"And ya let em' go?!"
"What did you think I should've done? Trailed him?!"
"YES! You fuckin mut! I stepped aside for a minute and ya asses let em' go?"
The raging bull before him had grabbed him by the collar and he was visibly shaking.
"We're fuckin' goin-"
"Nico..."
Molly who had been following behind him closely but never interfering finally stepped up and she grabbed Nicholas's palm and looked up at him, wide eyed and guilty for something she hadn't even gone.
Her eyes beckoned to him, to not let go, not again.
"Ahhh....You damn small brute!" He said, playfully this time as he picked Molly up in his arms to which she protested by kicked around lightly, but her movements seized only a moment later and she was enjoying herself in the moment with a faint blush on her face.
Nicholas was trying as hard as he could to sheath his lividness, it may have worked with Molly, not with anyone else though.
"Alright fine." He closed and turned to move inside, not making an effort to look at Johann.
Johann chose to say nothing, was that because of how difficult it was to look at Nicholas? He didn't know, his head had snapped to the side and he winced in futility.
When they were finally inside the compartment, seated opposite to each other on the seats, they chose to not say anything.
Even if Johann could muster a half hearted apology regarding why he let Thomas go like setting free a lion from its cage, it would be just that, half hearted.
He didn't have the will power to trail Thomas, had no intention of seeing through just how far he could go. On top of that he was also scared.
Nicholas had already gone away when Thomas decided on his rendezvous. If Johann had persisted to go along with him then there was a good chance Thomas would've seized the opportunity and put a bullet right through his head.
He wanted to tell the world and tell himself that he couldn't die because of his family. He loved them a lot, that was the truth yet, to say that was the sole reason he didn't go with what would've been his certain death was wrong.
He was scared.
His sense were yelling at him to not move.
To walk away.
So he had done just that, and in the process had led countless others he had no idea about to horrors of an unmonitored Thomas.
He scoffed internally.
Why did it matter? Thomas had no restrictions even with all of them present! He had already planned all of this and no one from heaven or hell could stop his advances.
He was like a force of nature, you could counter him as much with barriers and surveillance yet prevention was impossible.
"Hey." A cranky voice called out to him.
His head didn't snap from its position, it just stayed there, tired.
"Ya got a family?" Nicholas's voice was slow, Johann finally looked up and saw the spectacle.
He sat, relaxed on the colourless brown berth, his hand gently ruffling the hair of the girl who had dozed off, her head on his lap, her expression one of serenity. Like a bubble that warded off the world's evil, she was sleeping soundly.
She looked so much like a child, though Johann.
His mind finally registered Nicholas's question and he straightened himself up, looking outside the dusty windows.
The sun was bitterly warm. It was shining light on their faces as if revealing faces of fleeing criminals.
"A wife and two kids." Johann replied.
"Is that so?" He added, "Makes sense why ya ass didn't run behind em'" His face wasn't apprehensive anymore. It still had its sharp edge to it yet it was more understanding now.
The affects of harboring a child, thought Johann, though bringing her here in the first place seemed foolish. So much so with a person like Molly, she looked no more than 15, if at most she could be 16, yet she lacked the knowledge of what was going on. Johann couldn't comment on her spatial awareness, the way she had moved was faster than he could've imagined.
Was this why Nicholas had brought her here? Just to serve as a secondary weapon-
"Ya lookin' at her. Thinkin some wild shit aren' ya?"
"No. That wasn't even-"
"Aye. You're shaking."
What?
"Ya ass has been quivering ever since ya walked back."
Johann looked down, his feet weren't shaking ferociously but there was a tremor running through his entire body.
"An open book at times ya know? So, What have ya been thinking about her?" his hand was still ruffling her hair ever so gently. As if she were a being that fragile.
"Just plain curiosity."
"Plain curiosity my ass. Probably thinkin that I'm a fuckin retard for bringing her with me aye?"
"That was....part of it."
He shook his head, "More than part of it I tell ya."
His head slowly dropped. His expression eased and his eyes became melancholic.
"Don' blame the girl. She ain' got nothin to do with it."
"Then why?" His voice spoke up, "Why did you bring her here out of all places? In front of Thomas as well?"
"Do ya think I want to!" He flared, "Ya people have no fuckin' clue of what's happening and then ya ask questions like ya know everything! Been a third eye watchin me ever since I was in the war or somethin?"
Johann only stared at him now, not pityingly or in fear but in patience, in contemplation.
"Ya heard of Separation Anxiety disorder?"
"...What?" He managed.
"Yeah." He scoffed, "Missy had a field day and colored the entire walls yellow the one time I wasn't there."
"Why....why didn't you try to leave her with your family? What about your wife? Has she...?" His words slowly faded and his question couldn't be finished as he took in Nicholas's face.
"I...." He was struggling. For the first time that Johann had witnessed, Nicholas was shaken up and struggling to say something, "I ain' her father.."
This time his flurry of questions that seemed more targeted to ridicule him didn't even think of arising. He didn't have any authority to pity the man, for he was already far more powerful than him, not because of the power he held but just how strong this man was.
"Durin' the war...I found her in a barn....she looked so small lemme tell ya. An' she was five at that time, she wasn't bigger than my forearm."
He recalled the memories so pensively yet with such hurt. It was like he was being stung by needles the more he spoke, "She looked like a damn rat I tell ya.." He gave a weak, pained laugh, "basically was one...her hands looked like they'd snap if someone stepped on em' and her stomach....good God her stomach....it was so fuckin small."
Johann was still as a statue, his eyes were wide and his mouth was every so slightly open.
Nicholas wiped his lips, "The entire time I saw her I thought of that one fable, where one of Akaris's children got swept up in that flood and ended up in some random farm. An' I don' believe in God.....but even I couldn' let go of her."
"Is that why...she has anxiety?" He was the foolish one. He asking questions that needed no answers, one that were already in front of him.
"No."
What?
"When I found her.....I was separated from my troops...I ran away after that."
"You...ran away? Like...from the war?"
"Yeah. I packed up what I had, got Molly on my back, looted the damn farm and ran....then I found the battlefield." He didn't take any pauses, "We got swept up...an' I had Molly tied to a cloth on my back the entire time....some bullets even grazed her ear but she lived. Though the past put shackles on us that we can't get off. She....got messed up...real bad...she was cryin every night...damn bombs were explodin all round us. Every where we ran we got ourselves in some trouble. I had to kill a few men with my gun too, the bullets ran out and I hadta bash their heads in....she was still behind me the entire time..."
"I-I'm sorry.."
"Ya ain' get anythin' to be sorry for. But...I get ya. I can see why ya were scared to agree with Thomas. I would've been as well if he threatened Molly. So cheer up would ya? There ain' anythi- HEY!"
He yelped as loud as he could as thundering pierced through the air. The sound was over as quickly as it had started and was replaced by a rumbling sound that faded away.
Johann's head snapped to the window when the train passed by their cart with such extreme ferocity.
And when he turned back, he saw Nicholas on the floor holding Molly under his chest and covering his head with both of his arms.