Meanwhile, up on the roof, Toothless and One Eye had flapped off and hidden in The American Dream when they heard the noise of Hiccup falling into the Onion Soup, and the Hysteric Warriors charging outside to look for other Assassins.
When things grew quiet again, they flew back to the chimney. Both dragons were cold, hungry, and tired. One Eye's eye gleamed golden-yellow in the darkness.
"Shall we leave them?" One Eye mused to himself. "It look like they haven't found the cure for Vorpentitis after all...and I'm not hanging around here just to save the skin of a couple of stinking Humans..."
"S-s-selfish Humans! grumbled Toothless. They n-n-never think of poor, cold H-H-H-HUNGRY Toothless!"
One Eye snorted. "Well, I don't blame them for that. You're 163 just a lap-dragon, an overgrown rat. And YOU shouldn't be hungry anyway. Who ate all the snacks in the sleigh on the way here, I'd like to know?"
"...I'll give them till morning," One Eye decided, letting the rope attached to his leg flop down the chimney and into the Great Hall again, and settling himself in the snow to sleep on the roof. "My aunt Snaggletooth died of Vorpentitis, and it's a nasty way to go."
"Toothless not s-s-sieeping here!" moaned Toothless, outraged. "Iss too cold! Toothless D-D-DELICATE, sensitive ..." He checked whether the big dragon was really asleep. One Eye gave a deep rumbling snore and Toothless carried on, "... not like YOU, you big, white, gormless mountain gorilla..." One Eye's one eye snapped open, and his big Saber-Toothed jaws lashed out toward Toothless ... but they shut on thin air, for Toothless had the reflexes of a bluebottle, and he had already tumbled down through the hole in the roof. Toothless soared into the Great Hall, over the 164 heads of the sleeping, mumbling Hysterics, and landed on top of Hiccup's cage. The cage swung violently to the right, and Hiccup's head banged sharply on one of the bars, waking him up.
"Ow!" protested Hiccup, looking straight into the upside-down greengage eyes of his pet dragon. "Toothless!" he whispered joyfull.
"Thank Thor you're here; you see how right I was to bring you--you can save the day!" "HA!" grunted Toothless crossly. "Just flap over to that big frozen Viking over there, will you and steal the potato, and then we'll be off..." whispered Hiccup.
Toothless looked where Hiccup was pointing, to Norbert's Papa, Bigjob, and the casket, and gave a shriek of terror.
[Image: Dragons.] "S-s-squealers!" he gasped, and jumped into the cage, burying his face in Hiccup's leg.
"Oh, goodness, yes, I'd forgotten. Squealers can kill a dragon as small as you, can't they?" remembered Hiccup, soothing the little dragon by 165 stroking him on the back. "OK, don't steal the potato, but the key to this cage is in Norbert the Nutjob's pocket, and if you could just flap off and get it ..."
But Toothless had smelled the Onion Soup on Hiccup's leg, and he gave it a lick. "Onion S-s-soup!" said Toothless accusingly. "You bin eating Onion S-s-soup!"
"Yes, Yes," said Hiccup hurriedly, "I fell in the soup, but about the key --" But this was the last straw as far as Toothless was concerned. He was FURIOUS, and he swelled up to nearly twice his size with anger, and flew out of the cage like an infuriated little balloon.
"SNOT fair! SNOT fair!" snorted Toothless.
"You been stuffing yourself with Onion S-s-soup and poor T-t-toothless STARVING and now you want Toothless to f-f-face a whole load of Squealers with no food in his t-t-tummy? TYPICAL! Well, you can 166 just WAIT, that's all...Toothless'll have his supper and THEN maybe he'll help you out ..."
"TOOTHLESS!" whispered Hiccup, as loud as he dared, "THIS IS IMPORTANT! GET THAT REY RIGHT NOW OR I'LL...I'LL...I'LL..."
"You'll what?" jeered Toothless cheekily, flapping out of Hiccup's way as he desperately tried to grab Toothless's tail through the bars of the cage.
Sticking out his little pink forked tongue, Toothless hopped down onto the banqueting tables and tucked into the roast buffalo pie, ignoring Hiccup's furious, frustrated whispers from the cage swinging a couple of meters above.
"Toothless can't hear!" sang Toothless through a mouthful of pumpkin.
"Got s-s something in his ear!
Oooooh, that rhymes ...Toothless ca-a-an't he-ar, got something in his e-ar! Toothless ca-a-an't he ar, got something in his e-ar!"
And for the next five minutes, Toothless pretended to be quite deaf, and took his time hopping from plate to plate, gorging himself on 167 deep-fried mackerel, turkey wings, and sweetcorn fritters.
Eventually, he swallowed the last remains of the pie, took a big swig of the Homemade Nettle Champagne, burped, and rubbed his stomach contentedly.
"That's b-b-better. Toothless can hear now. Wossat you saying?"
"WILL YOU GET THAT KEY FROM NORBERT THE NUTJOB'S POCKET BEFORE HE MURDERS US?"
hissed Hiccup at the top of his whisper.
"S-s-say pretty please pretty please ...," sang Toothless.
"Pretty please," whispered Hiccup through gritted teeth.
"OK, OK, keep your hair on," said Toothless, and he took off (rather wobbly, because he had eaten so much), and crash-landed on Norbert the Nutjob's chest. Luckily, Norbert was so dead to the world he merely grunted, and hugged his axe a little closer.
Giggling, Toothless snipped off both of Norbert the Nutjob's fancy mustaches with two bites of his sharp little gums, and then he staggered into Norbert's pocket and pulled out the key.
168 Toothless marched across the banqueting table with the key in his mouth, spitting it out every now and then to make pointed remarks to Hiccup.
"Is TYPICAL," snorted Toothless. "T-t-typical. Poor old starving T-t-toothless, woken up from his H-h-hibernation Nap just to save the day YET AGAIN."
Toothless put the key back in his mouth, and this time, his large, overfull belly prevented him from seeing exactly where he was putting his feet, and he tripped over a knife lying in the middle of the table.
169 Toothless lurched forward, knocking a candle off the table and onto the floor, where it promptly set fire to a polar bear rug. He did a couple of somersaults, spinning over and over until he landed bottom first in the wild boar stew, and ... swallowed the key.
[Image: Dragons.] [Insert: gulp Gulp.] 170