Inside the room—
Mitarai was trembling with excitement as his childhood friend drew closer. Finally, he thought, I'm finally going to graduate from being a virgin!
That group of nuisances hadn't made a peep in a while—probably gave up already.
Yes! Nothing could stop him from stepping into the adult world. All those trials before? Just the final tests!
He had passed!!!
Plop~
Just as their lips were about to touch, a round object rolled to the side of the bed.
A stench drifted out of the sphere—an unbearable, vile gas, like a fart from someone suffering long-term constipation. It reeked of fermentation.
"Σ_(っ°Д °;)っ URGH!!!"
Mitarai almost fainted on the spot. The smell was worse than a boys' school bathroom that hadn't been cleaned in months—it was truly despair-inducing!
Outside the room—
The group stared at Shiro in awe. He was the one who had thrown that orb.
A stink bomb from the convenience store—just 250 yen!
Honestly, when it came to weird stuff, the Japanese were truly unmatched.
At least, that's what Shiro thought. What kind of sane person would even make something like this?
"You're the man, Kamishiro!"
"You even have stuff like this?!"
"You're like a real-life Doraemon!"
"Hey, what did you originally buy this for anyway?"
"…"
(;´Д`)
Shiro looked away when Iori asked that. He couldn't exactly say it was meant to prank him by tossing it into his futon while he slept.
"Ahaha, don't mind the details! Anyway, I've got more—here, take as many as you want!"
He pulled out a pile of stink bombs. Cheap, effective—he'd bought a ton of them in one go last time. The clueless shopkeeper had even looked at him like he had some kind of weird fetish.
These bombs came in all kinds of flavors—curry, lavender, urea... A nauseating combination of farts and bizarre aromas. Just imagining it made your sanity meter drop.
Everyone's smile slowly turned sinister. What a great plan! Drop them through the mail slot—stop Mitarai without getting caught.
They'd already tested one. The smell alone was enough to give someone erectile dysfunction.
If Mitarai still succeeded after all this, then... well, maybe he deserved to graduate!
Either way, it would surely be an unforgettable night for him and his "partner."
They took the bombs with gentle, "merciful" expressions and stared at the door like it was a grave.
"Farewell, brother."
"You'll be remembered."
"Don't worry, we'll be here for you... always."
"…"
Shiro and the others stared wide-eyed. They were pretty sure these guys were just scared that Mitarai might come back after finishing the deed.
Enough talk—time to act!
Despite calling him "brother," they didn't hesitate for a second. They hurled the stink bombs with full force, terrified they might miss.
Their movements were subtle—hard to tell anyone was even outside.
After the toss, the three looked practically enlightened. Shiro felt like they were about to achieve nirvana…
BANG!
╭(°A°`)╮
Suddenly, a round object shot out of the room at insane speed!
Yamamoto, who had been daydreaming nearby, got blasted off his feet by the sheer impact. He slammed into the wall and slid down unconscious.
(′;ω;`)
At the same time, a durian-scented stench burst from the orb.
"Wait… that's our stink bomb!"
Fujiwara (the quiet one) and Nojima (the trashy one) looked horrified. That was the bomb they had thrown!
{{(°△°; ")}}!
Shiro and his gang trembled. Things had clearly gone off the rails.
Suddenly, Shiro shouted:
"CRAP! HIDE!"
BOOM!
BOOM!
Too late.
As Shiro yelled, Nojima and Fujiwara were both blasted backward as well!
They were lucky—Yamamoto broke their fall—so they didn't pass out.
Unlucky part? The stink bomb exploded right there!
The combined scent of every variety—curry, lavender, urea, durian—was worse than a ruptured sewer line.
"Σ_(っ°Д °;)っ URGH!!!"
"What… what the hell just happened…"
"I need air! Fresh AIR!"
"I… I won't give up yet!"
"(′;ω;`) Someone tell me—who is Mitarai's girl?!"
Shiro had enough. He dragged everyone away from the scene.
This was too much. Just too much.
He knew his Stand's capabilities—this wasn't it. No way his Stand could've reflected the bomb.
That left only one possibility—Mitarai's girlfriend!
It was his first time seeing someone who could return a stink bomb like that!
And that speed—absolutely inhuman. Yamamoto still hadn't woken up!
Yamamoto: (twitching…)
Shiro's mind began to conjure the image of a gorilla.
His Stand—no!
The great Mitarai Yuu—he actually chose to risk his first time with someone like that?!
Shiro had no right to stand in his way!
…Though honestly, the main reason?
The smell was just too much to endure.
"Σ_(っ°Д °;)っ URGH!!!"
Inside the room—
Rie frowned. She had already cleared out all the stink bombs, but the lingering stench still made her want to vomit.
Her eyes grew cold as she turned to the shivering Mitarai cowering in the corner.
"…What's going on here? Why do you have so many weird things in your house?"
She was genuinely confused. From her perspective, no one had thrown anything in—so she thought they were his.
{{(°△°; ")}}!
Mitarai was stunned. Great question.
He wanted to know that too!
Why had his house been bombed with farts out of nowhere? And judging by Rie's words, she thought it was his doing.
Also… just now, when she kicked the bomb, he swore he heard a sonic boom?!
Wasn't that… a little outside the bounds of human ability?
He was getting scared now…
Mostly because after all that, his little bro had no will to stand up anymore.
"…Maybe my friends did it. They like collecting weird crap…"
Mitarai sounded exhausted. He couldn't tell Rie the truth—that his dumbass friends were outside. If he did, tonight would definitely be over.
WHAM!
Before he could finish, Rie shoved him onto the bed.
Her long legs pressed between his, straddling him.
She gently caressed his cheek, her eyes gleaming with a slightly deranged glint.
"Oh, it's okay, my dear Yuu-nii. We're childhood friends—something small like this won't stop us~"
GULP.
Mitarai swallowed hard. This might sound crazy, but… somehow, this version of Rie was even hotter.
Outside the room—
Yamamoto finally regained consciousness. Tears streaming down his face, he clutched Shiro's leg.
"Kamishiro! Bro! There has to be another way, right?!"
"Haah… No way. That girl's combat power is off the charts. At this point, unless we find another girl to make her jealous, there's no chance."
Shiro sighed. The sonic stink bomb had scarred him for life.
And anyway, he was a decent guy—sabotaging someone's happiness wasn't his style!
Even Iori and the others looked defeated, clearly out of ideas.
Now…
They could either wait for a miracle…
…Or wait for Mitarai to finish the job.
Only one person stood out among the dejected crowd—
Imamura Kouhei.
A man married to 2D waifus.
To him, real girls were just trouble. Wouldn't it be better to spend that time doting on his anime wives?
At least 2D wives never cheat. If your belief is strong enough—they're yours forever.
He could even fantasize about being the hot blonde love interest!
Kouhei had only come to watch the drama unfold. Now that it was over, he had no reason to stay.
He patted Shiro's shoulder. "Let's go. Let's drink. After tonight, Mitarai and us… we might live in different worlds."
(;´Д`)
"Y-yeah… I guess you're right…"
Shiro's eyes darted nervously. Technically, if Mitarai does finish tonight, doesn't that put him in Shiro's world too?
Kouhei walked off with cool indifference. Nothing could stop him now.
"Yuu-nii~ childhood friends~"
BOOM!!!
Kouhei froze like he'd been struck by lightning. He rushed to the door to eavesdrop.
"Don't call me that. It's kinda weird, y'know?"
"Nooo, Yuu-nii~ Yuu-nii~"
(′;ω;`)
Each "Yuu-nii" hit Kouhei in the heart like a bullet.
In that moment, jealousy erupted in him like a volcano!
He could accept Mitarai graduating… but not this!
Calling him "Yuu-nii"? And they were childhood friends?!
That was Kouhei's ultimate fantasy!!!
A shadow fell over his once-handsome face. This was now a matter of principle.
"Leave it to me," he growled. "It's time you all witnessed the true power of vocal mixing."
Shiro's face went serious. He'd heard that seasoned 2D otakus had their own secret techniques.
Was Kouhei's… voice mixing?!
Inside the room—
Rie continued leaning in, closer and closer. Despite all the chaos earlier, as long as there were no other girls near her Yuu-nii, everything was fine.
"Yuu-kun, I'm coming in~" (Female Voice A)
"Damn you! Who are you people?!" (Female Voice B)
"Yuu-kun… are you there? There are a lot of scary older girls outside… I'm scared~" (Female Voice C)
"Yuu! Get out here and explain yourself!" (Female Voice D)
"Yuu…"
{{(°△°; ")}}!
The group outside stared in horror.
They never expected Kouhei could mimic such realistic female voices—and with so many layers!
Loli, mature woman, young wife… he had them all!
Shiro was utterly dumbfounded. He had originally thought Kohei could at most barely imitate a girl's voice, but he had seriously underestimated him.
This kind of skill, no matter how gifted someone is, still takes time and practice to develop.
In that case...
Everyday Kohei (??ω??)
This kid must have some secret side gig no one knows about!
Bang!
The tightly shut door was suddenly flung open from the inside, and the powerful impact knocked Kohei flying. Thankfully, Shiro reacted quickly and grabbed him in time—otherwise, they'd have been exposed!
A pure and innocent-looking girl stormed out of the house in a rage.
It was none other than Mitarai's girlfriend—Rie Ohashi!
They had been just about to reach the final step, but upon hearing voices outside, Rie instantly backed out. She couldn't accept the idea of her beloved Yu having another woman.
Especially one he was hiding from her!
Fueled by fury, she didn't even stop to think about why she had only heard a voice and not seen anyone.
Right now, she just wanted to break up with this scumbag!
"Goodbye forever! Don't contact me again!"
"W-Wait a sec!"
Mitarai didn't hesitate for a moment—he grabbed his pants and ran after her. If he missed this chance, he might never get close to a girl again!
"That was all just a prank by my guy friends! I swear I'm cutting ties with them!"
"Who would believe you?!"
The two of them got farther and farther away until they were finally out of sight. Only then did Shiro and the others emerge from the bushes.
"That should do it, right?"
"Perfectly resolved!"
"Still leaves a bad taste, though."
"I can't believe that guy wants to cut ties with us."
"Traitor!"
"..."
(;?＿?)
Shiro was genuinely speechless at their mentality. Why did it feel like they were the ones who had been wronged, even though they were the ones who cost someone his girlfriend...?
But still...
Shiro stared thoughtfully at Mitarai's retreating figure.
"What is it, Shiro?" Iori noticed his odd expression and asked.
"Why do you care about that traitor?"
"Let's go back and drink already!"
"Exactly!"
Hearing everyone scolding Mitarai, Shiro let out a deep sigh. "You guys are actually not so bad."
(′｀;)?
They looked at him, puzzled by what he meant. Wasn't the situation obvious?
"Look at his eyes! So clouded and confused! I believe he hasn't truly abandoned you all. There will be a twist, just wait!"
He said it firmly—he could sense it!
This was the aura of one of his own!
As expected of his stand-in!
(???)
Iori and the others were on the verge of turning into dead fish-eyed statues, with too many retorts bubbling up inside them.
"How the hell can you tell someone's eyes are clouded through squinting eyes? Is it some kind of telepathy between squinters?"
"And why are you acting like you're not one of us?!"
Shiro didn't reply. He continued staring determinedly at Mitarai.
The moment of truth was about to come!
...
Under the streetlamp, Mitarai rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish as he faced his now ex-girlfriend.
Yes—just a few minutes ago, they had officially broken up.
"I guess I have no choice but to give up now."
"Please make sure you do!"
"I see… Then I just have one last question."
Everyone watched the scene tensely. Just like Ohashi, they were also waiting in anticipation.
"Since we're no longer a couple...
Next time, could you introduce me to your friends?"
A bright, carefree smile spread across Mitarai's face—his logic was flawless, in his opinion!
BAM BAM BAM!!!
Unfortunately... his logic was useless!
Ohashi unleashed a combo attack!
Rising Dragon Fist!
High Kick!
She sent this scumbag flying into the air!
And waiting below for his fall...
Were his "dearest friends"!
"We really are the best of friends!" ×