"Forty years. A mere forty years I had lived, and scarcely a life at that. I regret not having accomplished more."
Resting on my bed in my apartment room, lights off, the smell of the summer heat by the open window, so my corpse won't stank up the room when my roommates gets back from their summer vacation, sorry James and Ryan, by the time you two get back, my rotting corpse is the first thing you two will smell.
I know I just only met you two, it sucks, I was hoping I can finally make some friends with you guys, but alas, life has other plans for me.
I look into my thoughts about my life, my accomplishments I've made, disappointments and missed opportunities.
What have I accomplished? A minimum wage job at Tim Hortons as a cashier, I held that job for about 3 years, I didn't even bother calling them and saying hey I have stage four cancer blah blah blah, so I'm just gonna not call them then, winning five hundred dollars on a scratch ticket, that was cool, oh and that one time that girl at the Seven Eleven called me cute behind my back, I've made so many scenarios in my head that day of what I can do to approach her, I think on that moment again and again, a bad habit.
As I closed my eyes and thought about my life's regrets, regrets for not visiting my grandfather one last time because I don't want to miss my job interview that I did not get. My grandfather, who I loved so much, died when I was 13, he taught me how to shoot with a rifle, horseback riding, feeding the animals and the endless times me and Pierre ran around his acreage, me and Pierre even found kittens in a bush, grandpa let us keep one, his name was Mr. Bush.
Marie, the woman I loved since high school, her sparkling blue eyes, her long silky golden hair flowing across the air, when I was at my lowest in high school, Marie made small talk with me, I think she felt bad for me, always alone I was, I was so shy that I only just nodded in response, what a fool I'm, I had my chance right there, after high school she added me on Facebook I was ecstatic beyond belief, if only I just chat with her, that is all you just need to do, five years later, she got married, and I never felt so gut punched like never before.
I slowly opened my eyes, they were getting heavier by the day. I slightly moved my head to my left and saw a family photo, Mom, Dad, and my Brother and I. I must have been about ten years old when that picture was taken. After the picture was taken we had ice cream, I got chocolate of course, Pierre got the pink ice cream, I forgot the name of it.
Mom who always tuck me in bed and read me bedtimes stories, I still remember the taste of her famous homemade cookies, the local kids on the block always wanted some, you are the best Mom, and Dad a car mechanic by trade, always fixing or tweaking his cars, showing me how cars work and talking to the neighbors, and my brother Pierre, the best brother ever, always has my back in school when I was bullied, we always played the latest video games, from Halo to Call of Duty, till he got a girlfriend and then married with a kid, I'm sorry Patrick, I guess you will never meet your uncle.
In my right hand is a cherish toy knight I got for Christmas. It has many chips and bite marks from Mr. Bush, I was so happy when I got that. I always brought it along with me at all times, school, summer vacations, even at movie theaters with the family, thanks bro, for the gift.
I felt my body getting colder, starting from my feet and then my fingers, my heart beating slower, breathing slower, my time is coming, I might as well say my last words.
"You win cancer, you unbeatable champ, unexpected stage four, I didn't have time to say goodbye to my family, guess that's what happens when you don't pay your phone bills" I closed my eyes one last time. Oh well, they will eventually find out.
As I process my last thoughts, Mom, Dad, Pierre, I'm sorry that you have to find me like this, a rotting corpse on a bed, a man who accomplished nothing more than a dead end job, I'm sorry, I love you all.
The feeling, sound, even my thoughts went quiet, so quiet