"Ah... AHHH!" she screamed with all the strength in her lungs, feeling excruciating pain on the side of her head. She held her head with one hand, then pulled it back, revealing that it was covered in blood. The pain began to slowly subside.
She looked at her other hand. She was holding a revolver. "What is this...?" she said sloppily, "I like this model..."
She began to walk aimlessly. Her step was uneven, trembling. She almost fell, her mind so clouded that she couldn't think clearly. She had no idea where she was, or even who she was.
She stopped abruptly, admiring the scenery. The wind ruffled her blonde hair, which didn't sway much due to it being short. Her mind was still outside her head. The green grass beneath her feet brushed gently against her pants, as if caressing her body.
She felt chills and kicked the grass desperately. "Stop it! I didn't give my consent!"
She stared at the ground for a while, realizing it was just grass. She put her hand to her forehead, feeling dizzy. She looked ahead again; in the distance, she could see a dark castle. The landscape consisted only of grassy hills, besides the castle. She resumed her walk.
The wind was cold and brushed against the part of her body not covered by her unbuttoned shirt. She buttoned it lazily.
Marilyn...
She seemed not to care about her own situation. She walked only towards the distant castle, which seemed never to get closer.
The wind became stronger, and dark clouds began to gather above her. She quickened her pace. It began to rain. Her clothes and hair got wet, making her uncomfortable. She ran faster, more desperately.
She began to think more clearly, feeling the effects of the hangover. What am I doing here? What is this place?
The castle seemed to recede further with each step she took, as if it were fleeing from her. She stopped, exhausted. Why does this have to happen to me...? I don't deserve this nightmare...
She looked up, raindrops hitting her eyes and forcing her to close them. Why do I never have control over anything...?
She ran again, still looking up. She opened her eyes, though the water made it difficult to keep them open. "Why can't I choose anything?!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, the water rushing into her mouth and leaving a sour taste.
"Why am I not free?! Why can't I decide for myself? Better yet, why can't I choose everything?! I deserve it, after everything I've been through!"
She was panting, exhausted after screaming with all her might. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. The rain gradually lessened. She took a deep breath until she opened her eyes and saw the sun shining.
"Peace... finally..." she whispered, relieved. She gave a slight smile, as if she knew that blessing wouldn't last long.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something growing in the sky. She looked towards the horizon: darkness was settling in, devouring the landscape and drawing closer to her.
She ran as fast as she could toward the dark castle. Even though she was tired, she kept running, as if her life depended on it. Better yet, as if something far more valuable was at stake: her freedom.
I can't let this keep happening to me! Leave me alone!
After what seemed like ages, her legs began to give way when he finally reached the castle. There was no gate: it was open like a public space. She walked in and hid behind a pillar, sliding down until she landed in a seated position, trying to compose herself. She held the gun close to her body, as if it were the only way to get back home.
Home...?
She stood up slowly and peeked behind the column.
I don't want to go back home...
She pointed the revolver into the approaching darkness.
Modeling...? Selling my own body...? What's the point of being idolized if I can't choose anything for myself?
A sinister smile began to form on her face. Not a smile of happiness or joy, but of despair.
"Maybe... this place isn't so bad, after all..."
She fired her weapon. Not at the darkness, but at the light.
She woke up slowly, dizzy. It was a dark room, with only a light above her head. Looking down, her face was not visible. She was sprawled in the wooden chair and wearing only a dirty piece of cloth.
In front of her was a wooden table with a revolver, a bullet, and a bottle of vodka.
"What's this...?" she murmured, surprised but not impressed. She grabbed the bottle and stared at the label. "This is my favorite..."
A convenience store. She was shopping.
The sound of the door opening could be heard, but there was no one in sight. In one hand, she carried a shopping basket, as any normal person would. Her eyes shone with hope.
In her other hand, she held a bottle of vodka, the same brand she liked. She smiled. She ran to the cashier and swiped her credit card, eager to visit her new home.
The credit card was declined, with the claim that the limit had been exceeded. Her smile slowly faded.
"Do you have any idea how much we spend on you?" said a male voice, sitting on the other side of the wooden table. He was wearing a suit, but his face was not visible due to the darkness of the room.
"Huh...?" she muttered, confused.
"You're in no position to make any requests, Marilyn. As soon as you signed the contract, you agreed to our terms and conditions."
I didn't agree with any of it...
"You did. We can show you proof."
I had no choice...
"That's unfortunate, but it's not our fault. Blame the system, not us, because there's nothing we can do about it."
"It was your fault I couldn't afford basic groceries! And there are lots of things you can do to change it!"
"It was not. Stop running from reality."
"I'm not running from reality... I know exactly what I'm dealing with..."
"Then why are you complaining? Millions are starving and you're not satisfied. If you work hard, you will be rewarded. That's how the world works, it's that simple."
A ballroom. She was seated at a table. She was wearing a red dress and heavy makeup.
Stop staring at me...
Even though there was no one else in the room besides her, she felt uneasy, as if she were being watched.
I didn't agree with any of it...
A theater. She was on stage, performing something, or at least it seemed so. She was there, posing for the dozens of cameras that were in the seats. Her body moved on its own, against her will.
Stop it... This isn't right...
"Marilyn... Marilyn!" said a faceless man sitting across the luxurious table.
"I'm sorry..." she said, putting her hands to her head, worried. "What was your name again?"
"Ah, it's ____!"
What was I even doing here again...?
"Marilyn? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just need some... you know what? I'm fine."
"I'm glad to hear that! As I was saying..."
She slowly closed her eyes, oblivious to what he was saying. Then, she suddenly felt someone touch her arm.
"I said stop!" she yelled as she stood up quickly and slammed her palm against her wine glass, causing it to fall to the floor and shatter into a thousand pieces.
The wine spilled over her head, painting her face blood-red. She seemed not to care, as she remained sprawled in the wooden chair.
"So? Do you regret your choices?" asked the interrogator in the suit.
"..." She remained silent, showing no reaction.
"Answer me, Marilyn!" He slammed his fist on the feeble wooden table, breaking it. "Do you want this job or not?!"
I have the right to remain silent...
"You were supposed to be an idol, someone that people look up to! You can't show any weakness unless asked! Anger, sorrow, indignation... they don't suit your position! You should know better than to defy the system!"
I was not defying the system... I was just being myself...
Dominoes were crashing into each other, a million pieces knocking down the next.
"Stop thinking about what you can't change!" He pointed his finger at her aggressively. "We should always work from what we have, not from what we could have. The system is there for us to take advantage of; that's called adaptability, the most desirable trait a professional can have!"
You said that if I worked hard...
"You would be rewarded! Where was I wrong? You're not working hard enough!"
"Tell that to the millions who are starving."
"For some to prosper, others must suffer! It's natural selection!"
"So you admit it, huh? Well... if your system depends on violating human rights to function, then... maybe it shouldn't exist in the first place."
"Who do you think you are? You're taking advantage of the system. You're part of it."
"I know... but I'm tired. I can't stand it anymore."
"Do you think you can change it? You're just a cog in a machine that accumulates rust until it stops working."
"If that's the case... then I give up."
"You... give up? You don't have the power to decide that. Remember our contract? It says that—"
"I don't care. Goodbye." She stood up and left.
"That's it, you're fired! Good thing you'll never be able to get a job in this field again when you're old and starving to death on your own!"
It was a dark castle. The darkness that enveloped the landscape had vanished. She could now think clearly. The blood on the side of her head had also disappeared. She left the castle and walked across the green grass. She took something from her pocket: a bullet.
She opened the revolver's cylinder: it was empty. She loaded the bullet. It was a one in six chance.
"If I can't decide my own fate... I'll let fate decide it for me."
She closed the cylinder slowly, savoring the gentle breeze. She spun the cylinder repeatedly until she felt hypnotized.
"I like this model," she said as she aimed it and pulled the trigger.