The phone call was still going strong.
Adam really wanted to say, "If you love kids so much, how about the Duncan-Adler Formula as your first grandkid? Though I'm not sure you'd vibe with such a trendy grandson, since you'd never figure him out…"
Of course, that was just a thought he kept to himself. Saying it out loud? Two outcomes:
1. Mom Amy would hop on a red-eye with diaper-duty Jenny (Kid #6) and beat the family golden child senseless.
2. Or she'd roll with it, claim the Duncan-Adler Formula as her grandkid, and then demand Adam keep his word and marry Peggy, the "mom."
Knowing Amy, she'd probably do both. 😅
"I'm still a nurse, you know—a damn good one," Amy scoffed over the phone. "Doctors just diagnose; nurses actually heal. So listen up—no matter how fancy your tricks get, there's still a 0.001% chance something goes sideways. As your mom, I'm begging you: let those flukes happen one at a time. Don't let them pile up all at once. I'd be fine, but I'd love to see how you'd handle that headache!"
"Kids say the darndest things, kids say the darndest things…" Adam muttered under his breath in his native tongue.
"What're you mumbling about?" Amy couldn't understand, but her mom-radar pinged hard. She knew he was dissing her.
"Just saying you're forever young and unstoppable, Mom!" Adam said, straight-faced.
"Alright, enough chit-chat," Amy said, rolling her eyes so hard you could hear it. "Teddy's getting married!"
"Oh!" Adam let out a relieved breath. "To who?"
"What kind of big brother are you? You don't even keep tabs on your little sister!" Amy scolded. "It's Spence—wait, hold on!" She paused mid-lecture, covered the phone, and yelled at Bob, lounging on the couch. "It is Spencer who proposed to Teddy, right?"
"Of course…" Bob started casually, newspaper in hand, but then froze mid-sentence. He gave an awkward chuckle. "Uh, lemme call and check."
"Hurry up! I'm still talking to Adam!" Amy barked, all boss-mode, still muffling the receiver.
Eyeroll intensifies. Sure, nobody was 100% sure, but that didn't stop her from claiming the moral high ground and roasting the whole family for being clueless jerks.
"Adam, you're unbelievable, you know that?" After yelling at Bob, Amy took a deep breath, channeling her Good Morning, Galveston audition vibes. She plastered on a smile, uncovered the phone, and unleashed a tirade—buying Bob time to get the facts straight.
"Mom, you know Sheldon's Vulcan hearing, right?" Adam cut in gently. "Mine's even sharper. And, uh, your hand's not exactly soundproof."
"Heh…" Amy let out an awkward laugh. Spotting Bob nodding furiously from the couch, she snapped back to her lofty tone. "I've got no idea what you're talking about, Adam. I'm not saying this to nag, but are you working too hard? Hearing things? Doctors can't treat themselves—get a colleague to check you out. But that can wait. Back to business: your sister Teddy's getting married. Spencer proposed!"
"Oh, really?" Adam smirked. "Where'd he pop the question?"
"…" Amy choked, then got mad. "I don't know! But that's normal—I'm juggling this whole family, big and small. You're the big brother—you not knowing what's up with your sister? That's the problem!"
"Yes, yes," Adam said quickly, backpedaling. "I'll call Teddy later and see what I can do to help."
"Hmph." Amy finally nodded, satisfied.
"Mom, Uncle Bell's right here with me. Wanna say hi to him and Dad?" Adam glanced at Bell Duncan, who was watching with starry-eyed envy.
"Bell?" Amy sounded shocked. "Aren't you at the hospital? Why's he there—Bob!"
"I'm handing the phone to Uncle Bell," Adam said, passing it over.
Bell launched into an awkward rundown of why he was there.
"That's great! Awesome!" Adam caught Bob's relieved cheers through the line.
Clearly, the old Bell Duncan had been the Duncan family's resident headache for years. 😅
Meanwhile, Adam's mind shifted to Teddy and Spencer's wedding, a dangerous glint in his eye.
Yup—he was ticked.
Spencer was playing dirty! Not that he had to run the proposal by Adam, the big brother-in-law, but shouldn't he at least have gotten the okay from the father-in-law first? Judging by Bob having to call and confirm it was even Spencer, this guy was totally off-script.
What a jerk! Even Sheldon—Mr. "I Look Down on All Earthlings"—knew to check in with the dad before proposing. And Spencer couldn't even measure up to Sheldon?
Sure, Bob could seem laid-back, even exasperating at times. But that didn't mean a future son-in-law could just disrespect him like that.
Time for Big Bro Adam to step up and put this fiancé in his place.
No hesitation—Adam got to work. After Bell wrapped up his chat, Adam sent him back to the fertility consult crowd, then bolted to his office. He whipped up the first engagement gift for Teddy and Spencer at lightning speed, then told his assistant Ada to book someone on the fastest flight to LA to deliver it straight to them.
What's "express shipping"? This is express shipping! ✈️
Teddy, the second-youngest Duncan, had headed to LA after graduating from Yale. She was obsessed with Hollywood—even self-funded a music album once. It flopped, but with Adam as her big bro, she had a safety net to keep chasing her dreams without worry.
Spencer, her high school sweetheart, followed her out there after Adam dropped a hint. Their relationship was solid, so Adam didn't have to stress about Teddy getting into any LA weirdness.
Eight hours later…
Teddy and Spencer were basking in their post-engagement bliss when the apartment doorbell rang.
They signed for a package from the far-off East Coast—their first engagement gift. Teddy squealed with delight and immediately called Adam.
"Got the gift?" Adam asked, grinning.
"Yes! Thank you, Adam!" Teddy gushed. "I'm opening it right now!"
In TV-drama land, unwrapping gifts on the spot is just good manners. Plus, Teddy was genuinely hyped, so no risk of fake smiles if she didn't like it.
"No rush, take your time," Adam said before hanging up. "This first wedding gift's mostly for my soon-to-be brother-in-law, Spencer. A warm welcome to the Duncan family!" 😏
(End of Chapter)