THE WARM ROOM was suddenly filled with a piercing cold. The emperor leaned back deep into the couch, looking down at Mo Xi. He wrapped the fox fur more tightly around himself and slowly said, "The past is the past. There is no reason whatsoever for us to keep those records. Xihe-jun, let me ask you. These jade scrolls you risked your life to repair—can they strengthen our nation, or bring security and happiness to the people? Can they bring down the Liao Kingdom or guarantee peace in the Nine Provinces?" The emperor paused. "They cannot."
He continued, "Preserving those scrolls…would only cause unnecessary confusion and discontent. It would only cause… See, it would only cause what has come to pass today, an emperor and his subject at odds. Do you recall the stone plaque erected at the door of the Imperial Censorate? It says, 'The Past Is Dead.' These four words are quite correct. Some events, some secrets, ought to be buried by the passage of time. If they are unearthed, they stand to harm the present in a hundred different ways, without conferring the slightest benefit." After a few beats of silence, the emperor said blandly, "We didn't expect you would find it so hard to accept."
Mo Xi's eyes were shot through with scarlet. Lava seemed to roil in his chest; blood rushed into his head. His fingers curled into fists, and his voice was dreadfully hoarse. "It's not that I can't accept it. But rather, Your Imperial Majesty…it's that you have accepted it far too easily."
He pressed on. "Eight years ago on that stormy night upon the Golden Terrace, you promised Gu Mang everything he wanted. You used every pretty phrase at your disposal—you said you'd never thought of him and his men as insignificant beasts, you said you would shape for them a world where everyone is treated equally, that there would come a day when you would personally bestow the martyr's ribbon upon him. All these guarantees you gave to him, all the promises you made, were they no more than schemes and lies?!"
"Xihe-jun." The emperor's gaze was like solid ice. The bridge of his nose wrinkled slightly, his stare growing predatory. "You forget yourself!"
"What have I forgotten?!" Mo Xi retorted. "I merely want right to be right and wrong to be wrong. I merely want him to receive the respect he deserves instead of more false accusations. It's been eight years… This secret festered in his heart for eight years, yet even during the worst of his suffering, he never betrayed you or revealed the slightest hint of the truth. Now he's been hollowed out, he can't serve you anymore—is it really so hard for you to return him the innocence he deserves?! You led him down a dead-end road then washed your hands of him. Your Imperial Majesty, he was your chess piece before, so who is your pawn now? Me?!"
The emperor rose to his feet, upending the table with an explosive crash. Fruit and cakes rolled over the floor. The bean cakes were crushed, the grapes destroyed, their juices pooling on the ground. Redness rushed into his face. "Mo Xi! We're warning you—do not forget the oath you have sworn!"
He had blurted this out in shock and in desperation. Regret came instantaneously.
Light flashed in Mo Xi's eyes. He put a hand to his brow and tilted his face to the sky, shoulders shaking with self-mocking laughter as he murmured, "The Vow of Calamity… Ten years of my life I give to make this oath of blood. From now on, slave cultivators will never take up arms and rebel, nor will I take up arms and rebel. I pledge my loyalty to Your Imperial Majesty and to Chonghua with my life."
The memory of helplessly swearing the blood oath and lowering himself to the ground in a long kowtow was vivid in his mind. Mo Xi swallowed thickly and closed his wet eyes. "What a colossal joke," he murmured. He was still for a moment with an arm over his eyes, striving to harness his own emotions—but it was futile. At that moment, his teeth-gnashing hatred was plainly engraved on his thin face.
He lowered his arm. When those black eyes opened once more, they were bright with a knife-like chill.
The emperor tensed and instinctively flung up a hand in defense. But Mo Xi's wrathful outburst, even with his core damaged, was more powerful than he'd imagined. With a crackle, the snake-whip Shuairan appeared in his hand and viciously struck the barrier the emperor had created. The whip's scarlet light tore through the air, transforming into a razor-sharp sword that came to a stop a hairsbreadth from the emperor's throat.
The emperor blanched. "Xihe-jun, make a move against us and you will disperse as ashes on the wind and die without an intact corpse!"
Mo Xi's eyes were bloodred. He stepped forward, holding the sword level, teeth gritted and voice dark. "You don't need to remind me. Your Imperial Majesty, back then, you already knew. You had already made up your mind not to touch Gu Mang's surviving soldiers —but you still had to get another reassurance from me."
"Xihe-jun…"
"You used the same chip twice: first to secure his undying devotion, and second to ensure my eternal loyalty. Two birds with one stone—I would expect nothing less of Your Imperial Majesty. An excellent ploy!"
The emperor turned his face aside. "We couldn't explain it to you then… Recall that we'd been evading you the entire time. But you knelt before our hall for three days and three nights…"
He whipped around to face Mo Xi, the glare of the sword illuminating his face with a malevolent light. "Three days and three nights! What could we do? Send you away? Refuse to see you? Xihejun, take a moment to think about us! All the thousands of eyes of the court are fixed upon us! Think what you would have done if we told you the truth! Could you have merely looked on as that dear shixiong of yours went to suffer for so many years in the Liao Kingdom and endured so many years of disgrace?! You couldn't!"
At this point, the emperor's eyes, too, were bloodshot from rage and obstinance. He stared at Mo Xi, and his voice shook. "With everything you've done, when haven't you forced our hand? Do you think we wanted this?! Do you think, after all of it, we could really feel no guilt and sleep in peace?!"
"If Your Imperial Majesty felt so guilty, how could you do something as cruel as what you did today?" Mo Xi furiously shot back.
"What choice did we have?" The emperor stared at him through scarlet eyes. He pointed behind him at his own throne. "Why don't you sit there and see what it's like? There is much we cannot control. If you haven't sat there, you can't see any of the threats that lurk around us!"
He panted, "Do you think we don't want to clear his name? Do you think we don't want to see our god of war ride armored once more onto the battlefield? Do you think we don't want to take his hand and tell the entirety of Chonghua—his faith never wavered, their General Gu is still their General Gu, a loyal heart forever true? Do you really think we don't want that?!" As the emperor spat out those last words, he began to choke up. "I'll tell you the truth… Every day and every night, even in my dreams, I yearn for that day…"
The emperor turned, fighting an agitation unseemly for a nation's ruler as he turned his face away. Finally, he calmed himself enough to resume using the royal we.
"But we can't do it. The root system sustaining Chonghua's old nobles is as strong as it ever was, the situation with slave cultivators has improved but not enough, and the Liao Kingdom still threatens our nation's borders at every turn. In the matter of black magic curses, Chonghua is still in the dark; we can only react to them. How do you propose we clear General Gu's name? Do you want us to announce to the world that Gu Mang was actually a spy we sent into the Liao Kingdom? Or explain nothing and exempt him from punishment by fiat?"
The emperor laughed bitterly. "Xihe-jun, wake up. There is too much blood on Gu Mang's hands, the latter is impossible. And if you would just consider it calmly, you could guess the results of the former. Yes, the stain on his reputation would be washed clean, but what next? The Liao Kingdom would know Gu Mang had relayed the most closely guarded secrets of their magic to Chonghua and fortify their defenses accordingly. The old nobles would learn of the arrangement we made with General Gu back then and grow uneasy and restless. Internal troubles and external threats would combine to render General Gu's five years of spying, three years of humiliation… all his suffering, everything he sacrificed—it would be wasted!" The emperor paused, his eyes flashing as he turned to Mo Xi. "This is not what he wanted. Xihe-jun, you are the person he treasures most. You should understand his choice."
The longsword in Mo Xi's hand quivered with the trembling of his heart.
How could he not understand?
Gu Mang had spoken to him of his dream countless times. In the beginning, he was so timid, as if terrified his companions would mock the naivete of his ideals. Later, he'd spoken resolutely, decisively. At that time, Gu Mang had already chosen to follow this principle to its end and would never turn back from his aim.
How could Mo Xi not understand the choice he made? From the moment he saw Gu Mang kneel on the Golden Terrace, he knew what kind of path Gu Mang had laid out in his heart.
But—when he thought of that blood-soaked man in Sishu Terrace tonight, thought of the man who fell into his arms, tears streaming down his face as he begged not to have his memories stripped away, how could he accept it?
Torn in a thousand directions, Mo Xi felt like he was burning alive; he felt like his body had been cleaved into two. Half his heart ached for the suffering Gu Mang had endured and clamored for him to give up. What "righteousness and loyalty to the nation and the world"? How could there be "equal treatment for all, with peace throughout the land"? His shixiong was far too naive—the world would never give him anything, yet he still offered up his chest full of passion, his pristine reputation, and his body of flesh and blood. Mo Xi, when his mind was collapsing, he begged you so pitifully. He's afraid of pain—how could you not save him?
The other half of his heart murmured, No… Ever since he was young, Gu Mang had hungered for a world where all were equal. His shixiong had walked this path for so many years, covering his body with blood and filling his eyes with wounds, just for the realization of that day. If he were awake, with how stubborn he is, he would definitely want to persevere… Mo Xi, how could you betray him?
The two halves of his heart battled, locked in mutual torment.
His spiritual core was nearing collapse; though the elder of Shennong Terrace had done all in his power to stabilize it, it was still dangerously weak. Now, as his emotions surged, his jeopardized core throbbed with a pain so violent he coughed out a mouthful of blood.
Upon seeing his condition, the emperor relaxed slightly. "Xihejun…"
With a turn of his wrist, Mo Xi flipped the Shuairan longsword down to prop himself up. The blade's sharp point sank into the golden brick below. He panted, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth, and rasped through lips and teeth stained scarlet, "Even if…you can't clear his name right now, then let me ask you—" He blinked laboriously, tendons protruding in his neck and his hands tightly clenched, each word bitten out. "Why do these black magic experiments?!"
That sentence landed like a stone in the sea, sinking into silence.
Mo Xi looked up, staring at the emperor's pallid face through furious and grieving eyes. His bloodstained lips moved slowly, and the words he spat were equally raw. "Even if you were bound by circumstance and couldn't ensure his safety…as the ruler of the nation, could you not at least spare him some suffering after he returned?"
Mo Xi's voice cracked like a shattered xun. The rims of his eyes were alarmingly red. "Black magic experiments are excruciatingly painful! Your Imperial Majesty! What are you doing this for? Putting on a show? Performing blood-for-blood vengeance for those who don't know the truth? Or was it because you wanted to learn more secrets of black magic curses?!"
The emperor's face was ashen. He parted his lips to speak but stopped himself. In the end, he bit his lower lip and turned his face away. "Xihe-jun, there are many things you don't understand—"
"There are indeed many things I don't understand. I don't understand what you've been thinking all these years, I don't know which of the things you've said are true and which are false. It's precisely because I don't know anything that I was kept in the dark for a full eight years! But, Your Imperial Majesty, do you think you know all the truth?"
Light flickered in the emperor's eyes. "What do you mean?" he slowly asked.
Caught in the grip of his surging emotions, another burst of coppery bitterness filled Mo Xi's throat. He closed his eyes, tilting his head slightly without answering.
At that moment, those two little golden beasts on the brazier of Zhuque Hall awoke. They inhaled smoke into their bellies, then hiccupped, raising their voice to shout:
"His Imperial Majesty's fortune floods the heavens!"
"His Imperial Majesty's might covers the world!"
Mo Xi silently listened to these two magic-imbued beasts belching flattery and praise. He began to laugh, the sound filled with endless sorrow.
The emperor's expression strained tighter. "What about Subject Gu do we not know?"
Mo Xi didn't answer him directly. "Your Imperial Majesty, Murong Lian gifted you this brazier and incense burner to demonstrate his allegiance and give you peace of mind. Countless people bend their knee and praise you for the sake of their own titles and status, for their lives or the lives of their families… If you wanted to find someone in Chonghua whose heart is truly steady, immovable in its loyalty to Chonghua, there are actually very, very few. Gu Mang is one of them. Because of your many difficulties, you did not make good on your promise. But he is not the same. The things he promised you…were sworn with a gentleman's word. He achieved all of them."
As Mo Xi spoke, he smiled softly. That smile held a boundless, aching sadness. "Your Imperial Majesty, what you don't know is that Gu Mang recovered most of his memories while we were on Bat Island."
Distant light flickered in the emperor's eyes. After a moment of blankness, shock followed. "He did…?"
Mo Xi's eyes were almost cruel as he took in the emperor's rattled expression. He cut into his ruler's heart with every word he spoke. "Aside from those five years he spent in the Liao Kingdom, he more or less remembered everything. He remembered the promises you made him, the kind of person he is, Lu Zhanxing's death, the defeat at Phoenix Cry Mountain, everything you said on the Golden Terrace—he remembered it all."
The emperor's cheeks were bloodless. He shook his head, murmuring as he took a step backward. His face was blank as if he hadn't realized the implications of those words, but he was trembling all over as if he understood completely. "How could that be…" He took another step back, looking at Mo Xi in disbelief. But his eyes were empty, as though whatever convictions had supported his cruelty had collapsed to pieces. A crack had appeared across the emperor's usually indifferent expression, and increasingly vivid emotions began pouring from the split. The emperor shook his head again and again, his voice rising until it sounded almost wild. "How could he possibly have remembered? If he really remembered everything, then…then wouldn't it be…"
Mo Xi blinked back his tears. "He knew the truth, he knew you had forsaken him, yet he continued to keep your secret. Eight years have passed. He's seen his reputation destroyed and his body covered in wounds; he's received none of what you promised him—but he still kept this secret for you. He didn't come to question you, nor did he confess his grievances to any other. When Zhou He cut him open to carry out the black magic experiments you ordered…his mind was clear…" Mo Xi steadied his shaking voice, but his vision blurred. "Your Imperial Majesty, do you understand now…? When he went with Zhou He, he knew he was innocent!"
The emperor collapsed back down into his throne. His lips were nearly blue, as if his illness might flare up again at any moment. "He knew… He already knew… Then he… At that time…" The emperor stumbled over his words. He lifted slender fingers to bury his face into his hands, murmuring in hoarse fragments, "Subject Gu… Subject Gu…"
Despite knowing he had been discarded, he had walked silently into the Asura Room. What had he felt…?
The emperor closed his eyes in grief, his voice catching in his throat and turning into a sorrowful gulp. The shock of this truth was too much for him. For a long, long time, the emperor could not recover. He mumbled to himself, the rims of his eyes overflowing and his palms filling with tears. His head was down, his shoulders crumpled pathetically, his neck bent as if an invisible claw had broken it.
In all the years Mo Xi had known him, he had never seen the emperor like this. The man sat sunken into the soft middle of the throne as the minutes ticked past. He stared vacantly at that glowing brazier, watching the firewood crackle within. His eyes were empty when he spoke, defeated. "Mo Xi."
He was met with silence.
"Do you think we have a heart of stone? That after making use of Subject Gu, we carelessly abandoned him without any feeling, or the slightest intention of keeping our promises?"
The emperor looked up, the rims of his eyes and the tip of his nose still red. He closed his eyes. Amid this silence, he seemed to make some decision. He rose to his feet. "There is nothing we can say that you will believe. And so it is… To be honest, of those historyrecording jade scrolls, one yet remains. We have always kept it at our side."
Mo Xi tensed.
When the emperor next spoke, it was with an air of heavy weariness. "Since it's come to this, we have nothing left to hide. We ask you to come with us."