The sounds of military engines zoomed past the street as they remained hidden under the cover of a manhole. The streets were lit with street lights. And the white bright moon was larger than life in the vast black sky. In Eric's eyes, the stars seemed to all most be revolving around the moon. Then his admiration was halted by a loud screeching noise that could be heard across the entire city. Judging by how loud it was, Eric could tell it was coming from the city's square. The noise suddenly disappeared and was replaced by a deep voice. Eric looked over at the siblings, only to see a slight glimmer of anger and surprise on their faces.
"Good evening people of Bentiu. My name is Lual Arok Dengor. The President of this beautiful country we call South Sudan, also known as the south of the land of the blacks. This is only being broadcasted in Bentiu. I am speaking to you today to inform you of my growing suspicion, a suspicion that I hope with all my heart to be just fantasy. My people I fear that there is a uprisining growing and gathering to tear us down. They have their eyes set on our country's growing riches. But I will not give it to them. My intelligence have gathered that our neighbours who we thought were our friends, are circling around us like hyenas, ready to pounce on us at anytime. I'm sure you all are a little disturbed by the public execution that took place this afternoon. Those people were traitors to this nation. A group tasked by our adversaries to use their tongues to spread turmoil in our country, slowly infecting our people's minds, leading the people to believe that the government are traitors to their own people. That couldn't be more further from the truth. My people I can assure you that we the government consider our people's well being every single day. And we are striving to be Africa's richest country by the year of 2031, thanks to the massive amounts of gold being found on our land. But we can't keep advancing forward until we put a end to our enemies. So I ask you my people, are you ready to rise up and answer the call. Will you come to the aid of our future. Are you ready to take up arms and fight for our future, our children and our growing prosperity? Will you? Will you destroy our enemies and manifest our destiny into reality? If so rally together in the city square tomorrow at 4 pm in the evening. Rejoice my people, for after our swift and great victory, our long awaited dream…. will finally be birthed into existence."
Silence quickly filled the air. In every house Eric could hear family's awing, some sounded excited, and some debated. Eric looked over at Arop and Nyangdeng, their faces were a mixture of disbelief and anger.
"So they already knew about us….Let's just hurry up and go get what we came for." Arop murmured as he climbed out of the Manhole.
"I know a good supermarket nearby we can break into. It's not far from here." Nyangdeng said.
And without saying anything he moved out the way for his sister, so she could lead the way. And she did. She climbed out and without even looking at him she started walking. Seeing this Arop and Eric glanced at each other, before following her.
As they were walking Eric was again lost in the vastness of his mind. Each thoughts hitting him like a rock. I need to find him and get the hell out of bentiu. A big war is coming. We might have to leave Ghana or even just leave the continent.
"Eric, i'm sorry you had to see that in the bar."
He quickly looked over at Arop.
"What did you say?"
"I said i'm sorry for what happened in the bar."
Eric paused.
"Oh don't worry about it. It's none of my business."
There was a brief pause between them before Eric asked.
"Do you think what the revolution wants is right?"
"Haah." Arop lifted a eyebrow.
"I mean is it really worth it, to start a rebellion? You know what would happen if you lose right?"
Arop paused, contemplated.
"I don't know….No, that was a lie. To be honest, our lives aren't that bad to tear down the entire country for it. And it's not the governments fault that we're poor. We were born into poverty through a long line of miserable people who wanted a better life, but didn't make it, thanks to their own destiny. So to answer your question Eric, no it's not the government's fault. It's our own existence that's at fault."
Eric glanced over at him.
"Wait, what do you mean, your existence is at fault."
"Eric. Do you believe in the thing called destiny. I believe in it. Destiny is a really powerful concept. It can write people's entire lives from the day they were born and to their very deaths. And because we were born on the wrong side of the dice, we had to suffer the effects of destiny's cruelty."
"Are you saying we are all a slave to destiny's game."
Arop looked over at Eric.
"That's exactly what i'm saying. We are never free from destiny. No matter how much you run from it, you will only find yourself spiraling in it's palm. Running away from the concept destiny is impossible, there is no escaping it…. And that scares me."
"...."
Arop chuckled.
"To be honest Eric, the more I try to keep up this fasade, the more i'm scared of breaking myself. I know my mask is cracking with each day goes by, but I just need to hold out. I need to hold out as long as I can for my family."
"What are you talking about?" Eric looked at Arop with confusion.
"I'm sure you have seen it yourself. In the bar."
Eric thought back to the bar, when Arop lashed out at his sister.
"Are you talking about what happened in the bar? But that was normal. You were just sad about what happened to your family. Anyone would have acted the way you did."
"No. That shouldn't be me. That's not the me my family needs right now. My father and grandparents died trying to outrun something that is predetermined, and I have to follow them."
"You don't have to follow anyone. Let them go and die in their meaningless war. You have nothing to do with this." Eric shot back.
"Your right Eric. I don't have to follow anyone. But I will. My family and even all the adults in the revolution are all dumb as fuck, even me. But I don't care. You know Eric, even though it's blurry, I can still see it. The dark glimber of nothingness. Death, awaiting me with open arms, as I draw nearer towards it."
"But you can escape it. You can escape your destiny."
"To where Eric?"
"...."
"That's what I thought. I told you. Destiny is a concept you can never run from. Even destined death is nothing but a servant to destiny."
Eric paused, his thoughts going wild, he can't concentrate on one thought anymore, until he violently grabbed Arop's arm.
"You know don't you. You know that you can't win."
"Yes. I will die. I don't know when. But I know it will be soon."
"And your ok with that?"
"Yes. Me, my brother, and my sister will die along with every single one of those power hungry retards who don't know their place in life. But like I said Eric… I don't care. I just need to put some clay on to my already cracking mask, and wear it to the very end of our lights."
"Why…"
"So I don't see tears running down my siblings cheeks."
Suddenly Eric was hit with a realization.
"You don't care about your parents do you?"
Arop paused, his eyes widened, then he burst out in laughter.
"I guess I don't. It looks like I have been lying to myself this entire time. Geez i'm such a idiot."
"...."
Your right, I despise every single Adult in this world. I despise that smelly old man that would always go on and on about being broke. I despise that fat old hag that just sat there pretending to be a good mother while she listened and daydreamed about our father stupid fantasies. And I despise every single adult in the revolution that infected their children with their bullshit dreams. You know it too don't you Eric. You know if we some how win, nothing will change. They have all been deceived by their own ambitions." A tear slipped from his eye.
Eric stayed silent. His mind trying to unravel Arop's ideology. But no matter how many times he tried to debunk it, he always came to the conclusion that Arop is right. But still, he refused to believe in it, he refused to be corrupted by Arop's world.
There was a long pause before Arop asked.
"Do you have a conclusion."
Eric paused before responding.
"No, but I have a question for you. Even if you don't believe it's possible to defy the predestined, will you not at least try, for the sake of the 2 people you love?"
Arop face lit up with realization, as if he had never considered that route before. He took seconds to ponder it, until he finally found a response for Eric.
"No, I will not. To convince my siblings and make them see the world for what it is, will expose their eyes to all the evils in this world. And eventually they will adopt their own ideologies that are most likely going to be similar to mine."
"..." Eric stayed silent, defeated.
"Eric, what you have to understand is that children like you and me are anomolies. The concept of evil should be completely invisible to us. We shouldn't be able to even see a flicker of it. But yet I can see it in full, while you know it's there, but you turn away from it." He said looking over at Eric for a answer, but he remained silent.
"5 years ago, I remember thinking to myself, why do adults love children, but yet despise us at the same time? I eventually came to the conclusion that it's because we were born with the absence of black. Thus, we couldn't perceive black…. I remember like it was yesterday. I was running home one day, after just buying something from old man Keji. It was raining, so I decided to take one of my favourite shortcuts to go home. Then I saw it, black at it's most beautiful. A man was getting stabbed by a group of men, near the gully. I watched as his lifeless body fell into it. But not without his lifeless eyes meeting mine first. In that moment, my eyes truly open for the first time ever in my life. I was enlightened, and through that enlightenment I saw a world with little colour. The only form or colour I could see was black, white, and red, nothing else. I was shook, I couldn't move my body, my vision darkened, the only thing I could hear was static. Then the men saw me and chased after me, evading their hands as I ran home. I remember thinking, they want to hurt me? But why? They are adults. In that moment it just didn't make sense to me. I eventually some how lost them. I didn't get much sleep for weeks, all that I could see was the memory replaying over and over and over again. Until one day I over heard my parents and their friends talking about some young men who got arrested for multiple muders and got life in prison. I admit, I was relieved, but it took a long time before I finally got over it…. So do you understand now Eric, I have already been defiled, I will never again have the privilege to be a child again… Eric children are the most beautiful things in this world. They are the physical manifestation of ignorance. That is why I will not save my siblings from death. It is better to die, unaware of what the world really is, than to die already exposed to the evils of this world." Several tears fell from his eyes.
"....Eric, do you know what I fear even more than death. Is the fact that I will eventually grow up and be just as black as the rest of them. And that's where it all comes back to destiny… To me destiny is the most evil of all the concepts. It is a supreme outer god. A concept that rules over all. In my eyes destiny is darker than black. "
There was a brief pause before Arop continued.
"All I can do now is keep living with the hatred I bare towards my powerless self. And keep pretending to chase a unreachable dream with my brother and sister, until the very end."
Eric turns towards Arop.
"Arop, the things you just told me shouldn't have came out of your mouth. And it wasn't meant for my ears. No child should no such things."
"So you agree."
"NO… no I don't. I admit that some of the stuff you said were true. But I refuse to adapt your ideology.
"Still clinging to your ignorance?"
Eric didn't respond, he just looked deep into Arop's eyes, his eyes coated with determination.
"Eric, do you think it's weird that I only have love for my siblings… And do you think i'm a abomination, a disgusting being that should no longer be allowed to live.
"...."
Arop chuckled and tapped Eric on his arm, smiling.
"Eric, let's be friends. I've never really been able to have this kind of conversation with anybody my age. You must be really smart." He said, reaching out his hand to Eric.
"Sure."
Eric shook his hand.
"From today onwards we're friends. And don't worry, I refuse to corrupt anyone with my ideology. They would probably pass me off as autistic anyway. " He said looking at Eric with a bright smile on his face.
He could only nod.
In the corner of Eric's eye, he could see Nyangdeng glancing at them. Their eyes made contact, almost instantly she shot him a menacing glear, before continuing her speed walking. She must really not like me. Eric thought.
On their way to the supermarket Eric and Arop talked about themselves and their past. Eric talked about his experience with soccer and why he finally quit the sport he loved. Arop related with a past experience about a time he sprained his ankle during practice. But at the back of his mind he had the answer to Arops previous question. Eric believed Arop was a walking abomination, a boy turned into a monster by evil through his own wisdom. He doesn't hate Arop, but instead he hates his ideology. Despite everthing that Arop said to convince him, he refuses to falter. Eric doesn't want to live in a world that is being narrated by destiny, otherwise what's the meaning of life itself. If human beings don't have free will, and are fated to feel the embrace of black, then why keep living, why be just a pawn in a far greater narrative. This is the reason why Eric refuses to adopt Arop's ideology, because his very ideology is black itself, a black so horryfying that it will devour him whole, leaving nothing left, but a shell of his former self, filled with black and a never ending rage for life. Eric doesn't want to be that monster, so he will prove Arop wrong, he will keep denying it until he can find the real beauty of life and show it to Arop. He will change his lenses and he will save him and himself, this he vows.
"Aro."
The sounds of gun shots rung in the air, followed by a loud rouring sound of military engines, quickly approaching.
They quickly hid in a alleyway as the vehicles past. Each one with several men in the trunks, with a huge gun attached to the roofs. Each one maned by a soldier that rotated the large weapons around, as if they couldn't wait to unleashe it. Eric gulped.
"Nyangdeng, how far is the supermarket?" Arop asked.
She took a while to respond.
"It's just around the corner."
As soon as the noise of the trucks dissappeared from their ears, they ran, taking quick looks across the street before turning the corner. In front of them was a massive unfinished building that towered over all of the buildings in the city.
"This is massive. I always thought this was a new government building." Arop said.
Nyangdeng remained silent.
"I don't think this is a supermarket. This looks like a mall."
"Never been in one."
Suddenly a chilling rush of wind past by them, stinging their skins. Eric felt uneezy, in his mind something wasn't right. I know that there are some people who are afraid of the military, but you would at least think that somebody would feel brave enough to break in the mall. Plus they ransacked the stores, so what's the difference. He thought, as he looked around for any broken windows or at least a sign of a shard of broken glass, but there was none. Then right on que, the wind returned, whispering in his ear, but besides the sound of rush of the wind, this time he heard a flapping noise, a flapping of fabric. He looked up and saw a white fabric, with letters, written with red spray paint. It read, No trespassing, this will soon be used as a temporary military facility. Those who are caught will be arrested immediately, and taken into custody to be interrogated.
Eric's eyes widened as he steered up at the sign.
"Arop, look." He pointed.
Nyangdengs face twisted into fear, but Arop was calm, his facial expression didn't even flinch in the slightest.
"We have to go back." She said, backing away.
"You. show us where Atem and Akeer is."
Eric nodded slowly.
He agreed with her, it's not worth it. Even though Atem needs aid, it's better to wait until tomorrow evening, maybe they could find a nearby clinic.
Eric took a step back then Arop spoke.
"You can go back, me and Eric are going to get what we came for."
Her mouth opened and closed, only able to sound a few letters.
Eric looked over to Arop, only to find him glaring at him. It wasn't a glare of anger or ill will, it was more of a challenge. As if challenging Eric to prove him wrong. If they go into the mall, will destiny use causality to punish them in the near future, or will nothing happen and destiny smile upon them. Or maybe death is waiting for both of them in the mall and destiny allows them to escape the clutches of death. But despite the blurry routes Eric has a head of him, he is going in. He is tired of running away, he is tired of being afraid, and he is tired of feeling so weak and relying on others. Deep inside he knows it's stupid, but how is he going to proove Arop wrong if he can remains a coward?
Eric shot Arop a glare, accepting his challenge.
"A, are you serious? It's not safe."
Arop switch his glare over to nyangdeng, morphing his glare into annoyance.
"This is why I didn't want you to come."
"But… If we get caught."
Arop interrupted her.
"How useless can you be Nyangdeng."
Her eyes widened, forming a pool of tears.
"You know what, it's fine. You can go back to Mother, or you can stay here and be the look out. Do whatever you want."
Her lips shivered as tears quickly slipped down from her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away and turned her back to them. Try as she might she couldn't stop her loud sniffling from being heard.
But her brother just ignored her, while he nelt down to pick the lock, until they both heard a clicking sound.
"Whistle if you hear anything."
Nyangdeng didn't respond.
As Eric followed Arop, he glanced over to her, only to see her watery eyes, before disappearing behind a wall of concrete.
Inside the mall was dark, the only way they could see was the moonlight radiating through the windows. At certain parts were cracked walls and a couple cement bags. The other parts were sealed off with tape, warning them that those areas were still heavily under construction.
"Are you sure there are supplies here?" Eric asked.
"No, but there is a if. And if there is a if, then there is a possibility." He said, jumping over the construction tape.
"Strugglers don't get to choose."
Eric looked at him confused. In response Arop gave him a smile.
"You'll eventually understand."
What a weared person. But for some reason I feel use to it. We known each other for just a couple hours, but it feels like I have known him my whole life. His thoughts were interrupted by the voice of Arop.
"Is that the moving stairs thing? He asked, pointing to 2 escalators.
Eric nodded.
"Yes, they are called escalators."
"Wow, I only ever seen them in movies."
He immediately started running towards it.
"Race you to the top."
In a split second he hesitated before succumbing to Arop's peer pressure.
They both jumped over the construction tape and began running up the escalator. Eric ran fast as he could, but Arop was a few steps ahead of him. And eventually Eric's fatigue started to kick in, until he tripped on the last couple stairs, solidifying Arop's victory.
Eric breathed in and as he crossed his final step, only to meet his smiling face a the end.
"I win."
Eric gave him a thumbs up as he tried to catch his breath.
"It looks like they closed off the entrance, to the rest of this place." He said, pointing to a barred gate.
Eric got up and tried to tug at it, but of course there is no way getting through. Then he looked up, he saw space between the top and the gate, but narrow.
"You think you could get through if I boosted you up."
"I could get through, but what about you?" He asked.
Eric didn't think that much ahead. As he quickly contemplated what to do he realised something.
"Wait, can't you pick the lock again, like you did earlier."
"I can't. I tried earlier but my pin broke inside." He said, pointing to the tiny piece of metal stinking out of the lock.
Eric sighed.
"It looks like you have to go without me. I will just wait outside with your sister. He said, getting into position to boost him up.
"Maaaybe you don't have to."
"What."
Arop tapped Eric on his shoulder, before pointing his finger at a broken window on the roof.
Eric looked at Arop confused.
"Look there." He said, pointing to a ladder on there left, that led up to the roof.
Eric's heart dropped to his stomach.
"What, no, no. That's too dangerous."
"You will be fine. I'm coming with you."
That didn't make Eric feel a least bit better. Right before he was going to utter the words no, he stopped himself. Gritting his teeth, he looked Arop dead in his eyes and nodded.
And before Eric could even prepare himself, he was on the roof, on his knees crawling. Feeling the now violent rush of wind past by him. But Arop, he looked unmoved by the world, as he steared up at the night sky.
"Eric, are you ok." He said, smiling down on him.
Eric could only nod in response. Even the slightest effort to speak made his heart lunge.
Arop chuckled.
"Eric look over there."
He looked, and Eric saw a city without it's lights. Except for one specific part of the city, it was near the center.
"Is that where the army is."
Arop nodded.
"Yes, and the sooner you get out of this city the better And with your luck, you might not get involved."
As they stered off into the city, they both remained silent, envisioning what the city might become in a couple months.
Finding his conclusion Arop asked Eric this.
"Eric, what exactly do you plan on doing after you leave?"
"I…, I don't know. I. It's not for me to decide."
Another rush of wind past by, filling Eric's ears with it's whispers.
"Of course."