Daily Meme
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Opening my eyes, I was face to face with the Villain Girl in a place I didn't recognize. She sat way too close, her grin wide, legs crossed like this was just some casual meetup and not a goddamn hostage situation.
She was so close I could smell her shampoo. Or maybe blood. Do they do blood flavoured ones? The chick was one step away from licking my face
"Morning, cutie~"
I exhaled, shifting against the restraints. "Yeah, okay, no. First off, back the hell up. Second, where the fuck am I?"
She tilted her head, resting her chin on her palm. "A secret~! But don't worry, we'll be spending lots of time together!"
"Yeah, not happening," I muttered, testing the ropes. Tight. No knots I could easily slip out of. Quality steel rope. Wouldn't break under force.
Her eyes flicked down. "Ooooh, you're thinking of escaping. How exciting! But it's not gonna work~"
"Yeah?" I flexed my fingers. "You really think you can keep me tied up forever?"
She pouted. "Aw, don't be like that! We're friends now, aren't we?"
"No."
She gasped, clutching her chest like I stabbed her as if that wouldn't make her wet. "So mean! And after all we've been through?"
I stared. "We've been through exactly one fight where you tried to stab me, and I tried to cave your skull in. That's not friendship, that's attempted murder."
"Tomato, tomahto~" She giggled, rocking back on her heels. "Besides, I could've just killed you back there. But I didn't! That's gotta mean something, right?"
"Yeah, it means you're a goddamn weirdo." I glanced around, scanning for exits. The room was dim, probably underground. No windows, only one door, and a metal one at that. No easy way out.
She tapped her chin. "I dunno~ I think it means we have a special connection! Like fate! Or maybe…" She leaned in, eyes bright. "Maybe I just really, really like you."
I deadpanned. "You like blood."
She nodded. "Yup!"
"And you like stabbing people."
"Also true!"
"And you wanna stab me."
"Uh-huh~!"
I stared. "So you see how that's a problem, right?"
She pouted. "Not if you let me!"
I sighed, tilting my head back against the wall. "Yeah, no. Hard pass."
She hummed, twirling a knife between her fingers. "You're fun, y'know? Most people scream or beg, but you just sit there being all grumpy. It's cute!"
"Not trying to impress you."
"But you are~"
I looked at the ceiling, praying for patience. "Right. So where are the others?"
She leaned in, her breath warm against my cheek, voice low and teasing. "Shigaraki's pissed," she whispered, grinning like this was some inside joke. "You screwed up a lot of things for us, you know. Muscular? Gone. Moonfish? Gone. Mustard? Also gone." She let out a dramatic sigh, shaking her head. "You're a real problem, Ryuu."
I rolled my shoulders against the restraints, testing the tension. "Yeah? You say that like I give a shit."
She giggled, fingers contouring my arm. "You should! They wanted to break you. But me?" Her voice dropped to a purr. "I want to keep you."
I raised a brow. "Yeah, no. Not into the whole 'pet' thing."
She pouted. "Boo. You would be a cute one."
Before I could respond with something suitably insulting, the door creaked open. Spinner walked in, face twisted in frustration. "Toga, stop screwing around. Shigaraki wants him next."
Toga didn't move immediately. Instead, she dragged her knife lightly down my arm—not cutting, just a slow slide. "Guess we'll have to pick this up later~"
Spinner clicked his tongue. "Stop being weird."
Toga grinned, but she stepped back. "Fine, fine~" She turned back to me, tilting her head. "Don't go anywhere, okay?"
I deadpanned. "Yeah, not really up to me."
She laughed like I had told a joke and skipped out of the room.
Spinner grabbed the back of my chair, yanking me forward roughly. "Move."
I let Spinner yank me along, not bothering to resist. Shigaraki was still salty about USJ, which made this whole thing way funnier than it should have been. He had taken my insults way too personally, especially the part about using the hand on his face to jerk off. But even now, with all his grudges and plans, he still thought he had everything under control.
The room I got dragged into was dim, like they were trying too hard to be ominous. Shigaraki was in his usual slouch, fingers tapping against his arm, gaze locked on the screen. The rest of his quad stood around, all of them watching U.A.'s public apology. Well, except for Toga, who was still staring at me like she wanted to carve her name into my chest.
They shoved me in front of the screen. U.A.'s apology was playing.
Shigaraki watched, hands tapping at his arm. "They're scrambling," he muttered. "Trying to make themselves look like they've got everything under control."
Spinner crossed his arms. "They don't. The way they let this all happen, the way they act like they're untouchable, but then shit like this happens? That's not justice. Heroes aren't what they say they are. They take the money, take the fame, and pretend they're above everyone else."
Shigaraki's eyes didn't leave the screen. "Exactly. They're playing a game where the rules only benefit them. And when things go wrong? They make excuses." He let out a short laugh. "They call us villains, say we're destroying society. But society is already broken. We're just proving it."
I snorted. "Yeah, real noble cause you got there. Bunch of grown adults kidnapping teenagers because you're mad at the government. Super inspiring."
Shigaraki's fingers twitched. "You're missing the point."
"Nah, I got it. 'Hero society bad, we good.' Real original." I glanced back at the screen. "Let me guess. Step two of your master plan is monologuing about it while getting your ass kicked?"
Kurogiri cleared his throat. "Your mockery isn't necessary, Midoriya Ryuu."
"Yeah? Neither is your boss having a victim complex, but here we are."
Toga giggled. "I like him."
"Of course you do."
On-screen, dressed to impress, his hair's no longer a tangled mess, Aizawa addressed the press. "I let my students fight because I didn't have all the information at the time. The worst outcome would have been them dying. None of them did."
Nezu spoke next. "Had Ryuu Midoriya not defeated the villain with Gas Quirk, the situation would have been far worse."
A reporter cut in. "You claim to prioritize student well-being, yet one of your own was taken. And let's not ignore Midoriya's behavior during the Sports Festival—his aggression, his reckless attitude. Was it not a sign that he wasn't stable? That U.A. had already failed him before this even happened?"
I scoffed. "Gotta love the media. 'Yeah, sure, he saved lives, but let's talk about how mean he was while doing it.'"
Shigaraki hummed. "They eat their own when it's convenient. That's how this world works. They'll turn on U.A. the second they don't like the answers they get."
Aizawa didn't even blink. "If the villains believe they can turn Ryuu into one of them, then they're even more foolish than I thought."
Nezu nodded. "We are working with the police. We will retrieve him."
Aizawa muttered when the conference ended, "That idiot better not be enjoying himself."
Nezu smirked. "Oh, he definitely is."
Shigaraki scoffed, finally looking away from the screen. "So predictable. 'We'll fix it, we'll make sure it never happens again, we'll bring him back.' They always act like they have control." He leaned forward. "Tell me, Midoriya Ryuu. Do you believe them?"
I yawned. "Yeah, because I totally see myself switching sides. Real tempting offer you got here. Get kidnapped, listen to bad speeches, watch a bunch of edgy adults act like they're revolutionaries. Thrilling."
Magne frowned. "You should take this more seriously."
"Hard to when you all sound like Reddit threads in human form."
Spinner's eye twitched. "You're really asking to get your ass kicked."
I shrugged. "If I'm stuck here, I might as well enjoy myself."
Shigaraki's fingers tapped against the table again. "You're annoying."
"Yeah, I get that a lot."
Toga leaned forward, "So, Ryuu~ What do you think your friends are doing right now?"
I grinned at her. "Don't really care. Never really fit in to begin with. Maybe you get that better than they do."
Toga's head tilted, her smile stretching. "Awww, you think so? You and me, misunderstood souls?~"
I nodded like a dumbass, exaggerating the motion. "Defo, baby. No one gets us. Society fears what it can't comprehend."
Toga beamed. "Right?! They see me and think, 'Oh no, she's crazy!' But really, I just have hobbies!"
"Yeah, hobbies. Like stabbing."
"Exactly! Finally, someone who understands!"
Spinner groaned. "Toga, stop flirting with the hostage."
She pouted. "I'm just being friendly."
"Yeah, well, friendly's not the vibe when you've got a knife in your hand."
Toga giggled and twirled the blade between her fingers. "It's just an accessory~."
Shigaraki, who had been tapping at his arm like a mosquito was buzzing in his ear, finally spoke. "Enough. This isn't social hour."
I turned to him, unimpressed. "Oh, good. You're gonna start whining again."
His fingers twitched. "You think this is funny?"
I looked around, gesturing at the whole 'kidnapped and tied to a chair' situation. "I mean, yeah. Kinda hilarious."
Magne folded her arms. "You should be more grateful. We didn't kill you."
"Yeah, I noticed. You wanna cookie?"
Mr. Compress chuckled. "Your mouth really doesn't stop, does it?"
"Nah, it's a medical condition. You should pity me."
Shigaraki's patience was wearing thin. "You're in no position to be this cocky."
I leaned back, resting my head against the chair. "What are you gonna do, kill me? Go ahead. Just know that the second you do, you're gonna have All Might and every Pro Hero in Japan crawling so far up your ass you'll be coughing up spandex."
Shigaraki stood, adjusting the hand on his face.
I grinned. "Did you check for cum stains? Wouldn't want to eat your own spunk again."
He didn't react. Took the fun out of it. Shouldn't do the same jokes twice.
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Wrote it while re-reading before posting. The original sentence was, "On-screen, dressed to impress, Aizawa addressed the press." Feeling the rhyme, I added "His hair's no longer a tangled mess" then thought if I should add something about his not sleeping mood, and added a few other lines, but sentence got too crowded, so separated it from original sentence.
On-screen, dressed to impress, Aizawa addressed the press—
His hair's no longer a tangled mess, so you know he's about to stress.
Deadpan stare, all black dress, dragging villains into confess.
If Aizawa's groomed? God bless. Someone's life is a hot damn mess.
Mic in hand, full of finesse, sleep-deprived but still says "yes."
Voice so dry it could compress water vapor into stress.
Reporters flinch—he don't digress, just glares like, "Ask more, I'll depress."
He blinked once. A camera died. That was a warning shot, no less.
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And here we see the modern lurker,
A species known for its ability to consume vast amounts of content…
…without leaving a single shred of support."
The music swells.
"This one has read 61 chapters…
And left no vote.
Not even a comment.
Truly… an evolutionary dead end."
David cries.
The otters boo.
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