I'm alone in a world of white. No walls. No floor. No end. The air is weightless here, carrying no warmth, no chill—just nothing. My footsteps make no sound, as if the ground itself refuses to acknowledge me.
I can't tell where I came from, where I am, or where this world ends
Ah, I've finally remembered. I'm alone in a world of white…and I have a feeling I know why.
So, is this heaven?
I thought angels would occupy heaven, but I'm alone here.
So, is this hell?
Most people picture hell as some fiery place where your soul is tortured for all of eternity, like the Nether.
But that's not what hell is like. Not exactly. Hell isn't a place filled with flames. It's a place disconnected from God for all of eternity. So in a sense, hell is a place where your soul is tortured for all of eternity.
But, this doesn't feel like torture.
This feels nice. This feels comforting; it's as if I belong here.
I don't ever recall having a place like this. A place that I can call home.
As nonchalant and mysterious as I like to think I am, I haven't always been a complete loner.
I've had a friend before.
Her name was… What was her name again?
I'm beginning to forget quite a bit after spending some time here. How long has it even been? How much time has passed? Hmm, I can't remember certain things now, but I have a vague memory of me and my ex-friend.
We were at the observatory at night. We lay on the ground as the stars in the sky served as a baby's mobile to us. Could we recognize any of the constellations? I can't even remember what words were exchanged between us.
What I do remember, however, is the feeling of comfort I felt just by knowing that she was there right next to me.
For that particular moment, we were together.
I remember hearing something like if an alien 65 million light-years away sees Earth through a powerful telescope, they can see "dinosaurs".
I somewhat understand what this means, but it's hard for me to explain.
Are the stars that she and I looked upon that night light from a star as they were thousands of years ago?
Are there any stars gazing upon her and me at that moment right now? No, before I was killed.
Did that day even occur?
Did that moment even happen?
Have I ever even existed?
What if all this time I was here, in this white room, or perhaps I should say world? White World. Have I been in this White World all this time and merely dreamt that my life happened?
Would it be best if this were the truth? That means all of my feelings of loneliness never occurred. All of my pain and sadness never happened.
But also, those brief moments of happiness would never have occurred.
My time with my old ex-friend.
The single conversation I shared with Olympia and even Kagami.
And the future interactions I could have had with other people.
I probably should have thought longer about my wish.
Wait, is this a result of my wish?
Yes, it is! It makes sense now. How could I have forgotten my wish? I only wished for it not so long ago.
Right?
How long has it been since I've died?
Wait—
Wait a second.
A minute.
An hour.
A day.
A week.
A month.
A year.
Eternity—
This isn't the first time I've rambled on to myself. I've done this before. This isn't even my second, third, or fourth time either. I can't say how many times I've had this conversation with myself, but I know for certain I've done this multiple times.
How much time must have passed for me to forget?
If this were a novel, this must be a zetta boring chapter to sit through. I wish Kagami were here to catch that reference.
Look at me, pretending to break the fourth wall in an attempt to cope with the cruelty of eternity.
Would reading this be like watching the Endless Eight arc? Not to hate on the series, but that was a drag to watch. I watched five of those episodes at 2x speed. That movie was super good though—
What was I talking about before this ramble?
If I've forgotten about it, it probably doesn't matter.
As comforting as this White World is, I'm starting to feel like it's missing something.
Oh right! It's missing people. It's been so long I've forgotten about everyone else. Hmm, but where is everyone? If I forge ahead, will I be able to find anyone? Well, it's worth a shot.
And thus, Kiyomi forges ahead.
With each step, the air feels the same—empty, indifferent—yet I can't shake the thought that I'm the one intruding.
In this White World, where there is nothing in sight in all directions, I take a step forward. In hopes of finding someone. Hopefully, it's not Kagami. She'll probably find some way to sexually harass me. Hopefully, it's not Olympia. She'll probably find some way to make me feel worse about being a coward. Hopefully, it's—Wait, how do I remember these people? It's been so long, I should have forgotten about them by now.
But I haven't. Although they were in my life for only a fraction of the time, they've left an imprint on my heart. Did I leave some sort of imprint on their hearts, too?
Maybe if the last part of my wish were to come true, I'd have a chance of leaving a mark on them, no matter how small my footprint is.
Olympia…if I return, I won't be a coward. I'll face reality head-on, feel everything—the joy, the pain—and live like a human. I'll find comfort not in empty worlds, but in standing beside you
Kagami, I'll entertain you until I physically and mentally can't. I'll play along with your antics and make you smile and laugh more. And yes, I'll still tease you about your chest—because some things never change.
And to the ex-friend I can barely remember… I'll search for that same comfort I once felt beneath the stars.
Even though it took me so long to realize what I should do, if I get another chance, I'll make the most of it.
It's time to get out of bed, stretch, and go on with my day.
Finally, after an eternity—after a mere moment—I woke up to the sound of my heartbeat.