I don't want to give the impression that I suddenly started viewing Joe as a controlling monster. I didn't. Mostly our relationship was unchanged. It's just that every once in a while, I would have those chilling doubts. Wondering if my thoughts and feelings were really my own and then knowing that Joe knew I wondered about his loyalty and motives… In some ways, knowing he was aware of my doubts about him was the most painful part of it. It felt a little like betraying my friend. But he knows that, too, I thought.
Rafael and Maribel had decided to choose volunteers from Guatemala. Their idea was that people with a common background and common culture would more easily form a cohesive community in the new colony. They wanted to go one step further than that and establish the new colony based on Mayan culture, minus the human sacrifices and warrior culture, of course.
