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Perhaps in the future, the entries in Zabuza's little notebook might read something like this:
[I was once a powerful shinobi of the Hidden Mist. Back then, I was utterly dominated by two freshly graduated genin from Konoha. Later, during the Fourth Great Ninja War, Uchiha Madara was resurrected to massacre countless shinobi, and those same two genin happened to pass by and beat him down as well. Even later, when the Sage of Six Paths' mother descended to destroy the world, these two genin showed up again and subdued her too. After comparing these events, I've come to realize that I'm still quite strong.]
Postscript:
[After chatting with Kakashi, I discovered that these two genin never even passed the Chunin Exams. Konoha is terrifying.]
---
As Naruto watched Zabuza and Haku disappear into the distance, he silently recited a line in his heart: Picking chrysanthemums beneath the eastern fence, I gaze leisurely at the southern mountain.
Naruto firmly believed that the two would become incredibly strong in the future.
This was, after all, a world where the more "shonen-ai vibes" you had, the stronger you became.
Take Asura and Indra, for example. They were brothers and shared an undeniable bond, which made them overwhelmingly powerful.
Then there was Hashirama and Madara. To avoid suspicion, Hashirama married and had children, but to compensate his lifelong friend, he founded Konoha so that an entire village could bear witness to their deep connection.
And let's not forget Gai and Kakashi, childhood friends who bathed together in the same tub, comparing sizes to determine who would be the seme and who the uke. Although Kakashi later developed feelings for Uchiha Obito, Gai didn't mind. As a result, one of them could fight anyone to a draw (Kakashi), while the other could take anyone down with him in a mutual kill (Gai).
Naruto had briefly wondered what would happen if these two ever fought each other, but then he realized that a mutual kill was essentially just another form of a draw. With that thought, he felt at peace.
As for Zabuza and Haku, they were already together. If their relationship continued to grow, Naruto was certain they'd become immensely powerful. He deeply believed it.
But Naruto himself? He wasn't into that kind of thing—he had Hinata!
Just as Naruto was mentally humming the theme of Brokeback Mountain, he suddenly felt a sweetness in his throat. Before he could react, a torrent of blood erupted from his mouth, splattering onto the ground. The amount was staggering—enough to fill four overnight pads.
The others, who had been gazing off into the distance lost in thought, were stunned. How could someone suddenly start vomiting blood out of nowhere?
Earlier, Naruto had taken a direct hit from Zabuza's massive sword, shattering the stone pavement beneath his feet. The force of the impact must have been immense. Then, he was slammed onto the ground, causing internal damage. Now, aside from his kidneys, every organ in his body screamed in pain.
At least his kidneys were fine. That was a relief.
Summoning a sofa, Naruto slumped onto it sideways, his complexion pale and weary.
He had held back the urge to vomit earlier, relying purely on sheer willpower. But now that the adrenaline had faded, every bone, muscle, and organ throbbed with agony.
"Are you alright?" Sasuke asked, his face etched with concern. He had never seen Naruto look so weak before. Even when exhausted, Naruto always seemed invincible. This sudden vulnerability left Sasuke feeling uneasy.
"Naruto, are you okay?" Sakura chimed in, her voice trembling with worry. Inwardly, she berated herself for being useless. She couldn't help during the battle, and now she couldn't even assist her injured teammate. Her inner personality began slamming her head against a wall in frustration.
Naruto didn't respond. Instead, he gave them both a look that said, "Figure it out yourselves." Talking would only make the pain worse.
Kakashi didn't ask any questions. Instead, he approached Naruto and performed an unknown jutsu to examine his condition. Kakashi knew a lot of techniques—second only to the Third Hokage in all of Konoha.
"His heart, liver, spleen, lungs, and kidneys are all damaged. He'll need some time to rest," Kakashi announced. He was almost speechless at Naruto's resilience. How had the boy managed to endure such injuries for so long?
"My kidneys are fine!" Naruto protested weakly. This was a matter of utmost importance; he couldn't stay silent.
If word got out, how would he ever face people again?
It was bad enough that the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki nearly got mauled by a dog, but to also have his kidneys damaged in battle? Unthinkable.
The others exchanged awkward glances. Your heart is damaged, and you're only worried about your kidneys?
Yes, Naruto cared deeply about his kidneys. After all, he had a beautiful wife waiting for him.
Thinking about it further, Naruto decided that this injustice couldn't go unrecorded. Ignoring the pain, he crawled over to the pool of blood he had just vomited and pulled out a piece of paper and a chicken feather.
No dyes this time—he'd use his own blood.
True Blood Feud!
May ××, Year 60 of Konoha
Today, while fighting Zabuza the Demon alongside Sasuke, Kakashi engaged an Ice Release-wielding youth who managed to escape. During the interference in our battle, my kidneys were severely damaged.
This grudge—I hereby record it.
—Uzumaki Naruto
Satisfied, Naruto crawled back onto the sofa and lay there motionless.
Sasuke and Sakura stared in disbelief.
Kakashi rolled his dead-fish eyes. How was this his fault? Zabuza had been determined to intervene no matter what. Even if Naruto hadn't blocked the attack, he still would've been slammed into the ground. And why did Naruto only care about his kidneys? Did he not realize the severity of his other injuries?
Ah, but single men like Kakashi wouldn't understand the importance of healthy kidneys.
There was nothing Kakashi could do about it. After all, Naruto was the orphaned disciple of his late sensei and his wife. Besides, Kakashi had no idea that Naruto intended to show these records to his parents someday.
Kakashi, prepare to die, Naruto thought venomously. When Kushina saw that her husband's disciple had failed to protect their son's kidneys—especially since Naruto's ability to carry on the Uzumaki lineage was now in question—she'd break both of Kakashi's legs. And if Naruto wrote it, it was bound to happen.
Once his body recovered slightly, Naruto activated a teleportation portal and allowed Kakashi to carry him back to Tazuna's house to recuperate.
Initially, Sasuke had offered to carry him, but Naruto refused. He didn't need to engage in bromance to get stronger—he had his cheat codes!
As for Sakura, she was a friend's wife.
A friend's wife should not be trifled with.
Besides, he was afraid it would hurt too much.
Naruto was grateful to Kakashi for carrying him, but the grudge was recorded, and there was no going back now.
While Naruto began his recovery, the others continued with the mission.
Lying on the tatami mat, Naruto couldn't help but feel something was off.
Wasn't this supposed to be Kakashi's role? Why was he the one lying here instead?
Had his mockery of Sasuke three days ago finally come back to bite him?
Indeed, karma was a merciless cycle. No one escaped its grasp.
Bored out of his mind, Naruto retreated to his mental space to play chess with a "casual acquaintance."
Not exactly a surface-level friend…
That might be overstating things.
Let's call it a casual friendship.
And Naruto? He was just Mr. Uzumaki, an ordinary villager.
In the first game, distracted by his injuries and unable to focus, Naruto lost.
"You brat, you're really pathetic. Some random trash-tier demon got you this badly injured?" the Nine-Tails sneered mockingly.
Screw you, Kurama! Naruto fumed internally. I want to reach Shadow Clone God tier by age three, Super Shadow Clone God tier by five, and crush Kaguya by eight! Go ahead and fund my cheat codes, why don't you?
And don't forget—the fish skewers and cola you're munching on right now are thanks to my cheat codes! You don't even have pants, yet you're biting the hand that feeds you? Even if you did have pants, you're still stuffing your face! Clearly, you're nothing but a superficial friend.
Defeated in chess, mocked by the Nine-Tails, and forced to endure his teammates taking turns feeding him, Naruto eventually passed the food along to Kurama. Time dragged on slowly.
Three days later, Naruto leapt to his feet, declaring triumphantly that his revival token had finally arrived.
Kakashi, who had been watching Naruto feign near-death for the past three days, was now dumbfounded as the boy hoisted several steel beams meant for bridge construction and dragged them off to an open field.
Kakashi sighed deeply.
[What on earth did my sensei shoot into that woman?]
Kakashi had examined Naruto's injuries thoroughly. For a normal person, two months of bed rest would have been the bare minimum. Yet here Naruto was, fully recovered in just three days.
There was simply no competing with him. No winning. All Kakashi could do was try his best.
One month later, the bridge was completed, and the team teleported away after finishing their mission.
Gato had never shown up throughout the entire ordeal. Coupled with the fact that Zabuza's massive cleaver sword had regenerated after three days, Naruto understood.
Zabuza couldn't kill the mission client, but his subordinates weren't part of the contract.
Without his henchmen, Gato was like a tiger without teeth—harmless.
As for what happened to him afterward, Naruto didn't care.
Gato had money, and Hidan loved money.
Of course, on the surface, Hidan still adhered to the code of the shinobi.
"Hey, you—yeah, you. Head to the underground black market and post a bounty for Gato."
Hidan sensed that Konan had been asking for money more frequently lately. Without some extra income, he'd soon be broke.
He understood the principle: no windfall, no fortune.
And besides…
Pain had already declared, "Forget ninja ethics—we're a terrorist organization, for heaven's sake. Hurry up and make some money. Nan needs it."