My cheeks were wet before i could even register that i was crying, maybe it was the sad music or the sight of all this gorgeous houses or all the thoughts that seemed to gang up and attack me all at once but i was crying, they fell faster than i could catch them, forming a hot wobbly stream from my eyes to my chin, i gave up trying to pat my cheeks dry with the sleeves of my sweater and just let it flow.
I lowered myself to a curb,gathering my head in my hands, thankfully there was no one on the street to see me like this,the tears blurred my vision, my shoulders shaking,
In out in out repeat, i don't know how long i stayed like that for but i was almost dozed off when i heard the sound of a car revving by.
I jolted awake wiping the sand from my butt, i had to have been there a while, because my lefs felt all noodly when i tried to walk.
By the time i got back to the house, the sky was already a really dull dark shade of grey, the wind has picked up and were forming little mini tornados with some sand and fallen leaves in people's yards
The throbbing in my head was worsening by the second and i could barely keep my eyes open as i trudged down the street…all that crying.
I didn't really consider myself a crier (i still don't) or relatively emotional turns out i was wrong like i am with most things, turns out i don't know and need to learn a lot of thing about me.. i think i do but obviously i don't.
I don't know myself like i also barely know the people around me.
I turned the corner and could already see our house (it still feels wierd to call such a beautiful house ours...mine)from here in all its bright blue glory and all I wanted to do was run in and curl up in my bed but that may cause my head to implode on itself, so I choose to walk instead.