Empty..
I stared at the ceiling with blank eyes, devoid of any light, my black pupils searching for something that isn't there:
A Reason.
A Motivation.
Intent.
After learning that I could no longer show genuine kindness, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.
I felt hollow.
As if my goals and aspirations never mattered,
As if I'm just an actor forced to wear a mask.
But I knew all too well, and I know you know too, D̷e̷a̴r̵ ̸r̴e̵a̸d̶e̶r̸ That I chose this upon myself.
I watched as the light from outside the window became artificial.
On my chest, IXX was sleeping soundly.
Her arms embraced my torso whilst her cat tail embraced my legs.
Sometimes, I envy this creature.
She claims to be 『The Most High』, the being before light, and yet here she is sleeping next to me.
Without a care in the world.
I wish I was like that.
But perhaps I cared too deeply, that I threw away my own feelings for my own selfish desires.
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, before opening them once more.
Unbeknownst to me, for a minute, my pupils flickered, turning into white-diamond shapes. Before returning to normal.
「But...it's fine,」
I thought to myself.
I was putting up an act all my life anyways. Perhaps I was never genuinely kind. I'm just delusional, and this is just reality slapping my face.
A small smile formed on my lips as the black void in my eyes swirled with glee.
「Fine, if the world seeks the empress to be a mere jester, then so be it! I'll be the best jester this world will see.」
My smile grew wider as I finally gained my new reason, my new motivation.
Cleansing stagnation is still the main agenda.
Becoming the black lamb is still the main agenda.
So wouldn't it be fine if I also became the best Evil Magical Girl in the universe?
After all, I'm the first one in history to become one.
All I need is to continue learning under Rio.
My smile grew brighter as I gently caressed IXX's long white hair.
But even though my smile was bright, my eyes showed nothing but a lifeless husk.
[First Seal Broken: Void]
A shiver went up IXX's spine as she woke, her yellow eyes immediately staring at Shizuka who was staring at the ceiling.
Something was wrong. She meant to comfort her master, yet her consciousness alerted her of the first seal.
[First Seal: Void]
This is the first seal every youma has gone through.
Only by losing one's identity, one's self, would you truly call yourself darkness.
After all, darkness needs no form; it just is and will be.
However, one would ask: if every youma has undergone this seal, why is IXX utterly terrified?
Well, there are two main reasons.
To successfully break the first seal, instead of feeling lifeless, youmas often feel joy, not nihilism.
They call this Darkness.
However, if a youma has truly lost itself to the point it no longer cares about anything as a result—
That's void.
Right now, Shizuka is heading towards the latter.
『Master, are you okayy~?』
IXX snuggled up to Shizuka, hoping she would respond. And surprisingly, Shizuka looked at IXX with a sweet smile.
"I'm fine, IXX."
Lies. Shizuka's pupils showed no light at all.