A/N: 500 and I'll drop an extra chapter. Also, review? Anyone?
Yeah uh, he made infinity in the latest chapter.
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Caren, or, Caren Hortensia as she introduced herself, was a genuine menace to society, a public enemy, that became apparent within the first hour of getting acquainted with her.
She, more than once, 'accidentally' tripped me over, or bumped into some roadmen and then pointed them my way. The crazy girl even picked up some homeless person's money when he wasn't looking after giving him half a pound.
Even I would never do that.
And it wasn't like she needed that money either, the chick was pretty loaded. No, she just did it for the love of the game. All while keeping up a gentle smile, a soft voice, and a kind gaze. It was like watching a Krishna that embraced the dark side.
"This is why fathers are important." I nodded to myself as we walked down a road dangerously close to the Clock Tower for someone in a nun's garb.
Caren looked me up and down. "Perhaps you're right, mister kidnapper. But, I suppose that's one trait we both seem to share."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Heh."
"Wait... you just called me fatherless?"
"A servant of the Lord wouldn't dare be so rude." She put a hand over her chest. "These sorts of 'truths' are best kept close to the heart."
...She just shamelessly did it again. From her eyes, I could tell she knew I knew, and she simply did not care. I also knew that if I were to reply, she probably had ten more rounds in the chamber to fight back with.
"Maybe." I acknowledged. "You church folk keep a lot of these truths close to the heart, don't you? Particularly those about children."
"I don't know what you speak of." She denied easily. "Are you sure a magus has any place to talk? What with how you treat your own children?"
Fair.
In the society of magi, children were more one's property than anything, and no one held the right to question their treatment, no matter how harsh it was. That was why no one batted an eye when Flat's parents repeatedly tried to spawn camp him, or Svin's experimented on him to the point where the guy had trouble discerning his own humanity.
So long as it was kept under wraps, magi were free to do what they wanted.
But, in a way, that was true for most horrible acts in the world. Not worth any real thought as I was now.
"You only need to feed me once every two days, and I can sleep on the floor." Caren said suddenly, hands over her stomach. "I would like it if you didn't subject me to any torture, but I think I can take whatever your deviant apostate mind comes up with."
...
"Um... Who do you think I am?"
I was genuinely dumbfounded.
"That is what you were thinking about, right? About how you wanted to stuff something in my mouth-'
I looked around. We were getting a decent bit of scrutiny from passers-by, mostly because she refused to lower her volume. There was even a tall policeman discretely stepping closer and closer with a hand over the baton strapped to his belt.
"People are starting to look at us."
Not that I cared, but it was a convenient excuse. It didn't work.
"I'm sorry for speaking out of turn. Please don't hurt me."
"You listen here-!"
The policeman put a hand on my shoulder and yanked me back... She smirked.
"Look at her! She's laughing!"
"Sir! Stop resisting!"
Pursing my lips, I 'gently' shoved him into a flower shop and threw Caren over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes before bolting off in a random direction.
"Somebody stop that man! He's a sex trafficker!"
I WAS A-... WHAT?!
Unlike the typical magi, I didn't know a single mental suggestion or memory alteration spell and Mama Smith was definitely going to beat my ass if she had to bail me out of jail. So, I could only keep running, narrowly avoiding the pedestrians and then cars as we crossed a busy intersection that forced the policeman to slow down just enough for me to tack on a bit of reinforcement and escape.
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"Mister Sex Trafficker, will you sell me to your deviant friends?"
"I wouldn't do that! Also, don't call me a sex trafficker, you demon!"
"My, a demon is a bit too far. I am a member of the Holy Church."
"I can see why Mark was so ready to hand you off."
"Father Mark is an unusually lazy person, after all. I believe he's probably sleeping in that Church... or eating pizza or something along those lines. I'm afraid I'm not that well acquainted with him."
"...Then don't slander the guy."
She quietly put a spoonful of her pastry in her mouth, eyeballing me as she chewed. I sat across from her, my head in my hands. Coincidentally, we were sitting outside the same cafe I'd helped out at Waver's request.
I was supposed to deal with this girl for a good bit of the foreseeable future, for the whole hunt for Sancraid Phahn, and she'd already gotten me chased down by both roadmen and then the fucking police.
Honestly, it was pretty exciting.
I felt I could get along with her.
"He spent the whole of yesterday flirting with the staff at an arcade... He made me sit in the children section."
"You are a child though... also, arcades have those?"
She averted her gaze. "...I'm fifteen, not a child."
"Says every fifteen year old ever. Next, you're gonna say, I'm not like the other fifteen year olds." I chuckled.
"He made me sit in the daycare for staff children."
She went completely silent after that, eating in silence. Clearly, she enjoyed making people uncomfortable. What she didn't know however, was that I enjoyed it even more than her. So, I stared at her with a small grin the whole time, making the situation as awkward as possible... for her.
Unfortunately, it did absolutely NOTHING to her. She just sat there and ate, completely unfazed.
"Dammit." I punched my table. "We'll get them next time."
"Who's we? Are you having hallucinations? This is why weak-minded people shouldn't interact with forces beyond their comprehension." She didn't even let me reply, wiping her mouth with a tissue before continuing. "I don't think you want to stay around me for any longer than you have to, so let's talk about our mission now."
Honestly, I wanted to win at least one verbal exchange but I figured I had more than enough time for that so I kept my silence.
"According to the information Father Mark shared, Sancraid is still in New York. We can confirm his location once we reach the city so this is irrelevant. Sancraid Phahn is an Executor specifically trained to tackle supernatural threats. Thanks to his unique barrier, magecraft is completely ineffective against him so I suggest coming up with countermeasures beforehand."
I leaned in, propping my chin up on my hand, "Do you have anything for that?"
"I'm only suitable for a fight against daemons."
"So you're useless."
She narrowed her eyes, "Uniquely disposed."
"Useless."
"... I have a specific skillset-"
"That sounds like cope."
"..."
I got the distinct feeling I was going to end up paying for that somehow... later down the line.
"We do have competent connections in the city, and if you have a Mystic Code you prefer, you can take it with you."
"Oh yeah, people use those."
Most accomplished magi had at least one, if not a good few Mystic Codes passed down through the family, or specifically designed to bolster the power of their craft. I was not most magi.
"...You don't?" She tilted her head.
"Nope. I'm just built different."
There was no Mystic Code I'd encountered thus far that I wasn't able to replicate the mechanism of. This was because most Mystic Codes served a function similar to spells that were activated simply by supplying them with mana, 'stealing' those 'spells' was an easily accomplished task. I even recreated and edited the mana absorption of Gray's Mystic Code, Add, the moment I saw it.
"Hm. Noted." She nodded. "It seems you are not as incompetent as I initially thought."
"Comparatively, you're even more useless than I initially thought." I mimicked her gentle smile. "Dead weight."
"You kidnapped me." She smiled right back. "Mister Slave Trafficker."
Somehow, it seemed the world had decided that day that it was going to do everything in its power to create trouble for me. The moment those words left her mouth, or rather, the moment she began speaking, one of my classmates exited the cafe.
Gray. The ashen haired girl stared at me with wide eyes, taken aback.
"Kidnapper? S...Slave trafficker? Henry?"
"What's this about kidnappers now, Gray?"
Whoever she was with stepped out, and I realised it was that same blonde girl I'd often seen going into the Professor's chambers. The one that always gave me those strange knowing smiles and was being followed around by that silvery maid with the bubbling hair.
"Oh? If it isn't the most recent stray my dearest elder brother picked up." She leaned to side, hands behind her back. "And what's this? Fraternizing with our sworn enemy? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were about to betray us."
It appeared the two had been hanging out... but, well, the girl was a stranger to me. I recognised her face, but that was where my familiarity with her ended. That said, 'elder brother' and 'picked up'...
"Wait, when you say elder brother... you don't mean-"
"Hm. Verily." She nodded with a big smile, blue eyes shimmering. "I am Reines El-Melloi Archisorte. Your professor is my beloved older brother. I have to say, you've troubled him quite a bit. He even has stomach pains because of you."
"That is... a bit unfair, Miss Reines." Gray interrupted softly. I realised she was trying to defend me. Had I finally adopted my very own introvert?
She was completely ignored.
"Hmm, and such a pretty girl. My, are you two having a date? I wonder. Does the Edelfelt Princess know about this? I bet I'd get to see something very interesting if I were to call her."
"Do it. Call her."
'Reines' completely ignored me too. Admittedly, it was a bit chafing that some stranger just walked up and threatened me (?). I could see it on her face though that that was her entire purpose right from the start. She WANTED me to throw a fit.
Well, too bad.
"You look like someone who blames the world for their own incompetency." I whistled.
She paused for a moment, then,
"While I'd like to stay and chat, Gray and I do have somewhere to be. It isn't quite my place to question this... but I'll be in touch, Henry."
Reines waved us goodbye, and the pair of girls quickly left... At least, that was what they wanted us to think. Both of them simply rounded a corner and, a few moments later, two small heads poked out from the side.
"...Do they think they're hidden?" Caren inquired confusedly.
My ears caught the snap of a phone camera.
"Oh, she just took a picture. Now they have evidence if I disappear so please think twice before you violate my purity."
...
...
I rose to my feet. "Come on, we're leaving."
"Was my information sufficient?"
"Sure. But you did get one thing wrong though."
Caren tilted her head, curious, "And what would that be?"
"About me not wanting to stay around you, I think we'd get along great with how vindictive you are."
She was a genuine menace to society. I aspired to be a genuine menace to this entire world. There was no way I'd shirk a person like her.
"And... why is that?"
I grinned.
"Cause I'm the same."
"..."
For some reason, at those words, Caren Hortensia showed genuine surprise instead of her feigned reactions up till now. Then, she shook her little head.
"...I doubt it."
"Nah, it's true."
She went quiet after that.
"Time to head for good old 'Murica."
I wondered what secrets my second homeland held in this world.
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