[So...] Miguel wrote a single word, leaving the sentence unfinished.
[So I'm telling you to stay away from them, because I'm going to kill them all] Cohen wrote.
[?] Miguel wrote back.
Then, he wrote another sentence:
[You're not Cohen Norton?]
[Is there a conflict between me being Cohen Norton and me wanting to kill the Silver Key members?] Cohen wrote.
[I thought you were a...] Miguel wrote, then hastily scratched it out with ink. [I mean, the Silver Key members said you were an alchemical creation powerful enough to destroy the world. So that was a lie, then?]
[Haven't tried] Cohen wrote. [But I am an alchemical creation. It's just that I still prefer to keep this world intact]
Whether it was because Cohen's conversational skills were lacking or because Miguel was deep in thought, there was a long silence on the slate once again.
After a while:
[Then... can you cure the Fedorot Curse?]
Cohen had never heard of that curse, but it was likely the reason Carlton couldn't walk.
Curing a curse wasn't difficult for Cohen. Most curses affected the body, and he could deal with them quickly by either switching bodies or using liquid curses to fight fire with fire.
Soul curses were more of a pain, as Cohen only had experience eating souls.
[I'll do anything] Miguel wrote hurriedly. [Galleons, rare ingredients, or I could even be your servant... anything. Even... you know... the 'Silver Key' was very pleased with me... I was also very popular at school...]
[????]
Bloody hell, a poof!
What in Merlin's beard was happening? They were just talking about a curse, and now he was offering himself up?
And why would the head of the "Silver Key" want his... well, you know?
And he was "very pleased"...
This world really was just a giant mess.
Sometimes Cohen wanted to take eight days out of the week to cleanse the world of all this nonsense.
[I can try, but I don't need your... you know] Cohen wrote, his mouth twitching. [You just have to tell me the location of the Silver Key members you know, or where they meet]
[Then... should we set a time?]
[This is getting even weirder. I'll go to your place tomorrow]
[You know where I live?]
[The great Lord Cohen knows everything]
Cohen wondered what it felt like for Voldemort every time he said, "Lord Voldemort knows everything." Cohen himself was having a grand time.
That girl, Carlton, was interesting and worth Cohen spending some time to create a body for her.
Voldemort would be furious if he knew that Cohen could create a wizard's body without the Philosopher's Stone or the Elixir of Life...
---
Once he had a goal in mind, Cohen's ability to act was frighteningly efficient. That same night, the "lump of flesh" that would serve as the new body was ready.
It just needed to be shaped, which Cohen would do tomorrow after seeing Carlton.
The next day, Christmas Eve, the Hogwarts Great Hall was filled with Christmas trees adorned with sparkling decorations, all thanks to Hagrid's hard work. The centaurs only ever let Hagrid into the Forbidden Forest to cut down trees.
Hagrid had even offered to give Cohen a tree so he could decorate it for the unicorns to celebrate, but Cohen had refused. The last time he tried to have a Christmas tree in his box, it ended up looking like a murder scene from a horror film, covered in bloody meat and soaked in the unicorns' fermented firewhiskey. From then on, Cohen never brought a Christmas tree inside.
Cohen didn't tell Herbert he was going to Carlton's house, and he didn't need him to come along. He was afraid Herbert might get emotional and get caught up in old memories of children and curses. He couldn't risk Herbert having another breakdown right before Christmas. Cohen thought Herbert might have a case of PTSD from the string of tragedies he'd faced over the years, as he always seemed a bit off whenever he saw him.
In the morning, just as the sun was rising and the air was still a bit warm, Cohen and the Earl arrived at a village on the edge of Devon. The village was full of Christmas spirit, but it was clearly a wizarding village—only wizarding villages in this day and age would build houses with wood and old-fashioned stone bricks.
Carlton and Miguel's house was at the end of a small alleyway, a crooked two-story wooden house. There was an open window on the second floor facing the street, and a fleeting gray shadow. It looked as if someone had just pulled their head back inside.
"Brother! Someone's here! Is it that..."
He could vaguely hear a girl's voice.
"You're calling a teenage girl 'big,' are you?" Cohen whispered to the Earl, who was resting on his shoulder.
"My wife told me so," the Earl said immediately, shifting the blame. "I didn't see it myself—"
Knock, knock, knock.
Cohen knocked on the door.
The door was opened by a thin, gray-haired young man. He was wearing a faded old robe, his eyes were sunken, and he had dark circles. His skin was sallow, and he looked sickly.
When he saw Cohen standing at his doorstep with a briefcase, he froze for a moment, though that expression was perfectly normal for someone who looked so ill.
"You're... Cohen Norton?"
"You don't look as much like a duck as you said..." Cohen said, looking him up and down.
"So, were you actually here for that?" the Earl asked, sounding amused.
"Do you have to make a perverted joke every minute of every day?" Cohen glared at the Earl.
"A talking owl?!" Miguel was startled by the Earl suddenly speaking.
"A Dementor can talk, and you, a member of the Silver Key, are surprised that an owl can?" the Earl retorted.
"Never mind the owl," Cohen said, shooing the Earl off his shoulder. "I'm here for business. Yes, I'm Cohen Norton. Haven't you seen my picture? I thought the Silver Key would send my picture to every member so they could sleep with it."
"Ah... well..." Miguel's face suddenly turned red.
"..." Cohen's expression grew cold, eventually settling into a dead-eyed stare.
What in the blazes are you blushing for?!
Cohen had made up his mind. As soon as he graduated, he was going to take Edward and everyone else and get the heck out of this cursed country.
"Come in... my sister is upstairs..." Miguel said, quickly stepping aside to let Cohen in. "She's the one with the Fedorot Curse..."