"Well," Hermione continued, oblivious that Ron had started to take notes on the different types of jerky that were currently available in a shop near Inverness.
"I start out casting a spell on Neville's door. When he opens it, it triggers a secondary spell which pulls a string that opens Gryffindor common room entrance. This in turn has the Fat Lady screaming about unannounced visitors. That in turn kicks off an alarm spell I have in place to alert Filch that someone is leaving the Gryffindor common room after dark. He leaves his office in search of the student. This triggers another spell and moments later he sees a book falling from a shelf or from the top of a suit of armor - I haven't figured that part out yet."
"Obviously, he doesn't find anyone. But he does find one of Neville's books as his name on the inside cover. Figuring he must be up to no good, Filch storms to the Gryffindor common room and yells at Neville. This in turn alerts Professor McGonagall that someone has been up and about when they shouldn't have been and she comes to see who Filch has cornered. She sees that it is Neville and assigns him a detention. Well? How about it?"
Harry thought about it for a moment and said, "Well, a couple things. First, if you left the book for Filch to find, why bother with the rest of the magic? He could find it in the middle of the night on his rounds and still come looking for Neville. Second, who's to say Neville would open the door and release the rest of the spells? For all you know, it could be Ron or Dean, or even me when I stay there."
Hermione's enthusiasm waned. "You know, this is harder than it looks. I don't know how Fred and George do as much as they are accused of."
"They have help of course. And you know I'm more than willing to help you plan something out if you'd like."
Hermione gave him a smile. "Thanks, Harry, but I want to do this myself. If only to prove that I can do it."
"Okay. Want to mess with Ron some more? Ready to talk about jerky?" Hermione nodded yes and grinned. "I'm going to drop the translation field in three, two, one… And that's why I like the spicy jerky, Hermione. You can't beat it for overall taste and chewiness. I mean shoe leather is all right, but jerky hits the spot."
"You know, Harry," she said, an idea quickly forming. "Have you tried any of the camel-flavored jerky? I've heard a lot of good things about it. Of course it was in Arabic, but it was still good."
"I didn't know you spoke Arabic," he winked at her to show he was happy with her new spin on this delivery.
"Oh sure. It's not hard to learn a foreign language. All you have to do is find something you love about the culture or language and then cast the poopalucious translation spell and there you are. Instant understanding. And finding some camel jerky is what allowed me to learn Arabic in one afternoon."
"That sounds neat, Hermione," Harry winked again and Hermione winked back. "Can you teach me the spell so I can do it at a later time?"
"Sure. I'll even write it down and leave a copy of it for you on the bulletin board if I don't see you later tonight."
"Thanks, Hermione. Well, we'd better get back to studying. End of term tests are coming up."
Minutes later after the two began to read and revise notes, Ron scurried away, content that he had a sure-fire way to learn a foreign language in a short amount of time - two things that appealed to him: studying without having to study. Wait till Neville found out about this!
"He's gone," Harry informed Hermione who raised her head, still grinning. "Poopalucious? I don't think I've heard of that spell."
"It's a kind of… cleaning spell," she said.
"Uh-huh. What kind of cleaning spell?"
"One designed for wizards living in the city who need to walk their pets and then clean up after them after they've done their duty."
"Uh-huh."
"Oh, all right. A wizard points his wand at the poop, says the incantation and it flies to bag he's holding. It's a quick spell requiring next to no wand movement. The trick is to get it to the bag."
"And let's say for arguments sake that there aren't any dogs or cats here. What do you think will happen?"
"Doesn't Hagrid keep all sorts of animals nearby? I'm sure something might happen with one them."
"You do realize you just pulled your first prank, don't you?" Harry grinned, closing his books and gathering them all into his bag.
"No, I just talked about a spell that came to mind. I was reading up on it the other day because my dad is considering getting a dog and I'll have you know that I'm not about to lean down and grab a steaming mound of dog poo in my hands if I can help it."
Harry chuckled. "Your first prank. Think about it. Oh, and don't forget to put the poopalucious spell on the board. But do me a favor and omit the bit about the bag."
"But won't that mean the caster will… oh, I get it. You're evil, Mr. Potter."
"Why thank you, Miss Granger. But I only embellished what you started."
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