POV: Saval
The ceiling of my room looked like a map of cracks that led nowhere. When did everything start to feel so heavy? The afternoon light streamed through the window, cutting the air into golden stripes that failed to warm me. Since the last outing with Semiel, the silence between us had grown like an invisible wall.
I picked up my phone and immediately put it back down. —No —I murmured—. Let him be the one to talk.
But if he's thinking the same thing, we'll never say anything to each other.
I rubbed my temples. The echo of our last words was still hitting me. It wasn't a shouting match, but a series of dry phrases and evasive looks.
I remembered the walk home that night: the two of us side by side, but with miles of distance between us. It was always so easy to be by his side. Why is it so hard to breathe now when I look at him?
The phone vibrated on the table. A message from Mia.
—Hey, are you okay? Semiel isn't answering either.
I didn't reply. The thought of explaining the inexplicable exhausted me. I got up to pour a glass of water. The sound of the liquid in the glass seemed too loud in the stillness.
Maybe all of this is the fault of the rumors. Maybe I'm just letting myself get dragged down.
Pursing my lips, I opened the window. Outside, the campus looked peaceful, as if the world didn't know that something inside me was about to break.
The phone vibrated again. This time it was Semiel. I hesitated before looking. Just a notification: —stream canceled for today—.
—Great —I said quietly—. Just what we need, more distance.
I could text him right now. I could tell him I care. But he might also be thinking that I don't care about anything anymore.
A memory hit me: Semiel's laughter during our last stream, the moment our fingers brushed while adjusting the microphone. That warmth… it can't have just vanished.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway pulled me from my thoughts. David, maybe. I didn't want him to see me like this, with a lost look in my eyes. I closed the window and sat back down on the bed.
Maybe I'm overreacting. We could talk tomorrow. Tomorrow everything could go back to the way it was.
The problem was that tomorrow seemed farther and farther away.
—Idiot —I told myself—. Just send him a message.
I typed: —Can we talk tomorrow?— and left it in drafts. I didn't have the courage to press send.
The sky outside was turning a deep blue. Semiel… are you also looking at the ceiling, thinking the same thing?
The room filled with shadows. I turned on the lamp, but the yellow light didn't dispel the feeling that something was breaking between us, something that not even others could see.
I lay back down, the phone on my chest. If we don't talk, who wins in all this? A pang of distrust crossed my mind. The rumors didn't start themselves. Someone had planted them with precision.
Xavier… Santiago… names I didn't want to think about. But why do I feel like this distance is exactly what they would want.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the whirlwind inside. The silence of the night grew thicker, as if waiting for a decision I wasn't ready to make.
—Tomorrow —I whispered, closing my eyes—. I'll fix it tomorrow.
But even as I said it, a voice in my head murmured that maybe tomorrow would be too late.