The loud sound of panting interrupted the silence of the empty streets—its origin, an exhausted girl, barely managing to lift a leg forward. As she put a hand on a wall for support, she could feel the burning in her lungs and a sharp pain on the left side of her abdomen. Trying to catch her breath, the pain slowly eased, and her mind began to steady with each inhale. Looking around, she recognized where she was. Then she realized she was close—if she ran without stopping, she'd be there in two, maybe three minutes.
"All I have to do is run. …I have to run," she said, with a hoarse breath.
Despite the discomfort she began to run. She tried not to focus on the pain, instead focusing on what she'd been told to do. This time, she told herself, …this time I'm not going to be useless. She ran faster, feeling the air quickly fill and exit her lungs, further straining them. The burning sensation only got worse, but she told herself it was bearable. She zoomed across streets and alleyways, pushing herself further with each stride, imagining herself with wings, propelling her forward, past who she'd been just moments ago, granting her freedom from her shame. Suddenly a smile appeared on Nyangdeng's face, her eyes shimmering with joy and excitement.
"I'm not…I'm not useless. …I can do it. I can do it," she said, a chuckle escaping her afterward.
But unfortunately for her, Nyangdeng's joy was short-lived. As she chuckled, something struck her kneecap. The pain didn't fully register until she crashed to the ground. Immediately it screamed through her whole body, disturbing her senses. The only thing she could hear was her own ragged breath and beating heart. She let out a loud cry of pain, hugging her knee as tears streamed down her face. Suddenly she heard a screeching sound, and instantly her heart plummeted to her stomach.
"Hahaha, hey, girly. Where you going in such a hurry? I almost lost you."
It was one of the beasts, and it had come to eat her. As it drew nearer it dragged its harsh, heavy weapon against the ground, transforming the alleyway into a haunting scene straight out of a horror movie—a scene where they were the only two who existed, where she was the prey and he was the predator. She tried to say, no, please don't hurt me, but all that came out was a loud scream. This didn't deter the beast at all; in fact he grinned at her, looking quite pleased and amused by her pain. As he came closer and closer she started screaming at the top of her lungs, hoping anybody, anyone, would come to her rescue. Then she thought of her brother—her big brother, whom she always held in high regard. Even though he was only a few minutes younger, she could never bring herself to call him her little brother; it would just make her look like a complete fool, at least in her own eyes. Arop could do things Nyangdeng wouldn't even be capable of. Whenever she tried, her legs would tremble in front of whatever obstacle lay ahead, but not Arop—he always charged in, without a second thought. How, she wondered, could this boy, younger than her, have surpassed her by such a distance? Whenever she looked at his back she could barely even see it; he'd left her so far behind. She wondered if she'd ever be able to see his back again, ever understand what was going on inside his head. But if she didn't escape, she never would. Nyangdeng began screaming louder, crawling on the ground, trying to get out of the alleyway so her voice could reach anybody nearby.
"Nobody's coming to save you, girl. They're all at the rally."
This did not stop Nyangdeng from screaming. She kept crawling, dragging her bloodied leg along. She knew the chances of someone finding her were low, but she hoped there was some miracle out there that would save her from this nightmare. That's right, she told herself—this all has to be a nightmare. This can't be real. All of this can't be real. There's no way I'm going to die. There's no way I'm going to be killed by this man. …I…I…I don't want to die.
"I don't want to die," she said, her voice low and exhausted, her fingers barely reaching the light outside the alleyway.
"We all don't want to die, girl. There isn't a single human alive who doesn't fear death—at least none I've met. But that's the beauty of it all. There's just something so addicting about hurting and killing other people, especially the innocent ones. It fills me with excitement, seeing people with no evil in their hearts look at me with confusion and fear as I take their lives. I know what they must be wondering—what did I do to deserve this." The man let out a loud laugh before continuing.
"In truth, you did nothing wrong at all. Nobody has—nobody on this evil green world has ever truly committed evil. For a long time I blamed the people, then I blamed the government, but ever since that day, all those years ago, my eyes have been opened. I've reached enlightenment. Humans aren't the source of evil, no—they're just pawns, all controlled by a higher power. I don't know if this higher power is the universe or a god, but whatever it is, it takes amusement in our suffering. Everything wrong with this world is caused by it. It bends human morality with the progression of time and makes it the reason for war and death to plague humanity. That bending of morality with time can be individual, or it can happen to an entire society, or both—that's how evil men are born. And once those evil men have blossomed into the incarnation of pure evil, they infect others, wreaking havoc upon the world, creating a field of gore, blood, sweat, suffering, and pain—isn't that what war is? That's exactly what it is. War is this giant cosmic game of the universe, and the victor stands triumphant, soaked in blood, standing atop piles of bodies he's murdered in order to impose his own wishes and sense of morality upon the world. Then after that, the cycle continues, over and over and over again. It never stops. Time never stops for anyone. It doesn't matter if you're not ready; it doesn't matter if you don't have the perseverance—you'll be forced to become a character in a far greater narrative. …So you see, girl, a murderer isn't evil, a tyrant isn't evil, a selfish person isn't evil, a greedy person isn't evil, and a lustful person isn't evil either, because if those acts are allowed by god, is it truly evil, or are they just doing what they were always meant to do? Maybe in all of us there's a monster, ready to be unleashed upon the world, whispering intrusive thoughts in your ear—thoughts you never considered acting on—and one day you listen. And when you do, it feels good, and you start doing it again and again, until you find yourself outside of humanity, all alone. You can no longer connect with people emotionally; you no longer share their worldviews or moral beliefs; you share nothing with anyone anymore. All you are is an anomaly of society, forced to blend in, wear their moral beliefs, hold conversations and opinions everybody else would share. But you can't keep up the facade for long. Eventually that monster dormant inside you will pounce. What will you do then—will you take the path of the beast, or will you be killed by society and forgotten as a monster in human skin? Tell me, girl, what path would you choose?" he asked, looking down at her for a response.
Nyangdeng opened her mouth, wanting to respond, but she didn't know what he was talking about—all that came out was a cry of pain as she held her bloody knee.
"Sigh. Well, I didn't expect you to understand. And you don't need to, because our president, Lual Arok Dengor, understands us. He actually understands us. He doesn't see us as the monsters everyone paints us to be; he sees us as actual people, no different from everybody else. …Through him, change will be imposed upon the world, but this change will last forever. It won't simply fade away with time—it will be engraved in all of us. And to make this change come to fruition, we must climb the layers of reality until we finally find the being that made all of us this way. …But that's enough talking from me. God, I rambled way too much. Oh well, I guess I really needed to get all of that out, even though I doubt you understood anything I said. …Now, where were we." The man dragged the metal pipe along the ground, that same screeching sound, until it passed Nyangdeng's legs and stopped at her crotch, at her skirt.
"What are you, like eleven years old?" he asked, smiling.
"Well, even better. I can't wait to hear your lovely screams. …Maybe they'll finally let me sleep well tonight," he said, picking up her leg and dragging her deeper back into the alleyway.
Yeah, I'd be angry at the world too. Even though this man is more than twice my age, I can relate to him somehow. I hate being the only weak person in a group of kids my age who act like grown adults. It makes me feel weak, unneeded, alone. That's why I always try my best to be like them, but every single time I try, I'm reminded I'm just a little girl. What can I do? What can I possibly do to be their equal? …The answer I always get is nothing. I'll always have the body and mind of a child. There's nothing I can do. …And…that hurts. …It hurts so much. …But I don't want to die. I want to keep chasing my brother, until I can finally see his back again. Just the sight of it will be enough for me, she thought, mustering all her strength, ignoring the pain. Then she let out a loud scream for help. The man dragging her ignored her, but she kept screaming. Then she clenched her teeth and swallowed her pride. No one was coming to save her, but she knew a person who for sure would—her own big brother, Arop. That's how much faith she had in him. Even though she didn't like always having him come to her rescue, she didn't want to die yet. So she screamed for him.
"Big brother, help me. Please, help me," she screamed as loud as she possibly could.
Hearing her screams for her brother, the man dragging her smiled in amusement.
Finally, with the last of her strength, she mustered a final scream.
"Arop."
Her voice had left her; nothing came out of her mouth but air escaping her lips. And just as hope seemed lost, she heard someone else's voice—not hers, not the man dragging her, and not her brother's. It was a stranger's voice.
"Keji, take her away."
Nyangdeng's head looked up toward the exit of the alleyway to find two people running toward her. She immediately felt relief.
"Ahh, well, look at that. People did show up to save you after all. Looks like all that screaming paid off."
The man let go of Nyangdeng and retreated a few feet back. As one of the men reached her, he immediately scooped her into his arms, told her she'd be all right, and ran off with her. As she traveled in his arms she realized her skirt was wet. Oh, did I pee myself, she thought—but she didn't dwell on it, instead focusing her attention on the man carrying her. She couldn't quite make out his face for some reason. But just as she was about to thank him and ask his name, she felt her consciousness slipping away, until it finally did. But before she fully fell asleep, she had one last thought: I wonder what kind of man Lual Arok Dengor is.