Within the compound of the Root survivor, Sai sat cross-legged in his room, scratching his head in frustration. His floor was littered with scrolls and sheets of parchment, each one covered in his careful ink strokes. For the past several days, he had been painting in seclusion, trying desperately to create the "ideal artwork" that Jiraiya-sama had requested from him.
But there was a problem.
Jiraiya, the Toad Sage, had tasked him with producing a painting inspired by the essence of Icha Icha Paradise, his legendary novel series. Sai had studied them diligently. In fact, he had turned those orange-bound books upside down, reading and rereading them until he could practically recite every passage word for word. Yet… his brush refused to capture what Jiraiya was demanding.
The first time he had brought a finished piece to Jiraiya, the white-haired Sannin had merely glanced at it, sighed, and muttered, "No, this won't do."
Sai, who rarely showed emotion, had been confused.
Since then, every attempt had met the same fate. Jiraiya always shook his head, told him to "read more of his novels" or "go outside and observe real women," and then left Sai more confused than ever.
Today was no different. He sat staring at the figure of a woman he had just inked—elegant lines, soft shading, the curve of her hip. Still, something felt wrong.
"Jiraiya-sama said plump and curvy…" Sai muttered aloud, scratching his scalp. "What does that mean exactly? Isn't this curve enough?!"
He sighed deeply, pulled the page from the easel, and set it aside. Grabbing a fresh sheet of paper, he dipped his brush again. He resolved to sketch multiple versions, hoping at least one would satisfy the Sannin's ridiculous standards.
Just as his brush touched the paper, there was a knock at the door.
"Oi, Sai! You home?"
It was Naruto's voice.
Sai's expression brightened for the first time in days. He hurried to the door, his pale face uncharacteristically showing joy. Staying indoors and painting had left him feeling restless and lonely, and hearing his comrade's voice lifted that gloom.
He slid the door open.
"Naruto, why are you—" Sai froze. "Eh? Jiraiya-sama is here too!"
Sure enough, the tall figure of Jiraiya stepped out from behind Naruto, his arms crossed and a broad grin plastered on his face.
"Hahaha! Didn't expect me, did you?" Jiraiya boomed. "I came to check on your progress, Sai. Let's see what you've been working on!"
Sai stiffened slightly, then glanced at Naruto, embarrassed. Naruto gave him a sympathetic shrug. Jiraiya noticed immediately.
"Don't worry about Naruto," the old Sannin barked. "He's not an outsider. I've already explained the situation to him. Now—come on! Show me what you've got, oh great painter of Konoha!"
Without hesitation, Jiraiya strode inside, plucked one of Sai's paintings off the table, and studied it.
"Hmm… well, the shape is okay, but the butt doesn't stand out enough. Not very… perky!"
He grabbed another. "The face here—nah, the eyes don't have that charming glint. A heroine has to seduce the hero, not just stare blankly!"
Another. "This one's better, but the pose is wrong. The heroine and hero need to be close… but not too close. The tension, Sai! The testing, magnetic pull of love! You need to show that!"
Sai tilted his head, utterly lost.
"Jiraiya-sama," he said hesitantly, "I don't understand."
Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Tch. Sai, you've been memorizing my novels, haven't you?"
"Yes," Sai admitted seriously. "I really have."
He picked up the book next to him—Icha Icha Paradise—and held it out. "Jiraiya-sama, test me if you like. Read any passage, and I'll recite the next part to prove I studied."
Jiraiya narrowed his eyes suspiciously but flipped open the book anyway. He read a random passage aloud. Without missing a beat, Sai continued with the next line.
Flipping the page, Jiraiya read again. Sai recited the next section perfectly.
They repeated this several times until even Jiraiya had to admit defeat.
"…Well, I'll be damned. You really did memorize it all."
Naruto, standing nearby, chuckled. Sai was serious, but Naruto knew exactly what was wrong. Sai treated reading like mission training: memorize, recall, execute. Feelings? Subtext? Ambiguity? Those things didn't exist in his rigid understanding.
While Jiraiya groaned in exasperation, Naruto crouched to gather some of Sai's discarded drawings. To his surprise, the art was excellent. Sai's brushwork captured fine details—the tilt of the chin, the flow of hair, the soft slope of a back. The women he painted looked beautiful by any standard.
But still, Naruto could see what Jiraiya meant. Something was missing.
Jiraiya folded his arms and sighed. "Sai, knowing the words and feeling the words are two different things."
"I… don't understand."
The Sannin grumbled, then suddenly snapped his fingers. "Naruto! Use your Sexy Jutsu and show Sai what a real woman looks like!"
Naruto nearly fell over. "What?! No way, Pervy Sage!"
"Don't be stubborn," Jiraiya barked. "Think of it as… sacrificing yourself for art!"
Naruto groaned, rubbing the back of his head. "…Unbelievable. But fine. Just this once."
He clapped his hands together, forming the seal. "Sexy Jutsu!"
Poof!
Smoke cleared, revealing Naruto transformed into his infamous voluptuous blonde bombshell form. Every curve exaggerated, every feature designed to overwhelm.
Jiraiya's eyes widened with delight, nose twitching. "Oooh-ho-ho-ho! Magnificent! Naruto, you've outdone yourself—your Sexy Jutsu has improved again!"
Turning to Sai, he jabbed a finger toward the transformed Naruto. "Look closely, Sai! THIS is plumpness! Full curves—hips and chest, both standing out! Learn this well!"
Sai, expressionless as ever, leaned forward, examining Naruto with his artist's eye. "I see… The proportions differ significantly. Interesting." He nodded thoughtfully. "I think I understand."
"Good! Now draw it!" Jiraiya barked.
Sai immediately set brush to paper, glancing at Naruto's feminine form as reference. Naruto rolled his eyes but held the pose, muttering under his breath about "artistic sacrifice."
When Sai finished a rough outline, Jiraiya leaned in. "Yes, better! Keep going!"
Sai refined the lines, shaded the curves, then presented it.
"How's this, Jiraiya-sama?"
The old man rubbed his chin. "…Closer. Much closer. But it still lacks the spark. Naruto, strike a more seductive pose! Show him what temptation looks like!"
Naruto groaned, but transformed again—this time twirling his hair, pouting, and leaning forward. "Oh, Sai-kun~ I love you so much!"
Sai froze, brush halfway down the paper, his eyes wide at the sheer shift in expression.
"See that?" Jiraiya exclaimed, pointing at Naruto. "That ambiguous look! That playful tease between heroine and hero—that's what you need to capture!"
Sai blinked, stunned, then nodded vigorously. "I understand, Jiraiya-sama! I'll try again!"
He painted furiously, and this time, the heroine's expression on paper carried a faint spark of mischief. It wasn't perfect, but it was progress.
Jiraiya, however, still frowned. "…Almost. But you're still missing something crucial, Sai."
Sai paused, uneasy. "What is it, Jiraiya-sama? Am I… not good enough?"
Jiraiya softened his tone slightly. "No, Sai. You're progressing fast. But what you lack is… experience in love."
"Love…?" Sai tilted his head.
"Yes!" Jiraiya nodded firmly. "You can memorize every line of Icha Icha Paradise, but unless you've experienced love—the glances, the tension, the closeness—you'll never truly capture it. No wonder your heroines feel… empty. You've never fallen in love!"
Sai stared, genuinely baffled. "…What does romance have to do with painting?"
"Everything!" Jiraiya snapped. "Without real feelings, how can you draw feelings? Sai, you need to fall in love. Only then will your brush capture the essence of Icha Icha!"
Turning to Naruto, Jiraiya asked bluntly, "Naruto, does Sai get married in the future?"
Naruto blinked, scratching his cheek awkwardly. "Uh… yeah. He does. Actually, he marries someone from our own village."
Jiraiya's eyes lit up, while Sai nearly dropped his brush in shock.
"W-Wait… me? I get married? To who?!"
Naruto only smirked, refusing to answer.
The question burned in Sai's chest, rattling the walls of his carefully constructed composure.
Who… in Konoha will become my wife?
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