There were many people walking around in thin white clothes that looked like they were made of paper. Some behaved normally as the chatted with normally dressed people, while others looked like they were deep in thought as they were escorted by large men in matching scrubs who watched them vigilantly.
When I asked my father where we were. He didn't answer as he got out the car came to my door. He opened the door and grabbed my wrist in a painfully tight grip, but I didn't complain. I didn't want to disappoint him anymore then I already had. As we walked in many people stared at us and watched me with pity but I didn't understand why.
When got the front desk the receptionist, a blonde woman with striking pale green eyes, glances at me obviously still dazed and looks disapprovingly at my father before regaining a professional smile, "How may I help you?"
My father jerked me forward as making my wirst twist painfully as I grit my teeth. He tells the receptionist, "This thing is too sick for me to handle so I have brought her here to the professionals."
The receptionist barely stops herself from swearing at my father as she keeps a very forced smile on her lips, "Sir this facility is for those who pose a danger to the people around them with violent outbursts. The people here usually need lifelong care and are not expected to reenter society. I can recommend multiple juvenile facilities and programs that may be better equiped to assist you with at home care....."
My father didn't let her finish as he hands her a folder impatiently and says, "Then this place is perfect, here is her file and a note from her psychologist."
I look at my father confused. I never went to a psychologist so why do I have a folder? Mother doed while I was a little girl but I was still old enouvh to know I didnt see any psychologist.
"Her mother was animal that killed for sport and money. A sociopath incapable of feeling and this thing is just like her. Take her before she kills someone herself."
The reception takes one look at my confused expression and knows whatever was in folder was likely forged but without proof what could she say. This wasn't the first time she had seen parents bring in a child they wanted out of their sight and locked them away, but usually its at other more comfortable facilities. This is the first time she has seen a parent go this far, to lock their kid up in a place like this. A place filled with patients known for their many violent and extremely dangerous episodes. There is a really chance that those violent episodes wnd up hurting other doctors, nurse, even other patients at times.
"This poor child. If anyone is an animal its this trash that dares call himself a father." The receptionist thinks to herself as she processes the information in the file and calls a Doctor down to receive me after telling them her suspicions of the possiblibly forged paperwork.
Not long after, a young docter comes down, he was a little sloppy likely having just come from assisting with a patient after an episode but his deep dark blue eyes and black hair still really makes him stand out. He wasnt super handsome, maybe average at best but his eyes shined with so much gentle, soothing kindness that without meaning to tears started to form in my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. Crying was bad, Dad said so. I'm not allowed to cry.
As he nears us he kneels down infront of me, "Hello, there. Aren't you adorable, my name is Dr. Kindlin. What's your name?"
"It's name is in the file?" The docter frowns when he hears my father speak. Dr Kindlin catches how my father seems to dehumanize me in his speech as he calls me an It, instead of she or by my name. Dr Kindlin gives him a brief side eye before ignoring him as he waits for me to answer with a patient and gentle expression.
"Raven." I whisper without thinking as my father glares at me. Raven was the name my mother gave me, Father doesn't allow me to use it. At school they call me Cadmean, my father had my name changed not long after Mom died. He named me after one of Echidna's, Greek goddess of Monsters, children, the Cadmean Vixen. He said I should never forget that I came from a Monster, but I love the name Mom gave me.
She use to say that Ravens are a gift upon the earth meant to cleanse the world so the living can live healthy fulfilling lives. Dad doesn't agreed and after Mom passed away he threw out everything that belonged the her, even my name.
"That's a beautiful name, Raven. It's wonderful to meet you. Why don't we go in that room right over there have a talk while Dad waits out here. That sound ok?" Dr Kindlin gestures to a private brightly decorated office off to the side.
I was about to agreed when an old man I recongonize interrupts him "That won't be nessary. Complete her admission and assign her a room." The older doctor turns to my father, "It's been hard on you but rest assured we'll take it from here." This was the man that did my mother's psychological evaluation for the police. I look at my Father confused since I had never spoken to him. I had only seen the man once back before my mother died and we didnt speak to each other.
"Hard on him? But what did I do wrong and since when has Dad been speaking to him? I got straight A's, always came straight home after school, never complained, and always obediently listened to every word he said. What did I miss? I don't understand" I think to myself as my thoughts swirl. "Is whatever I missed the reason I'm here." I keep looking back and forth from my father to the old Doctor trying to see what I am missing.
My father nods with a sigh as if he had been having a hard time,"Yes, it has. It's time she came here as we discussed years ago."
I felt my world crumble around me at his words. My ears were ringing and my mind struggled to process what he said. My heart beat speeds up and my breathing becomes shallow as a thought crosses my mind. "Was everything I did for you worthless in your eyes. Every sleepless night I studies through so I could bring you an A, every friend I lost because I couldn't go to their birthday party so I could make sure to be home so you wouldn't worry, everytime I sat there while you drank and made sure you went to bed and gave you medicine in the morning, everytime you told me to clean the already spotless house when I was working on my homework without complaint, all of my efforts all these years. Was it all worthless to you?"
Black spots began to cloud my vision as I look at my father with tears running down my face. My words tremble and my voice cracks as I ask. "Did you ever love me? Were all my efforts to not worry you, to make you proud of me, worthless to you?" I didn't mean to say it out loud but it just slipped out as I stare at my Father's cold jade eyes that matched mine.
His eyes are frigidly cold as if he were looking at something worthless rather then his own daughter. "What efforts? You are nothing but a worry to me. You're just like your mother." I don't remember what happened after that. Next time I woke up I was strapped to a bed.