AS ZHOU HE watched Mo Xi stride off, his expression was ugly.
"Elder, what…what should we do?"
"What else can we do? Report to His Imperial Majesty! Say that Mo Xi flouts the law of the land—he trespassed into secure locations, opposed the emperor's decree, and fought within imperial walls over private matters!"
Jiang Yexue frowned. "Elder Zhou, this situation is complex, and His Imperial Majesty is indisposed. I ask you to think carefully."
Zhou He instantly blew his top. "Bastard Jiang, do you too think to oppose me?!"
Jiang Yexue blinked at him.
"A member of the Bureau of Military Affairs dared trespass into my Sishu Terrace and seize a test subject in our custody. If I bore this in silence, how could I hold my head up in the future?! I know you're his brother, but you need to understand, your brother has broken the law! Are you trying to excuse his crime?!" With a wave of his sleeves, Zhou He barked at his attendants, "What are you staring at? Hurry up and report to His Imperial Majesty!"
"Yes!"
_______
One hour later, in Xihe Manor.
The damage the black magic experiments had wrought on Gu Mang was severe. He had fallen unconscious upon leaving Sishu Terrace and not awakened since.
In this long slumber, Gu Mang dreamed a somber dream.
He and Mo Xi were in their early twenties. They were walking near a long dike on the outskirts of Chonghua. It was dusk, and the setting sun had shed half its painted face; crimson rouge and brilliant gold powder were smeared across the gloaming, floating over the horizon for endless leagues.
Gu Mang pulled a blade of foxtail grass, twirling it as he walked. "I really didn't expect His Imperial Majesty to give you command of the attack on Fan City." After a pause, he continued. "It'll be your first command, right? Are you nervous?"
Mo Xi lowered his lashes but didn't answer the question. "I will win."
Gu Mang smiled. "That's right. Remember, the most important thing for a commander is to never let them see you falter. No matter what happens, your men will draw strength from you as long as you don't crumble. Once the general loses his resolve, his army becomes a handful of loose sand, useless no matter how courageous its soldiers may be. You are the soul of the army. The moment you take up the position of general, the lives of each of your brothers are in your hands."
Mo Xi nodded and lifted a hand. Turning into the tawny gold of the setting sun, he looked into Gu Mang's face. "I will." After a pause, he added: "Wait for me to come back."
"Why are you suddenly so serious?" Gu Mang grinned. "Is there something I should know?"
The young man was very earnest and also very awkward, but still clung to his facade of composure. "His Imperial Majesty said if I come away victorious, he'll allow me to leave the Mo Clan and establish my own independent household."
"…So?"
Mo Xi bit his lip, too afraid for a moment to meet Gu Mang's eyes. He turned to the glimmering surface of the river, flecks of gold filling his eyes and gilding his lashes. Maybe it was the rosy sunset, or maybe it was something else entirely, but Mo Xi's face looked a little red, and the tips of his ears were faintly flushed. "I'll have my own residence."
Gu Mang blinked at him. He was also slow to react. For both of them, this was their first relationship, and truth be told, neither was much wiser than the other. Gu Mang looked at Mo Xi in confusion. He hesitated. "That's nice… Then…congrats?"
Almost simultaneously, Mo Xi asked softly: "Will you come live with me?"
They stared at each other in silence.
Mo Xi's elegant features flushed redder. He coughed quietly, and then, as if wanting to recover his pride, or not wanting to pressure Gu Mang overmuch, he lowered his lashes evasively. "I-if you don't want to, that's fine too. I can wait. No, that's not what I meant—what I mean is, I, I've already looked at the plans, I…"
The longer he spoke, the more embarrassed he became. The harder he tried to hide his softness and inexperience, the more obviously they were laid bare. Finally, the usually calm and composed Mo Xi pushed Gu Mang away. He walked over to the dike and buried his face in his hands, mumbling morosely, "I'm sorry, I was only asking…"
As Gu Mang had watched this young man clumsily, stubbornly, try to express his intent, he suddenly understood something. This little shidi of his hadn't yet left on his campaign or fought his battle, but he was so certain of victory that he'd secretly gone to look at plans…
He felt heartsore. He knew Mo Xi had always been sincere with him. He was just too scared to accept it.
Perhaps it was because Mo Xi was about to leave for the front lines, or because there had always been some selfishness hidden in the bottom of Gu Mang's heart; in any case, back then he hadn't rejected Mo Xi's suggestion. This had delighted the young man to no end. That night, neither returned to their own abodes. They spent the whole night making love in an inn outside the city. It passed like a dream.
By the end, Gu Mang had not a drop of energy left. He lay there with his face buried in the sheets, eyes still wet with tears, silent and dazed. His eyes were half-lidded, lashes quivering.
In this hazy state, he heard Mo Xi softly say, "There's something I want to give you."
Gu Mang hadn't the wherewithal to ask many more questions, and Mo Xi had already taken hold of the hand he had burrowed into the sheets, his broad palm covering Gu Mang's fingers. He felt a faint prickling sensation as two arrays glowed red where their hands were joined. The light glided over their interlocked fingers and floated up to the side of Gu Mang's neck.
Still foggy with exhaustion, Gu Mang asked quietly, "What is it?"
"A tiny sword array." Mo Xi released his hand and reached up to stroke Gu Mang's neck with lightly callused fingers. "I know people are always trying to bully you. They're afraid of stirring up trouble and too scared to use magic, so they only dare press their physical advantage."
He looked down, turning his head to gently kiss Gu Mang on the neck.
"I gave a drop of blood to form this array. I haven't fixed its form, so you can shape it into whatever you want—a character, a flower…anything. When I'm not here, it will protect you. Of course, if you don't want it…you can seal it off too."
Gu Mang felt that soft kiss brush over his skin as he listened silently, tangled in the bedding. A whole host of emotions welled up in his heart. He wanted to laugh with glee; he wanted to weep with sorrow.
He knew he wouldn't go live with Mo Xi in his residence. It would be a house, not a home. A home was somewhere two people could rightfully and openly make a life together. It wasn't somewhere one needed to hide, or love one another as if carrying on a clandestine affair, covering their tracks as if ashamed. Mo Xi could give him a place to stay, but he couldn't truly give him a home. They were not the same; their paths were always destined to diverge.
He knew he would refuse Mo Xi in the end. But as he looked at this youth's earnest and beseeching face, he couldn't say a thing. His body had become pliant under the hands of his little shidi, and his heart too had long since melted into a puddle.
Moving as if pricked by guilt, he turned to caress Mo Xi's face. "Will you only leave a sword sigil for me?"
"Hm?"
He smiled, his dark eyes gentle. "Then what if someone tries to bully you?"
Mo Xi blinked at him. Of course no one would dare pick a physical fight with Mo Xi. But it was as though something compelled these two people doomed to separate paths to leave some secret on each other's bodies, known only to the two of them.
Gu Mang bit his own finger and rolled over, tapping the side of Mo Xi's neck. He diligently transformed the mark into a red lotus. Then he took hold of Mo Xi's hand, covering it with his own, and smiled. "I left a drop of my blood too. Make it into a protective sword array on my behalf, so it'll count as me staying by your side. Okay?"
Mo Xi's eyes shone brilliantly in the dark. Gu Mang didn't have the heart to dim that light.
"Okay," Mo Xi said, and folded Gu Mang into his arms from behind. His warm chest pressed against Gu Mang's curled back as he stroked his hair and kissed his warm neck, his slightly cool ear.
"You have to wait for me to come back. When I come back, everything will be better. You have to trust me…"
Trust me.
Mo Xi's voice in that vision of the past drifted out of his reach, just like the memories Lieying had skewered, scattered and smashed, falling to pieces.
Wait for me. Everything will be better.
In the depths of his awareness, Gu Mang was struggling, falling to his knees, prostrating again and again to that wholeheartedly devoted Mo Xi—I'm sorry, I wish I could have waited for you too. I wish everything would have gotten better. I always trusted you.
But…Mo Xi, some things must be done, some sacrifices must be made. When fate comes knocking, you have to face it if you don't want to be a coward. We all have our paths to walk.
You painted a picture of that future and that home for me. I lived that beautiful and carefree lifetime through your eyes. That's more than enough. So when you return in fathomless glory and I'm not here, don't be sad…
I do love you. All my life, every "I love you" that left my lips was true.
Mo Xi…
Though he didn't wake, tears fell from the corners of Gu Mang's eyes, wetting his temples.
A crowd of cultivators buzzed around Gu Mang's bedside as the elder at their head issued a steady stream of commands. "Open another three blood-clotting arrays. Place soul-stabilizing needles at the Shenting, Fengchi, and Renying acupoints." When one disciple didn't immediately move, his white brows drew low in anger. "Why are you spacing out? Hurry up!"
The disciple answered hastily, "Oh…oh." He looked away from Gu Mang's face in a panic but couldn't keep himself from thinking— Looks like the black magic experiments really were terrible. Otherwise, why would Gu Mang cry while he's not even conscious…?
"Place needles at the three acupoints," his shifu barked. "Your hands have to be steady."
"Understood!"
The healers had gathered in front of the bed in Xihe Manor's bedroom. The dove-gray hui-patterned canopy hung low, and soothing incense wafted from golden beast figurines, but they did nothing to allay the anxiety filling the room. The doctors of Shennong Terrace came in and out, replacing basin after basin of bloody water from cleaning wounds, bringing in prepared tinctures and concocted ointments one after another.
No one dared to speak. Sweat beaded on the foreheads of every cultivator and slave. There were two patients in the room: one was Gu Mang, lying in the bed, and the other was Mo Xi, sitting by the desk.
What exactly Mo Xi had been through, no one knew—how he had sustained such injuries, or why he ignored them for the sake of that…that traitor lying unconscious on the bed. The healers urgently summoned from Shennong Terrace were utterly bewildered.
One cautiously stepped forward. "Xihe-jun, the top-grade fleshregrowth ointment is here. Your wounds…"
"Give it to him."
The cultivator stared.
"Use all of these top-grade healing salves on him." The rims of Mo Xi's eyes were scarlet, his eyes never moving from the bed. "I'm fine."
The healer tending to Mo Xi's wounds turned a waxy yellow at this. He wanted to cry, Dage! You're not fine! Your spiritual core is about to shatter, in what world is that 'fine'? But when he saw Mo Xi's determined face, he didn't say a thing. Head down, he continued silently bustling about the room.
Suddenly one of the household servants ran in. "My, my lord!" they cried anxiously.
"What is it."
"H-his Imperial Majesty sent Eunuch Zhao with a decree. H-he says you must go outside to accept the edict."
Official messengers were required to read the imperial orders they delivered directly to the subjects involved. But Mo Xi didn't speak, nor did he move. His hand was still on the gleaming black sandalwood desk as the healer treated his wounds. After a tense silence, three words issued from his thin lips. "Let him wait."
The entire room gaped in shock. One cultivator nearly dropped the bowl of medicine in his hands, staring goggle-eyed at Mo Xi. All had the same thought: Could Xihe-jun have gone insane?!
The servant stammered, "H-h-how…could…"
Mo Xi repeated unblinkingly: "Wait."
The servant could do nothing but stumble from the room with this message. Mo Xi's gaze never left the figure enclosed in talisman arrays.
According to the grizzled medicine elder, the Liao Kingdom had reshaped Gu Mang's body in a very strange fashion. Dense yin energy ran in his veins, as if his was a body thousands of people had cursed.
Chonghua's healers had little experience treating someone with Gu Mang's constitution, and his injuries were severe. Drawing on all their skill and effort, the healers could just barely keep Gu Mang breathing. But they couldn't heal the mental damage he had once more sustained.
The medicine elder wiped sweat from his face. "How is his mind?"
The cultivator who had been casting spells to stabilize Gu Mang's skull shook his head. His face was pale and drawn from the effort. "Nearing collapse," he said. "He was missing two souls to begin with, and now…" He coughed up a mouthful of blood, completely drained.
Mo Xi's ears rang, his entire body cold as if he'd fallen into a frozen lake. "What do you mean?"
The healers exchanged glances. They kept their heads down, none daring to answer.
"What will happen to him?"
At this point, it was left to the elder to deliver the news. His countenance was dreadful, but he braced himself and said, "I'm afraid that he…might not remember anything… He might be unable to speak. If his mind has deteriorated completely, he might even lose the use of his eyes…"
Mo Xi leapt to his feet, shaking all over. His pale lips had gone more bloodless still. The healer who had been attempting to stabilize his pulse was thrown off by the burst of spiritual energy that exploded from him. "Xihe-jun, you can't keep moving recklessly! You—"
"Mo-dage." They were cut off by the soft sigh of a melodious female voice. "Is this how you risk yourself with the core I gave you?"
All eyes turned toward the door, then lowered in a deep obeisance.
"Princess Mengze!"
"Greetings to Princess Mengze!"