As expected, after a brief nap inside the coffin, Minato made his way to Kadoya's house. Without knocking, he opened the door and walked in like he owned the place.
"Kadoya, there's something I need to ask-"
He paused mid-step.
Both Kadoya and Nobu turned to look at him. Kadoya was holding a large wok in one hand and a long kitchen knife in the other. Before him stood a headless, skinned chicken, somehow still alive, balancing upright on its slick, flesh-exposed legs.
Minato: "..."
Kadoya: "..."
Nobunaga: "..."
"…What the hell?" Minato muttered just as the undead chicken bolted toward him.
"Close the door!" Kadoya shouted.
Acting on instinct, Minato slammed the door shut, catching the chicken squarely between the frame. It flailed violently, but couldn't break free.
"Well… that's one way to catch it," Nobu said calmly, already settling back down on her cushion. She leaned her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand like this was nothing new.
Minato cautiously reopened the door just enough to yank the chicken out by its legs. It squirmed in his grasp. What stunned him wasn't just that it was still alive, it was that the entire inside had been hollowed out. No organs or blood. Just bone and muscle. Yet here it was, fighting for its unholy life.
"What is this?" he asked in disbelief.
"It's just a chicken," Kadoya said casually, taking it from Minato's hands and tossing it into a large boiling pot. He slammed the lid down and, this time, slapped a sealing tag across the top.
"I've been experimenting with sealing the soul."
"Sealing the Soul? Fūinjutsu could do that?" Minato asks, sitting down at the table opposite Nobu.
"Yes, the Uzumaki's Fūinjutsu is really powerful. There is even a Fūinjutsu that targets the soul too, though the cost of one's own life is a bit... expensive." Kadoya replied, wiping his hands on a towel, referring to the Dead Demon Consuming Seal.
Minato didn't respond immediately. He just nodded slowly, absorbing the information while the chicken thrashed inside the sealed pot like some culinary horror show.
As the Clan Head of the Uzumaki, Kadoya, of course, knows about this forbidden Jutsu, capable of sealing away and splitting one soul, but the price is one's own life, unless you know how to avoid the Shinigami's blade like the reliable Snake Uncle in the Fourth Shinobi War.
From what he has studied, this Jutsu is a rule-based technique; once cast, the victim's ninjutsu is canceled, and they can't cast any ninjutsu while being targeted. A very powerful jutsu, since its power is equal to the user's strength.
This is similar to his Domain Expansion: Slashed Dream Cries in Red, or One Night at the Port, which also employs a rule-based technique. It creates a barrier that forms into a dimension with its own set of rules imposed from within.
The only way to destroy the innate domain is by either waiting for the domain duration to end, taking down the caster, or creating another innate domain to counteract it.
The three sat around the table, a large pot of steaming chicken soup placed at its center. The aroma of herbs and spices filled the air, mingling with the quiet clinking of chopsticks and bowls.
"Mmm… this is really good," Nobu said with a small smile, savoring the warmth of the broth. She sat comfortably beside Kadoya, enjoying the meal.
Minato slurped a spoonful, then murmured, "So… that's the cost of the Dead Demon Consuming Seal…"
He bit into a soft carrot, eyes slightly narrowed in thought.
"Yeah," Kadoya replied, casually chewing on a piece of chicken. "I'm working on a simpler version. Something without the whole 'lose your soul and die' drawback, of course."
From what Kadoya knew, during the Fourth Shinobi War, many shinobi were brought back thanks to Edo Tensei used by Kabuto, one of Orochimaru's students, not the red Kabuto who walks on the road of providence.
Edo Tensei only worked when there was a soul or body to revive. If he could make something similar, those Edo Tensei puppets would be nothing more than an inconvenience that could be easily dealt with.
"I see," Minato nodded, pouring himself another bowl of soup before continuing his meal.
Kushina's cooking skills were... a work in progress. About three out of five times, the food ended up overcooked, burnt, or questionably raw.
Thanks to being fed Tiamama's cooking, Minato has developed an iron stomach to handle Kushina's culinary experiments without a trip to the hospital.
Still, if he has to choose between Kadoya's or Kushina's cooking, the food his brother makes is still the best.
As for the chicken from earlier… Kadoya had actually separated a large fragment of someone's soul using the power of the Millennium Ring. A Root member had tried sneaking into his house not long ago, so Kadoya simply tore out a part of their soul, handed the body over for the Uchiha to dispose of, and sealed that fragment inside a skinned chicken for experimentation.
He just didn't expect the chicken to get up, run around like a person, and try to escape its fate of being boiled alive.
Minato swallowed another spoonful, then asked casually, "Say, do you have a way to prevent the Third Hokage from spying on you?"
Kadoya glanced up with a sly grin. "Oh? Did the old man try to peep on you while you were bathing?"
Minato: "..."
"Relax. His Crystal Ball Jutsu only works within the village's range," Kadoya added, still grinning. "Besides, the Uchiha Clan Land is protected by a barrier seal. He can't use it to peek in here."
Because of this seal, the Third Hokage couldn't monitor the Uchiha from within their Clan Land. The limit of the Crystal Ball Jutsu is unclear; to use it, the user must know the chakra signature of their target before they can even start peeping.
"I see… that's good to know."
Since Minato and Kushina were currently living inside the Uchiha Compound, that meant both of them were safely out of the Third Hokage's range of vision.
...
Sitting just outside his yard, Kadoya raised his hand. In response, several matchlock rifles materialized out of thin air, hovering in the air before him. With a casual flick of his index finger, the rifles spun obediently, dancing through the air like puppets on invisible strings.
This was Nobu's Archer-Class ability, her power to summon and telekinetically control firearms, manifesting them as if conjured from thought alone.
Thanks to one of Kadoya's more intimate skills, [Our Shared Glass of Red Wine], he could acquire an ability from the women he slept with, as long as it was their first time. That's how he obtained Nobu's gun-summoning ability. He could now fire those rifles freely, though it drained his limited mana supply.
This skill also works both ways.
Letting those who first time were taken by him to inherit a power of his that is most compatible with them.
Kadoya narrowed his eyes, watching the trail of fire crackling across the training yard. Nobu had acquired his Mera Mera no Mi power, without even having the Devil Fruit sealed inside her or eating one… it was honestly impressive with how she is using it.
Another version of her, Demon King Nobunaga, or Maou Nobu, is a convergence of every possible version of herself across time and space. That version could summon and control fire at will.
So when she obtained the power of the Mera Mera, he wasn't too surprised by it.
And the power of the Devil Fruit took stamina, not chakra or mana, and she surprisingly has a lot of stamina despite her small frame. She could go at it all night with Kadoya, then wake up like nothing happened and go for round two by sunrise.
Right now, she was happily testing her new powers.
"Hm… maybe I don't have to become a scumbag like Jiraiya," Kadoya muttered under his breath.
Sure, the skill [Our Shared Glass of Red Wine] encouraged him to sleep with multiple women. And yes, the Father System only activated when he had children. But neither was essential to his growth; they are just tools, not core pieces of who he was.
Elsewhere, near the open-air bathhouse, the peaceful afternoon was interrupted by an odd sound.
A tree sneezed.
The women bathing in the hot spring stared at it for a moment, then screamed.
From behind the foliage, a long-haired white figure bolted out in panic, followed by a blonde boy with the Senju crest on his back.
...
"Heh?" Kadoya was confused upon reading the report from the Uchiha Academy. "Who the hell accepted this shit!?"
Kadoya shouted in anger, throwing the document at Fugaku's face.
Fugaku: "..."
Although annoyed, he didn't dare to talk back. The Clan Head seems to be in a bad mood; provoking him would only mean hospital time for him.
"Clan Head, the Principal of the Uchiha Academy, Akechi Uchiha, approves of those documents. It has nothing to do with me, I'm just the one who delivers it to you."
Fugaku said quickly, keeping his head low and redirecting the blame toward the real person who should be beaten.
Akechi, I'll visit you in the hospital when I have the time.
Fugaku thought, already thinking of what flowers he should bring to visit his friend.
"Tch! Useless! Transferring an Uchiha to the Ninja Academy just because his results were too poor and he couldn't keep up. If he can't keep up, just transfer him to the civilian classes!" Kadoya said in annoyance, stood up, and left his house, not even bothering to look at Fugaku.
Seeing that the Clan Head had ignored him and didn't redirect his anger toward him, Fugaku let out a sigh of relief before looking down at the document in his hand.
Obito Uchiha - Ninja Academy Transfer - Accepted
It has been months since the Academy started, yet Obito Uchiha, despite registering for the Shinobi Course, hasn't shown any real improvement.
Compared to the other Uchiha in his class, he is the dead last.
Compared to Kakashi Hatake, he is still the dead last.
Compared to Might Guy... besides chakra control, he is still dead last!
For the first time since the start of the Uchiha Academy, there has never been a Uchiha like Obito. Always talking about becoming Hokage, but his skill is so lacking, even a taijutsu specialist like Might Guy could beat him in sparring matches.
Tonori Uchiha, Obito's Homeroom Teacher, has tried to convince him to transfer to the civilian classes, but the stubborn Obito won't listen and insists that he will become a ninja and the next Hokage. And he is just weak because he hasn't unlocked his Sharingan.
The other teachers have to physically stop Tonori from dragging the boy out to the field and beating him up.
Because of Obito, Tonori hasn't had a raise since becoming his teacher.
The Uchiha Academy encourages cultivating talents; students who show talents usually get more attention from their homeroom teacher. If their students have the talent to become Jonin or even Kage-level shinobi in the future, it would be natural for the homeroom teachers who are responsible for raising them and help set up a strong foundation for them.
If those students graduate with strong talent, then those teachers will get a raise. This encourages the teachers to work harder and, in turn, helps the students improve.
Even someone like Might Guy, whose talent is taijutsu, and his hard work, is also noted. His homeroom teacher has carried Might Guy home multiple times after spotting him collapsed on the training ground. This just proved his talent and dedication were real and something to be noticed.
Unable to help Obito improve or convince him to change careers before he became an eternal genin, and wasted his life.
After sensing that he couldn't keep up with others at the Uchiha Academy. Obito requests to be transferred to the Ninja Academy, and the Principal of the Uchiha Academy, Akechi Uchiha, approved the transfer, also finding no hope in this talentless Uchiha.
Upon seeing the Uchiha willingly transfer an Uchiha into the Ninja Academy, the Third Hokage didn't hesitate to accept the transfer.
Kadoya knew that if he wanted to pull Obito back, the Clan Head of the Uchiha needed to show in person and request the transfer of that waste back to the Uchiha Academy.
But knowing the Third Hokage, doing this would drain a lot of the Uchiha resources and time, plus it would also reveal his identity as the Clan Head of the Uchiha. Something he didn't want to reveal just yet.
Walking through the hall of the Uchiha Academy, the students look at him with a strange gaze, never seeing him before, while the teachers and staff who know his identity, avoid making eye contact.
Heading straight to the principal's office, Kadoya kicked open the door, scaring Akechi Uchiha, who was sitting at his desk.
"Akechi Uchiha! Come to Dance!"
He then slammed the door shut, and the nearby staff shivered, hearing crazed laughter, screams, mixed with the sound of desks and cabinets flying, before turning into silence.
Then Kadoya steps out before disappearing using the Flying Raijin.
The Vice-Principal and another staff member have to take the beaten Akechi Uchiha to the Uchiha Hospital.
From what they could hear, it's about Obito Uchiha, though the kid is a waste with no talent but dreams big, he is still an Uchiha. Sending him to the Ninja Academy is no different from sending the boy to his death.
Kadoya didn't care very much about Obito, even after finding out that this kid is alive; he was tempted to just kill the boy. But since he hasn't become scumbag Obito yet, Kadoya decides not to kill him.
In Kadoya's view, Obito, although a decent villain in the Naruto story, is still a scumbag who killed his teacher and teacher's wife, massacred his own clan, started the Fourth Shinobi War, all because the girl he had a crush on died.
That's right, crush on, not wife, fiancé, nor even girlfriend.
The brat didn't even have the ball to confess his feelings, even upon his 'death', he still couldn't bring himself to tell the girl he loved that he loved her. Yet when she died from the war caused by the other villages, he pulled a big brain move and attacked his teacher and teacher's wife, who treated him like family, like their own child.
They saw and treated him like family, so he repaid their kindness by nearly murdering their son the moment he was born and causing their death not long after their child's birth.
Truly a filial son.