Time for a filler chapter.
I mean—
Time for a chapter of solo retrospecting!
Where to begin? We haven't done this in a while, have we?
Have you missed these banters that we've shared in the past?
No?
That's a shame.
Anyways—
My first day back to school was surprisingly normal. That is, it would be to a normal person. But someone like me, someone who never reaches out to people, finds today to have been rather odd, considering that I conversed with people whom I barely know. Sure, I've known Olympia and Kumiko for over an eternity, but these two of this iteration are people I've only known for less than a week.
Yet, we talked as if we'd known each other for a lifetime. As if we were old friends.
I want to consider them my friends, I do, but it's hard. It's hard looking at the faces that were the reason for my eternal punishment.
This is my eternal punishment.
I borrowed that line from a game I love—Eternal Punishment.
The name always stuck with me. In its prequel, Innocent Sin, there's a quote I think about often.
The passage goes:
Worse than alone?
Exiled.
Worse than exiled?
Dead.
Worse than dead?
There's one more line said, but I'll refrain from sharing it; I'd like you to fill in the blank yourself.
But what could be worse than this curse we know as death?
What is death?
Death is what happens when there is no life. No, I don't think that's an apt description. Take, for instance, this home that I'm currently in. Oh? Did I forget to mention that I've arrived home after saying goodbye to Olympia and Kumiko? I'm a half-assed narrator, huh?
This home that I'm in is not alive, but we would not describe it as dead.
Life and death are discussed when talking about organic beings, but not inorganic beings.
My phone died.
This light bulb died.
The crowd's laughter died down.
These things are not organic, but we still describe them as being dead. However, unlike organic beings, they can return to life.
You can charge your phone.
You can replace the light bulb.
Something funny could occur or be said that revives people's laughter.
But if Olympia were to die, I wouldn't be able to charge her to bring her back to life. I wouldn't be able to tell a funny joke or do something funny to bring her back to life.
But I've done something that can bring her back to life.
I've done something that has brought her back to life.
I replaced her.
I replaced everyone and everything.
This home that I'm in.
The school that I attend.
My parents, whom I ignore too often.
My sister, whom I take for granted.
Kumiko, whom I don't know whether I hate or love.
Olympia, whom I don't know whether I love or hate.
Both make me feel…strange.
Ashamed. Disappointed. Loved.
Is death that bad? You get to experience life all over again after, you know, unbearable, agonizing pain. But after that, you get to see all your loved ones. Okay, they're not you're loved ones, but a replacement, and none of them know that you're a fool who killed yourself over and over just to see one person again.
I don't know if I regret my act of suicide, but a part of me still wonders how my life would have been if I had never made that wish with Kagami that turned into a giant, unfunny joke.
The weight on my shoulders wouldn't have increased tenfold.
My parents that I ignore and the sister I take for granted would still be my parents that ignore and the sister I take for granted.
What would have happened to Kumiko?
Would her crimes have been discovered? If they had, what would've been her fate? Her punishment.
Is that world still spinning?
The first world in which I committed suicide.
Whatever happened? I doubt much. My parents and sister likely moved on quickly; I never gave much care to them, so there's no reason for them to do the same. Kumiko probably ended up getting arrested, put on trial, and thrown into jail or something. The world kept spinning. My existence played no great role in that world. I was nothing but a bother.
How sad.
When is something dead?
When is something considered dead?
I've died, yet come back to life. In ways that I am still not completely sure of. Nonetheless, I have been able to escape remaining dead. But was I ever truly alive?
My role in life was minimal, practically nonexistent.
Not including myself with anyone or anything. According to Olympia, she knew of me. But considering who she is, she likely knows everyone. She has to. She's perfect. She needs to know whom she may randomly run into to strike up a conversation with them. Like she did with…me?
Is that how she's been able to talk easily with me? She learned about me just so she'd know how to interact with me?
Oh.
That's it, isn't it?
It wasn't because I'm me, but by the luck of fate, or personalities were able to mesh well. That's how she is with everyone.
She just happened to run into me one day and proceeded with her plan.
I wish the relationship between Olympia and me had not had to have been planned out, whether by the perfect being Olympia or the cruelty of fate.
I wish she had chosen to talk to me because I'm me, not someone else.
I wish—
Kwondzuvai undovartsu wronduwail
What's that? I'm getting a phone call? Yes, that's my new ringtone. I hope we get some sort of animated series so you can hear this lovely tune. Hopefully, we can use this song. Can I even use it now?
Tjortetei jeki liago
I pick up the phone.
"What the hell makes you think you can narrate instead of picking up the phone as soon as possible?" Olympia yells, practically causing my eardrums to rupture. I'll have to make a doctor's appointment.
"Sorry. It's rather late for you to call, though. It's nearing midnight. You shouldn't expect me to answer right away."
"I know that around this time, you waste a chapter by spouting random crap. I mean, you retrospect! But I have a request."
"I'll do it. Whatever it is."
"I need your liver."
"I regret my life choices…"
"Just kidding. I need you to meet me at the park. You know which one I'm talking about, right? The one we picnicked at yesterday, you, me, and Kumiko."
"Of course, I remember which park." It's the same one that the previous iteration of Olympia picnicked at. Wait, Kumiko was there too, now that I think about it. So was Kagami. Funny, the same scenario repeated, almost the same way. Luckily, not fully. "I didn't expect you to want to go on another date so soon, though. Especially to a place we've already gone."
"It's not for a date," she responds seriously, "sorry, but there's no time to joke right now. Meet me there once it strikes midnight. Thank you for letting me trouble you."
She hangs up.
I need to sneak out of my home.
Not like I've never done this before.
But something tells me this time, it'll be different.