a wayward missile.
I blinked.
Ah.
Naruto.
Itachi, Sasuke, and—oh, interesting—even Kakashi, who had been stealthily observing from the shadows, all turned their attention to the incoming ball of energy.
Kakashi's presence wasn't a surprise. He'd been tailing me ever since I talked to Naruto this morning.
Probably sent by the Third Hokage. I wasn't sure if it was paranoia or political caution, but it was clear that the old man wasn't thrilled about an Uchiha getting chummy with the village jinchūriki.
Not that I cared.
"Yo, if it isn't Naruto."
Naruto skidded to a stop in front of me, beaming.
"Big brother, we meet again!" He paused, tilting his head. "Hey, you never told me your name."
"Satoru," I replied easily. "Uchiha Satoru. And the guy next to me is Uchiha Itachi."
I deliberately left Sasuke out.
Predictably, the boy in question immediately bristled.
"Second brother, you forgot me again!"
I glanced down at him, feigning confusion. "Huh? There's someone else here?"
Sasuke's glare intensified.
"Altitude's too low to notice."
A beat of silence.
Naruto, bless his soul, looked thoroughly baffled. "Altitude?"
"It's the height of an object above sea level," I explained, adopting my best 'helpful mentor' tone. "You can think of it as relative height."
I gestured dramatically between Sasuke and Itachi.
Itachi was calm, unreadable as always.
Sasuke, however, looked ready to breathe fire.
Naruto, meanwhile, suddenly brightened with realization.
"Oh! So you mean the guy next to you is just short!"
I swear, I almost shed a tear.
"Exactly!" I clapped Naruto on the shoulder, proud of my little student.
Sasuke, however, was another story.
His face darkened like a thundercloud, eyes burning with indignation.
"Who are you calling short, you idiot?!"
Naruto blinked at him, utterly unfazed. "Uh, you? You're the only other guy here."
"And I'm not 'that guy!' My name is Uchiha Sasuke!"
Oh, this was gold.
I crossed my arms, grinning as I watched them squabble.
This was the start of a beautiful friendship.
—
(A/N: Don't Forget To Add In Your Collection And Support via Powerstone)