Snore snore…
"Agh, pfft! Pihh! Dust in my mouth!" Gudako spat out a bunch of dust particles and looked around.
Everything… looked utterly desolate, like it had been abandoned for decades.
"Wait a sec! This is Chaldea?!"
She stood up and walked outside.
Before her was a scene straight out of a ruin, as if it had been abandoned for ages.
"The heck?! This is the Arctic, so how's there a crystal-clear lake and a ton of moss and grass growing here??"
Suddenly… a bright light appeared in front of her, forcing her to shield her eyes.
"Uwaa… What's that?"
The light took the form of a fat man with messy hair, an unshaven beard, wearing a sweaty tank top, with his right arm noticeably larger than his left.
"Hello, I'm the author. Been too busy playing Uma Musume and crying over Haru Urara to notice this fanfic."
"…Huh?" Gudako stared at him, bewildered.
"Hold on… Let me grab a bucket of KFC fried chicken first, I'm starving…"
"Uh… Before you eat, can you do something for me?"
He looked at her.
"Oh, sure… As long as you… Hehehe," he gave a creepy, perverted grin, eyeing her from her thighs up to her chest.
So, she grabbed a baseball bat and whacked him square on the head.
"Ugah!" He collapsed, blood trickling from his head.
"Let's see…" She walked over and shouted something.
"WHITE SNAKE!"
A shadowy figure appeared behind her and touched him. A disc popped out of his face.
"This is?! Kono powa?!"
She grabbed the power disc labeled "fanfic author" and shoved it into her head.
"MADE IN HEAVEN: OVER HEAVEN!!!"
Her Stand instantly transformed into Made in Heaven, skipping C-Moon entirely.
"Time travel, here we go!"
And with that, she vanished without a trace.
…
…
"Hey, why do I feel like someone's gonna mess with me?" Caster Cú scratched his neck while playing shogi with Nura.
"You tripping," Nura replied.
"…Hope so. My turn, Nura!" Caster Cú picked up a shogi piece.
Just as he was about to place it, the board was sent flying, smacking into Mash, who was eating nearby.
"UWAH?!" Mash fell over, clutching her sandwich and sighing in relief that it didn't hit the ground.
"Enemy?!" Nura drew his katana.
"Sound the alarm! Intruder alert!!" Roman shouted.
"Uh… There's only a handful of staff and four Servants here, not counting Mash," Da Vinci said.
Then, the dust cleared, revealing a girl with spiky hair, an aura radiating from her, striking a bizarre pose with her Stand beside her.
And yeah, she was floating.
"What the hell?!" Caster Cú glared, pissed off at whoever ruined his entertainment for the past few days.
"Senpai?!" Mash stood up, shocked, staring at her while holding the sandwich she was about to eat.
Gudako glanced at her, making Mash flinch.
"Kore wa… Ova Heaven da."
"??"
Then she pointed at Mash's sandwich, and it flew straight to her mouth.
"?????"
She landed, her Stand vanished, and everything went back to normal.
"Ayo! I'm back!"
"…" The group stared at Gudako, who was happily munching on the sandwich.
"Hic! What's all the fun about, guys… Hic!" Shuten stumbled in, clearly drunk.
"…No clue," everyone said in unison.
"Ah! Nura! Come here, let me give you a hug!" Gudako walked toward him, arms outstretched.
Sniff sniff
"…Did you even shower? Why do I smell mold?" Nura pinched his nose, backing away from Gudako.
"Huh? She showered just yesterday," Roman said.
"How do you know?" Mash and Fou raised their eyebrows at Roman.
"There are cameras everywhere."
"That's a privacy violation?!"
"I don't think I smell that bad. You must've sniffed wrong, Nura. Mash, come here and check."
Mash cautiously leaned in to sniff.
And promptly passed out.
"…" The group stared as Mash foamed at the mouth, with Fou frantically trying to wake her up.
"Wow… I just checked her uniform—it's over a million years old?" Da Vinci said, intrigued, examining Gudako.
"Huh? A million years?" Gudako scratched her head.
So what she saw was a million years in the future?
The group backed away from her, repelled by the horrific stench emanating from her. Nura seemed somewhat okay with it… Maybe because he's used to the smell of his natto-headed youkai subordinate?
"…Shower. I'm not coming near you otherwise," Nura said bluntly.
So Gudako headed to the bathroom.
…Somewhere in the Arctic
"Achoo! Someone help me?!" A guy in nothing but underwear, with dark blue hair and a face that screamed "punch me," hugged himself for warmth.
…It was Shinji.
"Dammit! I was camping in the Arctic with Sakura, and the next day she vanished with the tent, leaving no trace!"
Freezing, he trudged on, unsure where he was going, until he spotted something.
"Huh? What's this?"
A large pipe. Shinji looked around, confused, then peered inside.
Moments later, a blackish-green liquid poured out, splashing all over him.
"GAHH! WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT'S THIS SMELL?! GROSS!!!"
Shinji nearly vomited from the stench, then got swept into the sea by the strange liquid.
For some reason, the liquid didn't sink into the ocean. Instead, it took human form, spewed lava, and the lava solidified into a blocky shape. Then the liquid jumped into it, merging to become a cubic stone.
"THIS MAKES NO DAMN SENSE?! THIS ISN'T MINECRAFT!!!"
Then a whale surfaced and swallowed Shinji whole.
***
"So? Smell better now?" Gudako approached the group.
"Much better," Nura replied.
"Hehe, by the way, when are we heading to the second Singularity?" Gudako asked Roman.
"Tomorrow. Everyone should rest up. Da Vinci and I will handle support."
"Sweet! Hold on a sec," Gudako said, then started poking at the air.
What's she up to now?
"Ahhhh… Shit, I forgot to claim my daily rewards! My Saint Quartz!!!!" Gudako collapsed, tears streaming down her face.
"Whatever, screw it! At least I got materials to upgrade Nura and the others!"
"Huh? Upgrade what—"
Before Roman could finish, I, Caster, and Shuten suddenly felt stronger.
Except for Mash—she's still capped at level 30 for now.
"Wow!! This Master is something else! What did she just do to make the Servants' stats skyrocket?!" Da Vinci stared at the Servants in amazement.
"Huh?! Stats?! You mean those letter-grade stats?!" Roman asked, panicking.
"Nah, I mean ATK and HP stats."
"Oh…"
Shuten and Caster, fresh off the power boost, turned to look at their Master.
She was striking another weird pose.
'What other abilities does she have? So curious, fufu…'
'I wish she could change my class instead of just powering me up…'