Chapter 149: Indecisive
King's Landing
POV of Tyrion Lannister
The smell of the shit, piss, and rotten fish wafted to his nose, and Tyrion knew that he had arrived at King's Landing even if his eyes were closed.
It was the worst-smelling place in the seven kingdoms after all.
If the king had devoted some of his resources to improving and cleaning the city instead of holding a quarterly tournament, this place could truly be worthy of the nickname King's Landing.
But the king cared little for the city or its smallfolk.
It was ironic that the city's current state, even considering its name, perfectly captured the realm's situation.
King's Landing, a city covered in shit. It was as if he were saying, "The realm is knee-deep in shit."
Coming back to this filthy city, Tyrion understood better why Lord Bolton cared so much about the cleanliness of his city and his smallfolk. Or his peasants, as Lord Bolton says.
When comparing the two cities, Lundenhold, despite being a relatively new city and lacking many features, bore a greater resemblance to a royal city than King's Landing.
In the port, he could see the smallfolk stop their work to stare at the Titanic. He had a similar reaction when he saw it for the first time.
Even the largest ship in the Royal Fleet looked positively dwarfed in front of the Titanic.
Their gaping faces and dropped jaws were expected.
But currently, he paid little attention to them as he was far too lost in his own thoughts. It had been a common theme with him ever since Lord Bolton revealed the truth about Tysha to him.
A truth that he realized he had always known deep down in his heart, but was too scared and too weak to face it.
Now he just needed to meet his 'dear' brother and… and what? He didn't know. He frankly felt that he knew nothing anymore.
Would he really discard his Lannister name and go live with his wife? His wife, who probably both feared and hated him by now.
Despite all the hard choices he had faced in his entire life, this one was somehow harder than all the rest.
"We're here, my lord." One of the sailors said, and he noticed that the boat he was standing on was now docked at the port.
He opened his mouth to say 'thank you' but found that his mouth was too dry to do such a thing. How long had it been since he had last spoken? How long had it been since he had something to drink?
He wondered if people would call him Tyrion the 'Dwarf and the Mute' from now on.
In the end, he just gave a nod to the sailor along with a gold coin, and the sailor's face lit up in happiness.
He didn't pay attention to it. He didn't pay attention to anything as the two Lannister guards he had been assigned by his father, as well as the four Bolton guards assigned by Lord Bolton for his safety, followed behind him.
All he wanted to do now was go to the Red Keep, talk with his brother, and find out the truth.
A truth that he already knew.
Could he really confront the one person whom he had loved the most in the whole family, the one person who had always protected him from his cruel father and shielded him from their cruel sister since he was a small child?
Could he really do this and then go on to hate his brother just as much as he hated his father and sister?
His feet halted in their place, and indecision filled him.
He stood at the center of the cobbled path, looking at nothing in particular and reliving all the good memories he had with his brother.
But no matter what he did, the memories of his wife being raped would always taint his good memories of his brother.
How his brother had stood there and told him with a mischievous smile that all of that was for fun and that Tysha was just a whore that he had hired to make a man out of him.
The image of Tysha looking at him pleadingly as she was taken by the first men filled his mind. How the hope had left her eyes as he did nothing and just stood there.
Fresh tears started to roll down his cheeks, and he was mystified by how he still had any tears left in him after all the crying he had been doing this past month.
'Would talking with Jamie even matter if you already know everything?' an insidious voice said in his mind.
'Just be the coward you've always been and go to the whores instead. At least they would pretend to love you.'
For a moment, he almost listened to the voice. Confronting his brother was too hard for him at the moment. He couldn't do it.
But then the image of Tysha came to his mind. How she had said that she loved him after the first time they slept together… And how radiant she had looked when he married her…
With a start, he realized that he couldn't take another step toward any of the dozen expensive brothels in the city that he knew about.
Great! Now he remembers all the oaths he had taken on the day he married Tysha, after he had broken them a thousand times already.
Why was he only remembering all of this now? Why couldn't he have remembered it when Tysha was raped at his father's orders? Why did his brother lie to him? Why did he believe his brother's false words? Why didn't he protect Tysha with his life? Why? Why? Why?
He clenched his fists and wiped his eyes.
Why was he always so weak? Why did he have to kill his mother when he came out in this world? Why was he born a dwarf? Why was…
He was brought out of his thoughts as he heard the sound of footsteps coming toward him and looked up to notice that a well-dressed and well-armed man was standing a few feet from him.
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Next Chapters' Name:
Ch.150: A Helpful Mission
Ch.151: Confronting Jamie