"Eric, don't cry, Kuya isn't really hurt! This is nothing, you'll see, I'll be better in no time!"
Those were my Kuya Jonathan's words as he sat on the hospital cot with bandages wrapped around his arms and his neck.
"Don't get angry with your Kuya Louie, okay? He didn't mean to do this. He was not in his right mind. You know how much I like him, right? Dry your eyes, there's no reason to cry."
That was exactly why I've always hated Louie – Kuya's best friend who keeps coming between my brother and me. He's my rival for Kuya's attention. The reason why my brother hardly has time to spend with me anymore.
And now...
"Guess what, Eric, we're going to be a couple now! Soon, he'll be your Kuya for real."
But I don't want him for a brother!
I don't know what Kuya ever saw in that jerk! He's just some loser he met in school who likes to crack stupid jokes and tease me all the time.
Worst of all, I can't understand why Kuya was so happy that Louie bit his nape.
I know it must have hurt. Just a little scratch can make me cry, how much more if you've been bitten all over your arms and nape?
I don't understand at all.
Naturally, I was scared. I thought that some demon would bite me, too. So scared, that I refused to leave the small room where we slept in our uncle's house.
But then I realized that people are scarier than demons.
Our uncle took Kuya to a hospital and found out that he was pregnant. It was a miracle back then, when women were so scarce, and the population was dwindling after the great cleansing killed more than half of the world's population.
Everyone was intrigued by the new phenomenon they called 'secondary genders'. Everyone wanted to learn more about them. And so, that night, our uncle came home, alone.
If I hadn't overheard his conversation with my aunt, I wouldn't have known that they sold my brother off to some research facility to be used a guinea pig.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
I was only six and small for my age and scared of monsters. Our parents were already gone, and the ones we should have depended upon, had sold my brother for some quick cash.
I knew how deplorable our situation was back then, and so, due to desperation, I had no other choice but to muster all my courage and seek help from the very person who caused all that trouble.
"Don't worry, Eric, no one can hurt us anymore, now that we're with Louie. No one can ever keep us apart again."
That's what Kuya Jonas claimed.
But I knew, as soon as I entered my enemy's home, that I have already lost my brother.
He no longer belongs to me alone.
I had nothing to complain about in the del Mirasol household.
Louie's parents treated us nicely. They were both cheerful and outgoing like their son. It comes with their lifestyle, after all. Privileged people who have hardly been through any hardship have no concept of despair.
But omegas were still new to the world, so it was no wonder that Kuya went through some complications while giving birth. He also got a cancerous growth in his miniature omega ovary from the experimental drugs he was forced to take when our uncle sold him off. It was a blessing that they saw it early on, but still, his body got weak after giving birth to their first child whom they called Blessing.
And so, life went on.
Louie's parents sent me to school and were delighted to find out that I was a genius with an IQ of 163. They allowed me to study abroad to learn more about the secondary genders with hopes that one day, I could be of help to omegas like my brother.
"Do you really need to go, Eric? You're only eight years old, and you're already moving away from kuya! Can't you just study here in the Philippines?"
Actually, the reason why I decided to leave was because I couldn't take it anymore.
As time passed by, the resentment I felt towards Kuya's mate, Louie, increased. I knew it wasn't healthy anymore, and I was afraid of what I might do or say if I stayed there any longer.
So, I went left the country to forget about my brother.
I finished college in two years, and two master's degrees in two more years. I was immediately scouted by Universal Laboratories US, as one of their lead researchers as soon as I graduated. I started there at age 12, which wasn't easy, not just because I was a kid, but also for being a beta of Asian descent. I faced so much discrimination that I learned how to toughen myself up in order to survive and fit in.
I was doing quite well, until a call came 5 years later.
'Eric, please come home, Kuya wants to see you.'
I knew at once that something was wrong with the tone of his voice.
"I met someone," he told me when I returned after 9 years abroad. "I hardly know him, all I know is that he's our eldest daughter's favorite author. But Eric... as soon as I saw him, as soon as are eyes met, I felt something that I have never felt before... not even with Louie..."
"What do you mean?"
"Eric... I wanted to be with him...It was like we were always meant to be together... like we've known each other all our lives... Eric... I think he's my fated pair..."
"So, you've finally accepted that Louie wasn't your fated pair?" I said triumphantly.
He looked at me sadly then, so sad that I felt ashamed of myself for asking such a question.
"Eric, I love Louie. I love him so much, as well as our two children. You just met Nat-Nat, right? He's so head strong and naughty, that he reminds me so much of you!"
"He's also the splitting image of his dad," I said dryly.
"Eric, please? I need your help. I don't want to lose my family... I could never live with that... but I can't, for the life of me, stay away from that man... so please... don't you have something I can take to make me forget about him?"
That's what he asked of me.
That's what I worked upon, day and night without sleep. A suppressant that would stop my brother from wanting another man. But no matter how strong I formulated the drug, he just couldn't stop himself from wanting that person.
It was then that I realized just how cruel fate could be.
"Louie, if you really love my brother, then set him free!" I insisted. "Let him be with his fated pair."
"Stop meddling in our affairs, Eric! This is my family, and if your brother truly wants to leave me, then he will. He will leave me himself only if he wants to!"
"And then what? How can you just stand by and watch as my brother wastes away because he can't be with his fated pair?!"
"You know well that they can't be together! Jonas is my mate! He bears my mark and we've been bonded for more than ten years!"
"Yeah, a mark that you forced upon him!"
"So, what do you want me to do?! Force him to leave?!Jonas chose me. He chose to stay with his family. He parted with that man for good and decided to stay, because I am his real fated pair!"
That's what Louie kept telling himself.
He chose to believe a lie even though he knew that he only trapped my brother with his bite mark. Kuya Jonas, on the other hand, had a remarkable fighting spirit. I knew how being apart from his fated pair drove him crazy, yet he kept strong for his family.
Until one morning, he woke up feeling as if he just woke from a terrible nightmare.
"Eric, your suppressants really are remarkable! See? I'm not feeling sick anymore. In fact, I've never felt this great in a long time!"
But I didn't deserve his praise.
A day later, I found out that that man killed himself.
I talked to Louie about it, in fact, we argued about the news. It was proof that the two of them were really fated, since Kuya Jonas only felt better after his pair lost his life. But Louie still insisted that he was my brother's fated pair, and in the end, we decided not to say anything about that man's death.
Until we found out that kuya Jonas was pregnant.
Until Mercy was born who looked exactly like my kuya and me.
Until his cancer suddenly relapsed.
It came back with a vengeance after all the stress and depression he went through, and because of that, Kuya Jonas wasn't even able to live to his youngest daughter's 1st birthday.
I was devastated then, but not as devastated as Louie was.
If I ever questioned his love for my brother before, I had no doubts about it then, after seeing how broken he was after Kuya's death.
The old prankster who laughs at everything was suddenly gone, and in his place was left the shell of a man who lost all of life's meaning. I dare say, if it wasn't his their three kids, he would have gladly taken his own life to be with my brother again. But he knew Blessing and Nathan still needed him, especially Mercy who reminded us more and more of Kuya Jonas each day.
I stayed with them those first three years.
I couldn't leave baby Meme alone, even though Louie's existence still pissed me off. I had no choice but to help out in the household until Louie was able to somehow move on.
My old college professor, Dr. Webb, employed me in the Universal Laboratories branch here in the Philippines. I couldn't go back to the US, after all, not when Baby Meme's smile reminds me of Kuya Jonas everyday.
Later, he included me in a top secret project. And now, I am chained to the company with no hopes of leaving.
And now, 10 years after my brother's death, I am once more reminded of his words as he lay on his death bed...
"You're so lucky Eric, you're a beta. You don't have pheromones that could bind you. You won't be forced on a person you don't actually love..."
"So, now you regret falling for that idiot Louie?" I asked sarcastically.
"No, Eric," he replied, "Louie is the one I truly love. I would still choose him, even if I was born an alpha, a beta, or a woman. My only regret is meeting that man... I know he was my fated pair, and because of that, our family's time together had to come to an end."
"But he was your fated pair! Your true destiny!"
"That's correct, Eric, but I didn't love him. My heart belongs only to Louie, though my body wanted someone else. And now, my body is dying because I chose to follow my heart."
"That's why I told you to leave Louie!"
Kuya slowly shook his head in sorrowful.
"Eric, what use is my life if I need to kill my feelings instead?"
He caressed my wet cheek, as a lump inside my chest prevented me from answering him.
"One of these days, Eric, I know you would understand how I feel... when you finally find someone you can love..."
"That would never happen!" I snapped at him. "I will never, ever, fall in love with anyone!"
Kuya simply smiled at me.
"You have always been stubborn. You know what you want and would do anything to get it. But there are things in this world that you can't stop and you can't force, Eric."
He looked past me, to where his family and his close friends stood, watching over him.
"I leave my only brother to your care," he told them. "And Eric, please take care of your nephew and nieces... the same way you took care of this silly Kuya of yours..."
I had no choice but to nod in reply.
"I'll be waiting for that day..." he added, "when you find someone more special than your kuya... I want you to introduce them to me then."
But that would never happen.
I could never find anyone to take your place.
I will never love someone more than I love...