~ Miley's POV~
After helping Mercedes pick out the perfect outfit for her date with Travis, I was honestly buzzing with excitement for her, she's had a crush on that guy forever, and seeing her finally getting her crush , it made me nervous and hopeful and it also made me smile too, I gave her my blessing, andd texted her on what to do and wear, made sure she wore the cutest outfit for her date with Travis.
As soon as she texted that she had left,
I texted her: Good luck, girl! Don't forget to tell me EVERYTHING later!"
She replied with a bunch of hearts and nervous emojis, classic Mercei!!!
I didn't want to disturb her cause she deserved this moment, so I decided to stay out of her way today and let her have her fairytale.
But me?
I was lying in my room, arms spread on my bed like a lifeless starfish, staring at the ceiling fan, my phone sat beside me silent, too silent, no calls, no texts, and not even a "Hey babe, how's your day?" from Josh, my boyfriend,
That was not like him at all.
Usually by now, we've had at least one call where he tells me he misses me, or I'm sending him a random selfie with a stupid filter, and he's sending heart eyes, but today, nothing,
Just empty silence and a growing lump in my chest.
At first, I brushed it off, maybe his phone died or maybe he's busy or something, but then the thoughts started to creep in,What if he's with someone else? Gosh No!!! He wouldn't, he loves me, right?
Still... something didn't feel right, I couldn't sit with this anxiety, so I decided, why not surprise him at his place? It'd be cute and romantic. I'd show up, maybe bring snacks, kiss his face and everything would feel normal again.
I threw on something casual, tied my hair into a bun, grabbed my bag, and told my mom I was heading out for a while, she asked where I was going, I just said, "To see someone", She nodded and reminded me to be back before dinner, I promised that I would.
The whole taxi ride there, my heart felt weird, well not excited and not scared either just uneasy, like my body already knew what my heart wasn't ready to admit,
When I got to his place, I noticed the front door wasn't closed all the way, Just... slightly open, my gut twisted,
I knocked softly, "Hello? Josh you there?", but I got no answer,
I pushed it open slowly, stepping in, something was kinda off,
It was quiet too quiet but not empty, There was... a sound, voices, faint giggling, directly from the kitchen,
I should've turned around, but I didn't,
My feet moved on their own, quietly carrying me closer to the sound, closer to the breaking point of my heart,
Then I saw them,
Josh and HER!!
It was an orange blonde girl and my boyfriend kissing, she held him like she belong there, Josh stood there as his eyes widened, the way I saw it was his lips pressed against hers like I never existed, like the promises he whispered to me were just practice runs for someone else,
I couldn't breathe, it felt like the air had been punched out of my lungs,
My body went cold, then hot, then all numb at that exact moment,
He saw me and he quickly pulled away from her like it was her fault, like I was just being dramatic,
"Miley.....wait! I can explain!" he called out,
Explain what?! That I was stupid? That I was a joke? That everything we had meant nothing to him?
I didn't say a word, I walked straight up to him and slapped him across the face, the sound of the slap echoed, my hand stung, his cheek turned red and I didn't care,
"WE'RE DONE!" I screamed, my voice cracked from the pain I was trying to hold back,
He reached for me but I shoved him hard, he called after me but I was already running,
Running away from the kitchen, from that house, from him and from everything.
I don't remember much of the ride home, just that my cheeks were soaked, I stared out the window the entire time, watching the world blur by like I wasn't even a part of it.
When I got home, Mom looked surprised to see me so early.
She asked, "Back so soon? Didn't the person show up?",
I nodded as I forced a smile,
"Yeah, they weren't home", I said and she didn't press me she never does cause she always believed me,
But the moment I got to my room, I collapsed, face down on the bed and the tears came like a flood,
I cried into my pillow until my throat was raw, until I couldn't even recognize the sound of my own sobs, I screamed into the fabric, hoping it would mute the pain.
Why, Josh?
Why Me?!!!!
I gave him everything.
My time, my heart and even my trust, I believed him when he said I was special, when he told me I was his only girl, I truly believed every single word,
And now?
Now I was just another fool.
He's a jock, a popular guy, maybe I should've known and saw it coming but he made me feel like I was more than just a phase, and now he's just kissing some random girl with beach orange blonde hair and pretty eyes like I didn't matter,
It hurts, it hurts so bad I couldn't even move, I blocked him on everything, deleted our pictures and archived the messages I couldn't bear to look at, but couldn't delete either.
And as for school? I'm not going, I can't, I won't cause I don't want to see him, I don't want to hear whispers, I don't want to fake a smile, I just want to disappear,
I wanted to tell Mercedes, my bestie, my other half, but she's probably having the best day ever right now with Travis, I won't ruin that for her,
I'll just keep this pain to myself and let her be happy,
Let someone be happy,
So I cried, again and again, and again.
Not because I missed him but because I missed the person I thought he was
and because I'm scared that maybe no one will ever truly love me the way I want to be loved,
Not for real.
I am totally broken, but still breathing
and one day I'll rise again, maybe...