[*Ah—*]
Ari's eyes widened.
[*But I don't feel a thing…*]
"Look, you're coming back with me, and we're getting all that alcohol out of your system," Cohen ordered. "One day, when some wizard hits you with a fire spell, you'll wish you'd listened! How old are you now, and still acting this wild?"
Ari figured even if it blew up, it'd be fine. It knew it could piece itself back together even if it got torn apart—those researchers had said as much: "We tried dismembering it, couldn't kill it, so just lock it up."
But since Cohen genuinely seemed worried about it…
[*Fine…*] Ari grumbled reluctantly.
[*What about us?*] the other unicorns wailed. [*If we get drunk, wizards might steal our butts!*]
They'd rather have their butts stolen by wizards than give up drinking?
Cohen felt like his image of unicorns had completely crumbled. Too bad the unicorn leader had actually made a pretty solid first impression on him way back when…
[*Where are you taking Ari?*] The unicorn leader sidled up to Cohen. [*Uh… is it safe there?*]
"?"
Cohen looked into the leader's eyes.
It awkwardly pawed the ground with its hoof.
Cohen had thought about bringing unicorns into his suitcase someday, but he didn't expect it to happen this soon.
"It's safe, sure…"
Cohen dangled the bait, whetting the unicorns' curiosity.
"But it's just a magically enchanted suitcase. If I brought you all along…"
[*It's huge in there,*] Ari cut in. It didn't really want to be stuck inside alone—sure, getting caught red-handed meant no more drinking, but dragging the unicorns along sounded way better than being cooped up with that dim-witted dragon.
[*We want to go with Ari!*] one unicorn shouted.
[*Yeah, together!*] another chimed in.
[*We want to drink!*] a third added.
[*Take us with you!*] the leader urged Cohen. [*We'll help you grow wheat and grapes… and handle the brewing—*]
"Besides drinking, don't you have any other life goals to chase?" Cohen asked. "My suitcase has three snakes, a dragon, a few hundred sheep, and a couple dozen pigs, but that's it. No centaurs, no forest—you'd probably get pretty—"
[*Even better!*] the unicorn who'd just said it wanted to go with Ari cheered. [*Centaurs are always nagging us to stop drinking…*]
"…"
Cohen could already imagine how the centaurs felt.
[*Take us, take us…*] A little unicorn foal—the one that had once given Cohen a flower—hopped over, tugging at his robe with its teeth. [*I'll grow pretty flowers for you!*]
"Are you a nightmare or a succubus or what…" Cohen muttered through gritted teeth at Ari.
Whatever Ari was, the unicorns were dead-set on leaving the forest now. Cohen was taking Ari, and without Ari, their "safety after group drinking sessions" was toast. Plus, they figured Cohen's hideout had to be safer than the forest—wizards and poachers popped up here all the time, but Cohen's suitcase sounded like a total escape from the world.
"Alright, fine," Cohen agreed.
Now he'd have unicorn hair on tap whenever he wanted, and they'd add a touch of righteousness to his suitcase. With a fire dragon, basilisks, and a nightmare in there, the evil vibes were getting out of hand—time to balance it out.
[*Ding! Sin Points +300*]
[*Note: This is abduction, plain and simple!*]
It's a mutual agreement, okay?!
Cohen thought the system was malfunctioning. No matter what he did, it pegged him as a bad guy. Fine, sin points it is—sin points could buy souls, after all.
"I'll go grab the suitcase. Want to say goodbye to the other creatures—?" Cohen tested the waters.
[*No way,*] the unicorn leader said "wisely." [*If the centaurs find out, they'll stop us. We've got to sneak off…*]
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The Forbidden Forest unicorns are lucky to have a leader like you, huh! Cohen had to fight to keep his face straight.
He left the forest again, heading back to the castle to grab his suitcase. The Quidditch match was still going—dragging on way longer than usual. Normally, it'd be over in under half an hour…
Looked like a real nail-biter this time.
On his way back, Cohen spotted Xavier pleading for help at Hogwarts' entrance, but thanks to a spell, Xavier didn't recognize him anymore.
"I don't know what happened. When I came to, I was lying on the grass outside Hogwarts…" Xavier was explaining to Filch. "I'm guessing someone attacked me—you've got to write this down, Argus. When I head to the Three Broomsticks, you'll need to back me up with Darren and Mark…"
"I don't have time for that," Filch snapped. "Bernhard, you know I never go to pubs—"
"We old workers stopped caring about Squibs ages ago—honestly, most of us have forgotten all those spells by now," Xavier said with a casual wave. "You don't have to spend your whole life hung up on a few dumb jokes they made…"
"You little brat, what are you doing here?!" Filch cut Xavier off, his glare shooting past him to land on Cohen, who was trying to slip by.
"Heading back to the castle," Cohen said, blinking innocently. "It's the weekend, you know."
"Aren't you lot supposed to be at the match?"
Filch squinted, scanning Cohen's robes up and down, probably fishing for an excuse to slap him with detention.
Too bad for him—Cohen had already hit his robes with a cleaning charm. No trace of his little outing.
"The match was boring, so I came back early," Cohen said. "I don't even ride brooms—Dumbledore canceled that class for me."
"How long have you been standing there?" Filch growled. "What'd you hear?"
"Argus, what's this kid done wrong?" Xavier asked, puzzled. "Why do you seem so…"
"Get back to your pub and quit causing trouble here!" Filch barked, turning his frustration on Xavier too.
Seeing Filch wasn't in the mood, Xavier gave up and left.
"What you just overheard was us talking about… uh… someone…" Filch huffed, "from somewhere else."
Got it, got it—the old "I've got a friend" excuse.
But Cohen wasn't about to get tangled up with Filch. He still had unicorns to smuggle.
Wonder how mad Dumbledore and the centaurs would be when they noticed all the Forbidden Forest unicorns had vanished…
*(End of Chapter)*