"You don't trust me," Sirius said, staring at Cohen.
"Duh, of course I don't trust you, especially after your previous 'I have a plan' gave Peter Pettigrew the chance to pull a double-cross," Cohen said matter-of-factly. "What if you get another one of your crazy ideas?"
"..." Sirius felt like this kid always enjoyed twisting the knife – as if Cohen had no idea how to interact with people. "Then I'll just wait."
"Wait away, Commissioner Gordon," Cohen said casually. "Just don't get picked up as a stray dog out there. The school doesn't allow stray dogs – and hey, you haven't been getting back together with that dog, have you?"
"Of course I wouldn't have anything to do with some random dog!" Sirius retorted angrily. "Wait – who's Gordon?"
But Cohen didn't explain the name to him even as he left.
This world didn't have Batman and Gary Oldman, after all.
Sirius transformed back into the large black dog, expertly navigating the tricky moving staircases and the intricate corridors, leaving the castle through a secret passage.
To anyone outside, he just looked like a dog that some student had kept at the school for years.
Cohen had dealt with Sirius for now. Next up was finding Barty Crouch Jr. around Christmas.
Cohen had no fondness for this fanatical follower of Voldemort. Compared to Peter Pettigrew, Barty Jr. was more proactive, smarter, and a lot more dangerous...
Had to be taken care of.
That was the downside of Voldemort's followers – many of them were fanatics and couldn't be recruited by Cohen.
The Malfoy family was slightly more normal, at least, and had some brains.
But anyway, going to find him was just a cover story for Voldemort. It wasn't like Cohen couldn't actually make a Portkey. Whether Barty Jr. lived or died wouldn't affect the plan. When it came to Death Eaters who could either live or die, Cohen's attitude was always, "If they can die, they should die more often."
After Christmas, he also had to visit Nicolas Flamel's workshop. According to Dumbledore, Nicolas Flamel seemed to be preparing his affairs recently. Cohen wondered what kind of inheritance Nicolas had prepared for him.
All day Sunday, even though Ron kept saying he had "accepted Scabbers' departure," he was still searching everywhere, not even returning to the dorm until late at night.
"Still haven't found him?" Seamus peeked his head out from under the covers.
"No... who can find a rat in a castle anyway..." Ron said dejectedly as he got into bed.
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Cohen didn't reply.
The fake Peter had been controlled by Cohen to sneak into a hole in the wall on the fifth floor. Of course Ron wouldn't find him.
He just had to wait until everything was in place before letting him reappear.
On Monday morning, Harry was finally released by Madam Pomfrey.
However, because his flying broom had been smashed to bits by the Whomping Willow, Harry was still in low spirits. Cohen didn't really understand why Harry wouldn't want to get a better broom – it was just a tool, like a computer graphics card that you had to replace every few years.
It wasn't like Harry was short on Galleons.
Compared to Harry, Ron, who had lost his pet, seemed to have emerged from the gloom more quickly.
On Tuesday evening, he was wishing to Santa Claus in front of the common room fireplace for a new pet.
"Do you want Mr. Frondo?" Cohen asked. "A talking cat, and a really tough one at that. The kind that wouldn't die even if you did."
"I still want a normal pet..." Ron said cautiously.
"Santa Claus doesn't exist, little Ron," Fred and George chimed in, coming over. "We can catch you a few gnomes dressed up as Santa – you can have them as pets."
"Mention that kind of suggestion again and I'll lock you two in a cage!" Ron said fiercely.
"How terrifying," Fred exclaimed dramatically.
"We're going to be kept in a cage," George said sadly. "Ron will feed us five Sickles a week..."
"Looking at it that way, being a pet sounds pretty good?" Fred said, pretending to suddenly realize this. "But having to call someone 'master' is a bit hard to accept—"
"Don't be ridiculous..."
Ron said, pursing his lips.
"You almost tamed us, little Ron," Fred said regretfully. "But we're not here for you – Harry, could you come out for a bit? We've thought of a way to cheer you up."
Fred and George led Harry out of the common room, leaving Ron stewing in annoyance.
"I haven't noticed them ever trying to cheer me up. I'm their brother, you know."
"Brothers are for having fun with," Cohen said reasonably.
Harry hadn't had another chance to go to Hogsmeade, so he hadn't asked Fred and George about the secret passage out of the school.
Cohen figured the "way to cheer you up" that the Weasley twins mentioned was probably the Marauder's Map – the main character really had it good, with the heavens practically showering him with useful items.
Cohen is a Normal Character, Harry is the Cheat Code
On Friday morning, the Earl arrived late with Edward's letter—
"Your dad's sick," the Earl said, dropping the letter next to Cohen, then unceremoniously snatching a chicken leg from Cohen's plate.
"?" Cohen's eyes widened. "Because I asked him to help me make a new instance?"
"Don't know," the Earl mumbled with his mouth full. "He got your letter and then got sick, lying in bed moaning and groaning..."
"Sounds like..." Hermione asked with some concern from the side.
"If he turns into a werewolf, I'll stuff him in my trunk," Cohen said. "But clearly, he's just got a case of the 'sudden onset of the 'I'm too weak to work' syndrome'."
"The atmosphere in your family is really..." Hermione shook her head and continued reading the book propped up in front of her.
"I specifically observed him for several days," the Earl said. "He's been lying in bed for almost a week, moaning and groaning every day – if it's fake, then he's got amazing dedication."
"If it were real, he'd be at St. Mungo's, not at home. Rose wouldn't let him stay home sick," Cohen sighed, opening Edward's letter. "At this rate, he'll become a good-for-nothing who just eats and waits to die."
"Isn't he already?" the Earl asked curiously.
After breakfast, they headed to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom together. Not knowing if Lupin had returned, Harry and Ron stayed outside the door.
"If Snape teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts again, I'm skipping class," Ron said.
"Me too," Harry nodded in agreement.
Neither of them had done the homework Snape had assigned last time.
"You guys, are you two really that attached to Lupin..." Cohen shook his head and peeked into the classroom.
Lupin was back, the dark circles under his eyes even heavier, and he looked completely drained.