Note: Will be editing this further. Apologies for publishing this prematurely
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My mind kept drifting back to the moment I last saw Tyler--standing over his balcony, his back turned and how unbelievably it hurt. No matter how much I tried to distract myself with the task at hand, his coldness lingered.
We are just neighbors. But should neighbors act like this towards each other?
The ride felt long, though I knew it wasn't. My thoughts kept spiraling, bouncing from one worry to the next.
Would Tyler be alright? Would I be able to face him again? What did all of this mean for us, if anything?
The sound of my phone vibrating startled me. I glanced at the screen, seeing a message from Olivia: "Just let me know when you're here, and I'll come down to help you carry stuff up."
Her message felt like a lifeline, reminding me that I wasn't completely alone. I quickly typed back a reply: "On my way, Liv. Thank you."
I arrived at Olivia's place, the familiar warmth of her welcome putting me slightly at ease. She was already outside, a big smile on her face as she waved. I couldn't help but smile back, a small relief washing over me at the sight of her.
"Hey!" she greeted me, immediately crouching down to give Lucky and Cleo some love. "Come on, let's get your stuff inside."
I followed her upstairs, the familiarity of her apartment wrapping around me like a comforting blanket.
We made quick work of getting everything settled, and once my dogs were comfortable in their new temporary space, I finally allowed myself to sink onto the couch. Olivia flopped down next to me, her presence a steady anchor in the whirlwind of everything that had just happened.
"How are you doing, really?" she asked, her tone softer than usual.
I leaned back, closing my eyes for a moment as I let out a long breath. "I'm great," I lied. "Everything's fine. And I'm glad to be here, with you."
With Olivia by my side, maybe I could find a way to make it through all of this. After we settled into Olivia's apartment, she had to leave for work.
"I'll be at work, but when I get back, we'll have a girls' night! Right, Lucky and Cleo?" she announced excitedly. We all laughed, and I gave her a nod of approval, hugging her a little tighter than I usually did. She looked at me with eyes that seemed to understand that I was going through something. She smiled softly and squeezed my arm---a silent gesture of support that didn't need words to be felt.
I waved goodbye as she left, and when I turned around, Lucky and Cleo were already behind me, watching me with concerned eyes as if they too sensed that something was wrong. Dogs truly are proof that love doesn't need to be expressed in words; their presence and their concern, like when they come to you with empathy when your emotions are all over the place, is enough to make you feel loved. It's as if they're saying, "We're here for you."
I wrapped my arms around them and kissed their fluffy heads. With them by my side, there's nothing I can't face! Today was supposed to be a free day, but I wasn't in the mood for anything. I had done nothing but let my mind wander. It kept drifting back to what happened between Tyler and me. The look he gave me still sent a sharp pain through my chest, and no matter how many times I tried to push it out of my thoughts, it lingered.
How did it all end up like this? What went wrong between us? All I wanted was to stop being a burden to him, but was it wrong to try to stop being an inconvenience?
Even though I hadn't done anything wrong, the weight of my thoughts was heavy as I lay on Olivia's couch. I turned on the TV, watching whatever was suggested first. I just needed something to distract me, hoping the noise could push Tyler's image from my mind. As I watched, my eyes grew heavy, and I finally surrendered to sleep.
A message from Olivia jolted me awake: "Hey, Kz. I have something to tell you. Oh God, I'm so sorry, but my team and I have a project to finish, and we'll need my place for a couple of days. I really hate to kick you out, but it's one of those deadlines that can't wait. I'll help you find somewhere else to crash, I promise. You can still stay tonight, though."
That message snapped me back to reality, and I shot upright. I quickly typed a reply: "No worries, Liv! It's all good. Honestly, we're the ones who should be sorry for crashing at your place when you're busy. I'll take care of it. You focus on work, don't worry about us!"
I started browsing online for pet-friendly hotels and Airbnbs around Manila. Fortunately, I found one in Quezon City---a condo unit with a stunning view, a pool, and, most importantly, a pet-friendly policy. Perfect! I glanced at Lucky and Cleo, and their presence gave me the strength I needed to push through. Without wasting any time, I booked the place and messaged the owner, asking if we could move in tonight so we could settle in. She kindly approved.
"Now, I just have to wait for Olivia to get back from work, and then we'll have dinner and bond for a little while," I muttered quietly to myself.
For the second time today, I began packing our things so we'd be ready to leave at a moment's notice. It was already six in the evening, and I knew Olivia would be home soon. Sure enough, I heard footsteps outside, and the door handle turned, signaling her arrival.
Olivia greeted us excitedly, arms open for Lucky and Cleo. She bent down to scratch their ears and even handed them a few treats. I smiled faintly, and she came over to hug me just as tightly.
She plopped down on the sofa and asked, "So, Dinner?"
I smiled at her and gave a nod of agreement, "But I'll be ordering, Olivia. No arguments. I've got this, girl." We exchanged a playful look, one only girls could share, and then I placed an order for 24 Chicken's Half-Half Chicken---Original and Jack Daniels flavors. There are just some things in life that only food can heal, and fried chicken was my comfort.
Later, when the food arrived...
The doorbell rang, and I went to grab our order. As I set it down on the table, Olivia raised an eyebrow, eyeing the large amount of fried chicken.
"I know why you ordered fried chicken," she said, half-smiling. "You eat this when you're stressed, and you're definitely going through something. And despite the fact that it's just the two of us, you ordered 14 pieces of it. So, what's going on?"
I looked at her and hesitated. I wasn't ready to share yet. "I'm not ready to talk about it," I said softly.
She stared at me for a moment, waiting for me to spill, but I didn't budge. Sighing, she gave in but said, "I'm here whenever you're ready. But whoever that guy is..."
I interrupted, "How would you even know it's a guy? It could be something else."
Olivia scoffed, "It's definitely a guy. I can smell it from your voice on the phone."
I fell silent for a long moment. Then we both chuckled at the exchange.
"Alright," I said finally, "I'll tell you about him one of these days. But not now. It's just not something you need to worry about... for now."
"By the way, I already booked an Airbnb for tonight. Thank you for letting us crash here, Liv." Her eyes widened, and her brows furrowed. "But I told you, you could stay until tonight!"
I gently took both of her hands in mine and smiled, "Hey, hey, hey, Liv. Relax. The owner was kind enough to let us move in earlier and only charge us for tomorrow, okay? Plus, I wanted to have dinner with you, so I waited for you to get back from work. I also figured you'd need some time to prepare for the team coming tomorrow. And honestly, what's there to worry about? We're all good." She leaned back in her chair with a sigh, crossing her arms and pouting at me, clearly upset.
"Ihhhhh," she fumed, but I just smiled at her, knowing she would eventually come around and understand.
"Love you, Liv," I said, my voice softening.
"Love you too!" she replied, her tone childlike and filled with mock frustration. The way she said it made me laugh, and I immediately went to her, wrapping my arms around the best friend who had always been there to shield me from any pain.
"We've got to get going, Liv. You take care, alright? I'll let you know when we arrive at the Airbnb." I booked another Grab car, and just a few minutes later, as it pulled up, Olivia sighed heavily but still helped me carry our bags.
Lucky and Cleo jumped into the car with enthusiasm, their tails wagging. Once they were settled inside, I turned back to Olivia.
We shared one final, tight hug, both of us lingering for a moment, unwilling to let go. "Take care of yourself, Liv," I said, my voice thick with emotion.
"Same to you, Kz. Don't forget to call me if you need anything," she said, pulling back with a soft smile.
I nodded, offering her one last look before I slid into the car. With the door closed, I glanced out the window to see Olivia standing there, waving until the car pulled out of sight.
The ride to the Airbnb was quiet, with only the soft hum of the road and the occasional bark from Lucky or Cleo to break the silence. Despite everything that had happened, I knew I was taking the right step forward, even if it felt uncertain. The storm I was facing with Tyler, the questions lingering in my mind, they all still hung there, unresolved. There was still so much I didn't understand, but I was starting to accept that not every question needed an answer right away.
As we pulled into the driveway of the condo, the lights of the city twinkling in the distance, I felt a glimmer of hope stir within me. Maybe it was the view, or maybe it was the simple fact that I was taking charge of my own life, but in that moment, I felt like things could get better. I could handle whatever came next, one day at a time.
I lifted Lucky into my arms as I opened the door, Cleo trotting beside me. "Let's go inside," I said quietly, mostly to myself. "Let's see what tomorrow brings."
And with that, I walked forward, ready for whatever was next, knowing that I wasn't walking alone.