"You know, I feel like someone who got sent to the boonies for insubordination with a lame excuse. The kind of punishment you get for not listening that isn't technically a punishment but everyone knows it is one."
I was perched atop a dry stone wall, watching the Sun set against verdant hills and distant frosted peaks. Out here, it was even colder than London, which I failed to account for completely, and even the grass and trees grew terribly rigid. The chill wind seeped in through several layers of clothing, carrying with it the scent of wet earth, critters, and quite possibly animal dung.
The Mystery was pronouncedly 'thicker' out here and magical energies flowed freely, seeping through the very dirt. There was even a noticeable lean towards traditional witchcraft, druidism... and tricks? A shame I had no magecraft capable of taking advantage of the land's own nature. Well... at least it wouldn't interfere with my other spells.
My Professor had, quite literally, sent me to the middle of bumfuck nowhere to find a rogue magus. I knew this was definitely meant to distract me, keep me away from the Clock Tower. A way to prevent me from causing further damage and away from the powers that be.
Honestly, his heart was in the right place too.
"It was a wise decision on Lord El-Melloi II's behalf." My partner in crime answered matter-of-factly, leaning against the wall.
Perhaps due to the unique proclivities the Edelfelts were notorious for, the weather bothered her a lot less. She wore a sleeveless low cut dress slit from the thigh that showed off her stocking-covered thighs and a decidedly small, white furcoat, the gaudy kind of course, to protect her arms and back from the cold.
Also, aviators.
For some reason, aviators... even though the Sun was setting and it'd be dark soon.
The same make as mine.
Anyway, I leered at her ti-
"...Enthralled?"
I put on my Yuji face.
"Yeah. I ain't tryna lie or deny it."
She shook her head with a soft laugh. "Why of course, that is how it must always be. It is I, after all."
"So you didn't dress special for our adventure date? Here I thought I mattered more..."
"I never said-..." Her bravado was gone with the wind, in its place was someone who was still fairly shy when it came to genuine compliments from me despite our regular 'meet-ups'. Well, not to say I wasn't the same in that regard. Luvia ducked her head. "I did..."
This time, it was my turn to be amused.
"D-Don't act like you don't start stumbling over yourself every time I change clothes."
She got me. Damn. I folded instantly and dropped the teasing.
With a heave, I jumped off the wall and eyed the dirt trail we'd been following thus far instead. There was farmland on either side, marked by sporadic tree lines or drystone walls. I even saw a good number of sheep and cattle grazing in grass plains.
Beyond a doubt, the Professor had sent me to the countryside. The actual countryside. After a nearly four hour long commute via bus, through Birmingham and parts of Manchester, we arrived in Northern Yorkshire. After that, it was a couple of hours of walking in sparsely populated land.
The last time I'd seen a living breathing person was two hours ago, when we passed by the second stone-laid settlement.
How the hell he received ANY news about this place was straight up beyond me. I couldn't even find it on any map.
"I am going to throttle that damn nerd when we get back." I scratched the back of my head.
"Again, it was a necessary and good measure. I know for a fact that you would attack one of the Twelve Lords given enough time." Luvia explained calmly, treading beside me. "This is not to say I hold any doubts about your victory however. It's simply become impossible to. If I'm honest, it makes me feel a bit inadequate in comparison... I... I have nothing to offer in exchange for what you bring to my family. It leaves me quite stumped sometimes."
I shrugged my hands, "Get good then."
Luvia met my snark with a smile. "I will. I promise."
What was with this girl?
Here I was, trying my damndest to reach a high rank so that she could feel no shame in being with me. Meanwhile, she... was thinking she had to offer me goods in exchange for my continued affection for her, ashamed she didn't have enough to give. That was pretty weird. But, damn if it wasn't adorable as hell.
"Luvia, you don't have to give me anything."
She really didn't, but she did. Luviagelita was acting as my shield, protecting both me and my family while asking nothing in return except that I care. That was attractive beyond measure. I only hoped she didn't put herself in too much danger in trying to 'keep up'. There was no status quo between us at this point, or a need to adhere to a transactionally fair give-and-take.
I... simply cared too much for her for any of that.
She averted her gaze. "And you don't need any particular standing, I-I would love you all the same."
I knew that. But, she was nobility. There were probably political issues and losses if she was with a commoner for her house. Or, so it would have been before. I wasn't blind. With my current reputation, that was no longer an issue. The Mage's Association was more like to believe I was the bastard child of some ancient lineage over the simple fact that my circuits and eyes were a spontaneous phenomenon... granted, such an occurrence WAS exceedingly rare.
And, even if they did take issue with me being 'lower' class, with my quantity and quality of magic circuits, any noble was lucky to be graced by my presence. I was the Honore-... er... anyway... There was nothing to stop us from staying together other than ourselves.
Shaking my head of those thoughts, I returned to bothering Luvia with mundane topics.
"Say Luvia, do you beat your chest when you start a fight?"
"Did you just call me a-...? Very rich. Especially when it comes from someone whose head is about to be classified as a scientific mystery. Of course, to you everyone else must seem like that. You know how they say... To a madman, everyone else must seem mad instead."
"Crazy. A princess with a collection of pokemon merch-"
She grew red. "I told you that in confidence!"
"You're a weeb, babe. Accept it."
"A...Am not."
"You literally catch every single episode of that one kid's show the second it airs-"
"You watch it with me!"
"What's next, princess? You used to fantasize about marrying a rough-hewn commoner instead of posh noble?"
Luvia immediately turned her head aside, flushed.
"...Wait, for real?"
Her reddened ears twitched.
"Noice." I gave her a thumbs up. "That must mean I'm a dream."
Mechanically, she turned to face me, "A psychologist will probably apologise to every single person he diagnosed with narcissism once he meets you. No, maybe they'll test a head that abnormally big for cancer first-"
Woah.
Unfortunately, before I could fire back, we finished rounding the curved path and a small 'town' came into view. The population must have been no more than a couple hundred seeing as the place was just a bunch of ancient brick houses with slanted roofs huddled together against a gentle hill. A river flowed nearby, carving through copious amounts of farmland dotted with old-age mills.
The design... the architecture... it felt like I'd come across some medieval recreation for a movie set or a fair over some town.
Then, my eyes caught a paved road leading up to the town... on the opposite side. There was even a bridge built over the river.
"Did... Did I just walk all the way for no reason again?"
"Pft-"
"Damn you! This wouldn't have happened if you brought a helicopter."
"The whole point is to keep you away from the Clock Tower. The longer time it takes, the better." Luviagelita threw her head back and did her rich girl laugh, holding the back of her hand against her face. "Hal, don't tell me you disliked our walk together?"
Gah... she was right. I loved it.
"Alright, you win this time." I shook my head and began the journey into town-... even calling it a town felt wrong.
Thankfully, the people were dressed normally, in modest but modern fashion. I'd been half-expecting them to be wearing tunics and tabards from the 13th century. They certainly took notice of us, but that was mostly because we stood out like a pair of sore thumbs here, among these people. Other than lingering gazes and hushed whispers however, no one actually approached us. In fact, they even seemed a bit nervous as we walked past.
"These people... they're either not very used to strangers or..." Luviagelita discreetly motioned towards a man that left the second he saw us, "Or something's wrong."
I ran a hand through my hair, "Nah... they've probably never seen someone as hot as me so they don't know what to do."
Luvia snorted. "Of course, it's certainly that when their people have been going missing. Regardless, I suspect we'll find out soon enough."
In such a small town, everyone knew everyone. Soon enough, the whole population would be aware of our presence if we stayed... including the possible perpetrator. People did love to yap after all, myself included. I hoped he or she attacked us outright when that inevitably happened.
"Alright, we should find some lodgings for the night."
Before I could complain about how that was a boring idea, we were interrupted. A tall bald man stepped between us from behind. His aged face was marked by odd scars on his left cheek and a particularly nasty one across his lips, and his gaze held genuine ferocity, the kind I saw in Svin sometimes. I didn't know he was... but I did have an inkling as to his affiliation.
"That will not be necessary, magus of the Clock Tower. This matter is ours to resolve."
I had no idea how he even noticed when neither of us… oh yeah, nevermind. He didn't know. It was just better to say that then apologise if wrong then actually risk a magus being there… for these lot at least.
Yep.
The cassock gave it away immediately. Then there was the rosary hanging from his neck... and the general disgust he was looking at us with. That was the sort of face I'd expect from someone who stepped in shit.
Hm... maybe heretics were the same to these crazed lot.
"I don't think so," I met his glare with a curious grin. "Anyone ever told you frowning so much can cause hair loss or am I too late?"
"I have four more of my brothers here. You are outmatched. Leave, so the flimsy peace that lets you heretics draw breath holds."
I stared at Luvia. She stared back at me. We both stared at the priest.
"Shut up, baldie."
"Humble yourself, hullu sika."
For reference, even I didn't know what she actually said... but usually, when she insulted someone in her native tongue, it was some incredibly vile thing to say having to do with pigs or monkeys.
"Imagine thinking threatening teenagers is tough. What? Am I too old for you to try to cop a feel?"
"He's probably disgusted because he thought we were eleven. I dread what would have happened if Reines was here."
I was so proud of Luvia right now. She was even throwing shade at Reines even though that midget wasn't even here. Apparently, they was some kind of competition between them to see which one was meaner.
"A servant of the Lord is not insulted by cheap words from ingrates."
At that, I cackled like a madman.
"Buddy you have a vein popping out on that dome of yours."
"A question, does it reflect light during the day?"
Instead of taking the bait and attacking us after telling us to fuck off, the adult priest simply held up a hand.
"I see I can not convince you with words. Very well. As this land is not part of our jurisdiction, I will not insist further. But, do not hinder our purpose within this town. Do so, and you give me reason to enact the Lord's will upon you apostates as I will upon the creature we seek here."
With those words, he walked away, fists clenched. His footsteps were unusually heavy... and for a fact, he felt a lot more dangerous compared to Mark.
Hmm...
Things had gotten a lot more interesting all of a sudden.
If the Holy Church was here, then there was definitely something of worth to find in this small town.
"Alright, let's go find us a hotel."
Apparently, girls also got really horny. It was a crazy thing to find out. My totally normal words made her whimper and clutch my arm with a hand.
"Mm."
"You naughty-"
"I-I thought you meant-"
-
Hope you enjoyed.
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