-Eris-
One word: awkward.
No, actually, it's two words: awkward as fuck.
Oh shoot! That's actually three.
"A proper lady is not supposed to play with her food," or maybe it's just Eris who feels awkward eating with these people who are now her family. The man who sits at the head of the table, her father in this life, seems to have zero care in the world. On the other hand, the woman who sits across from her, her mother in this life, seems to care a little too much for someone who doesn't want a daughter like her. Or maybe it's her way of showing how much she despises her daughter: by constantly pointing out her mistakes.
"Oh sorry, I was just contemplating life while looking at this... tomatoes," Eris said as she tried to finish her sentence without stuttering.
"Hmm," the woman hummed and continued eating her food with sophistication befitting of a proper lady.
In the end, the awkwardness that she felt from the very beginning persisted until the very end of the breakfast.
"Is the breakfast filling, my lady?" a maid, whose name she doesn't know, said as she walked her back to her room.
"Well, you could say that." She was utterly stuffed, not with food, but with awkwardness, anxiety, and the barrage of 'lessons' from her supposed mother in this life. At this rate, she felt like she might just get indigestion from all of it.
The maid stopped in her tracks as if something unimaginable had just happened.
"Did you just talk, my lady?" she said, one hand on her lips and the other on her chest. "To me?" she added as if it was the best thing that ever happened to her. If she had a tail, it would be wagging like crazy.
"Yup, I just did," Eris responded coolly, which made the poor girl's heart go wild.
"My lady, forgive me, I think I just fell for your beauty," the maid said while dramatically sliding down the wall. Eris looked at her as if she had grown wings and started flying like a damn fairy.
"Wow, you did not overreact at all," she said sarcastically, shaking her head at the maid's antics.
"I did not overreact, my lady. The way you said those words with so much coolness, the way the wind blew your midnight lush, the way your skin glistened as the sun hit it gently, it was so… magical," the maid said dreamily.
"Okay, Shakespeare, we have already arrived at our destination," Eris said as she was about to open the door of her bedroom herself, but the maid beat her to it.
"Oh right. We're here," she laughed nervously.
For a few seconds, they just stood awkwardly by the door, the unsettling quietness making them both cringe in unison.
"Do you need anything?" Eris asked, trying to break down the sudden silence between them. This maid probably has something to tell me, she thought, but her face remained passive.
"Well, it's just... I know I'm just a maid, and I know that you are my lady whom I must serve with all my heart. But even though I'm just a maid and you are my lady..." The maid stopped. If Eris hadn't been paying attention, she would have missed how her eyes teared up and how she stopped them from falling down her cheeks by blinking rapidly.
"I don't want to impose. I'm sorry," the maid hung her head as if she already knew she was about to get a scolding.
"No, I want to hear what you have to say," Eris urged her to speak up. Her voice sounded like a mother's, gentle and soothing, as if lulling a baby. Still, the maid did not speak, as if embarrassed to be emotional in front of the lady.
Eris sighed, which made the poor maid flinch. It didn't go unnoticed to Eris.
"Maybe we should continue this conversation inside. Come in," Eris said as she gently pushed the maid on the back. Eris knew it would take longer for her to get some alone time.
They sat down on her pink bed.
Eris let her cry as much as she needed, lightly patting her hunched back. The girl was so thin. Eris could feel the poor maid's spinal cord through the thick fabric of her uniform, pressing against the palm of her hand, which was a bit worrying.
"I'm so sorry, my lady, my emotions are a bit hard to control," the girl said as she wiped her snot and tears on the sleeve of her uniform. "It's alright. If you suppress them, it might come out your butt as a fart," the maid snorted, and when she exhaled, a bubble of snot formed on her nostril and popped.
"And I doubt you'd want that," Eris finished as she looked at the girl, her eyes wide with amusement.
"Did you just..." Eris trailed off.
"OH. MY. GOSH. I-I'm very sorry," the girl stammered, half horrified, half mortified.
But as they locked eyes, the maid's worries disintegrated.
She saw it. The twitch, the quiver. The unmistakable signs of suppressed giggles bubbling up in her lady's throat. And just like a badly timed sneeze in a royal silence, the firework burst.
They exploded into laughter, snorts, wheezes, full-body trembles, the kind that makes your ribs beg for mercy and your dignity walk out the door. Eris tried to cover her mouth, but it only muffled the pig-like snort that escaped, which somehow made them laugh even harder.
At that moment, decorum had officially left the chat.
"That was so funny, holy shit," the maid immediately slapped her hands over her mouth, realizing she had spoken to Lady Eris as if she were one of her friends back home.
"Yep, fucking hilarious," Eris said, wiping the tears from her eyes. Hearing her lady say the F word made her eyes grow even bigger. It was amazing but at the same time, mortifying.
"Wow, I have never heard a noble lady say that word with so much intensity," she said, showing her admiration for Lady Eris.
"Is that a bad thing?" Eris asked, finally calming down from the high.
"It's not a bad thing. Not at all. As long as you're far from the hearing range of the Duchess or the Duke," the maid said, worried that her lady might get the scolding of a lifetime. She had seen how the duchess nitpicked her eating habits earlier. Her lady should be more careful.
Eris saw the worried look in her eyes. 'This girl might not be a bad person,' she thought.
"I won't let them hear, don't worry," Eris reassured, earning a warm smile from the maid's lips.
"So, what do you wanna talk about? You did not exactly elaborate what you want to say because of all the crying and snot bursting," Eris said, prolonging the first word as she looked at the maid. Although they had shared a warm moment seconds ago, it still didn't clear all the 'sus' energy she felt from the maid. After all, in this story, she's still the villainess who's surrounded by venomous snakes. She's just being careful not to die young.
"Oh, that... ahh, I just noticed that you're always quiet. Every time I try talking to you, you ignore me as if I'm the air floating around you. No matter how hard I try to make jokes or start a conversation, you just walk ahead as if it's just you and no one else. Not that you're obligated to say anything to me, but you don't even get mad or yell at me. I got worried because there was no reaction at all. Well, at least that was before," she grinned, happy that her lady wasn't just a mere soulless body but someone who could laugh and make jokes. She knew those rumors were false.
Eris smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. The original owner of this body, the real Eris Leonel Virelli, must have been hurting a lot inside, and no one knew how deeply she was hurt. The pain she suffered, she endured alone. She regressed and remembered all those painful memories, she was agonizing. And the fact that she couldn't even tell anyone about it since she literally had no one... was just heartbreaking.
No wonder she doesn't want to live again.
Maybe if she made even a little bit of an opening to let someone in, maybe her life would be a little better. Oh right, she did that, and ended up getting poisoned and dead. She's hurt, so all her walls are up. But those walls didn't just build in one day. Brick by brick, they started piling up from the neglect of her parents, the shunning by society, and the betrayal of that bastard.
Eris Virelli, the villainess, sucks at choosing who to trust, the author really pulled the most painful and trauma-inducing ending for her. Even in her supposed second life, it persisted and turned her into a wreck. Even she, Eris Hale, wouldn't be able to go on after experiencing death at the hands of someone she holds dear. Just thinking about it, if one of the sisters from the orphanage or the kids she helped take care of pulled a stunt like that to her, she'd rather not relive that life again.
"Well, I was really timid back then, huh. But you don't have to worry anymore because I'm a changed person now," Eris reassured her.
"Oh wait, I'm afraid I didn't get your name?" she asked, and the maid looked at her in confusion.
"But I already introduced myself to you, my lady. It was during my first day, two weeks ago," the maid said, puzzled.
Two weeks ago, huh? But it's only been hours since I woke up in this body. I gotta lie. This world is turning me into a liar.
"Ah! Well, you see, I wasn't... ahh, paying attention. I'm so sorry—" Before Eris could even finish her apology, the maid had already cut her off.
"It is not your fault, my lady. Please do not trouble yourself," she said gently, standing up and offering a graceful bow. "Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Matilda, one of the three newly appointed maids assigned to serve you. It is my honor to be at your service." She was still a stranger in this world, but something about Matilda's trembling voice and soft smile made her want to protect her.
'Where did this sudden formality come from?' Eris thought, amused by how fast Matilda changed her attitude, from carefree and friendly to professional. Her coworkers back in her world couldn't hold a candle to this young girl. And she looked like she had just turned fifteen.
"You look younger than me," Eris said, unable to stop the thought from slipping out.
"Do I? I'm already twenty, my lady," Matilda said, tilting her head to the side, making her look like a curious child. Her short, wavy brown hair swayed with the motion. Her upturned, honey-colored eyes turned golden as rays of sunlight peeked through the window. Her snub nose crunched slightly, and her bow-shaped lips curled into a tiny smile. She was also small and thin, which added to her youthful appearance.
'I hope it's just genetics and not because she's malnourished,' Eris thought, worried about the very first person in this world who had treated her warmly.
For a second, fear crossed the maid's irises. Eris felt the change in the air, and when she looked toward the door, she saw the disrespectful butler from earlier, looking annoyingly dashing with his white, slicked-back hair, sharp yellow monolid eyes that looked mischievous, his Greek-like nose that seemed to be in everybody's business, and his high cheekbones. He honestly looked like a model, if not for his unprofessional behavior, Eris would have liked him a bit.
"Oh... I forgot to knock," the butler said with a playful smile. He knocked on the already open door three times, then smiled at Eris as if expecting her to appreciate the gesture, despite the fact that he'd already entered without permission. Again.
This made her blood boil to its highest point. Like a kettle in an old animated film, imaginary steam shoots out of her ears as she glared at the butler with the dirtiest look she could muster.
"Out!" she screamed, startling both the maid and the butler, though one of them was clearly mocking.
"Well, I have some news for you, my lady. I think you'll be very glad to hear it," the butler said with a Cheshire grin on his face.
'So annoying!' Eris thought, but she didn't say anything and let him continue with what he had to say. Seeing this, the butler's grin grew even wider, making poor Matilda shiver in fright. Eris only rolled her eyes at his antics.
He pulled an envelope from inside his waistcoat and unhurriedly handed it to Eris. She looked at both the butler and the letter with suspicion.
"I won't explode after I open this, right?" she asked, looking concerned, earning a loud gasp from Matilda.
"What? You wound me, my lady. I could never..." he said, clutching his heart as if he were hurt. But Eris knew he wasn't; the big grin on his face was proof enough.
"Does he think he's handsome with that big-ass grin on his face?" Eris whispered, but it seemed this butler had a pair of sharp ears.
"I am confident that I look charming in whatever expressions I make," the butler said, an annoying smirk playing on his stupidly dashing face.
'How come everyone I meet in this house looks gorgeous? Even this trashy butler looks too good to be true,' Eris thought.
"Whatever floats your boat," she sighed in resignation. She flipped the envelope and saw an insignia. It was a red rose in full bloom. Eris was confused, but she didn't show it on her face, so as not to spark suspicion from the other two people in the room.
The original Eris Virelli must've known who's this from. But she didn't. Not yet. And until she did, she'd have to act like she did. She looked at both Matilda and the butler and said, "I want to read this letter alone."
Matilda immediately got up, bowed with a small smile on her lips, and left, happy that she wouldn't be sharing the same space as the butler.
"I said I want to be alone," she said, turning her head toward the unwanted intruder. "And don't pout. You look constipated." With that, the butler sucked in his lips, bowed deeply, and before closing the door, mockingly wiped away his imaginary tears, making sure Eris saw him looking like this.
'So dramatic,' Eris thought. But then she remembered that she still had something to discuss with the butler, something that involved the new friend she'd made.
"Ah, wait!" she called out. She thought he hadn't heard her, but like a torpedo, he was already back, a big smile on his face.
"You need anything, my lady?"
"Yes, I do need to tell you something," Eris said, staring at the butler with a serious expression, hoping he would take whatever she said seriously, because if not, they'd definitely have a problem.
The butler cleared his throat and said, "I'm all ears, my lady." And for the first time since she'd met the butler, she saw him serious.
"It's about Matilda," Eris said as she met the butler's eyes.
"And what about the maid, my lady? Did she make a mistake, perhaps?" the butler asked, looking more intrigued now than serious.
"Of course not!" The words came out more defensive than she intended, but surprisingly, the butler didn't comment.
"I saw it, the fear in her eyes when she looks at you," Eris said. Her tone was calm, yet underneath it, a thousand accusations were hidden.
But the butler seemed to catch on. After all, eyes don't lie. She could mask her voice or her demeanor, but those deep emerald eyes couldn't hide from his yellow ones.
'Maybe I could tease her a bit,' a sadistic glint in his eyes as the thought crossed his mind.
"You don't have to worry, my lady. You don't have to care for a mere servant like her." But after he said those words, a shift in the air occurred. Something cracked.
Maybe, just maybe, he could still take those words back.
But those words already hit Eris, like that one single arrow that accidentally slipped through the cracks and hit her with precision. They weren't even directed at her, but she felt them, reckless words, spoken without much thought.
She'd heard those words before. Not in those exact syllables, but in the way, some people looked at her kind mother. As if she were disposable.
"Get out," she said, her voice trembling slightly.
"My lady—" The butler wanted to say something, anything, to patch up the crack he'd made. But the look in Eris's eyes stopped him. The words died in his throat. For once, silence felt heavier than steel.
It wasn't calm, nor did it hide anything behind it. It didn't burn with the usual spark of fire born out of annoyance. It was just a pair of lonely eyes, something even the fiercest assassin in the Kingdom of Aurel couldn't handle.
At the end of the day, Gideon Crowe only knows how to break, not to mend.
-to be continued-