I am Racist.


…

I mean, my name is Racis T. I swear. Please don’t cancel me before chapter 1.

Anyway, I was a stand-up comedian.

Not the good kind who gets Netflix specials.

The kind who gets hit with beer bottles and told to “Meet me backstage. You’ll get one more mic.”

One night, I was performing in a bar so shady, even cockroaches walked in with bodyguards.

It was full of tattooed bikers who drink engine oil, smoke burnt rubber, lick silencers, cry over their exes, and still believe their fists are a valid debate technique.

And there I was—trying to make them laugh using yo mamma jokes and dark humor so black it should’ve come with a flashlight and some cotton.

They didn’t laugh.

I kept going.

One of them pulled out a gun.

I cracked a joke.

He cracked my skull.

Bullet. Brain. Curtains. Boom.

But here’s the funny part:

I always wanted to be a successful comedian. Maybe get a standing ovation. But what I got was Uncontrollable Blood Ovulation.

Still, I had dreams, man. Big dreams.

Make people laugh. Marry someone who doesn't need two chairs to sit. Eat three meals a day, Own a yacht (the humble kind with a helipad)

I wasn’t greedy. I would have donated 0.01% of my wealth to charity. I only wanted 99% of everything.

But fate, karma, God, or probably the trends of Webnovel had other plans.

Because instead of resting in peace…

I woke up in another world.

A fantasy world full of monsters, heroes, magic, kingdoms, war…

And zero comedy clubs.

Just my luck.

So now I’ve got a second life, a rude system, and maybe a power or two.

But being a Hero is secondary.

First, I am gonna roast dragons, clown on kings, incest—invest, I mean invest and make the whole world laugh until they cry—or kill me again.

Either way…

Welcome to the story of the most dangerous thing in every world—

A man who won’t shut up.
——— ——— ———
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So I lowered my voice, channeled my inner virgin slut and said:


He was twitching before but after that, he stopped twitching as well.


"Pal," He spoke, his face flat. "Are you trying to make me hard or steal my will to never get hard again."


"I am trying, alright. I am not a professional dirty talker. I said the first dirty thing that came to my mind."


"Say something else. Say something you want your girl to say to you in the bedroom. Imagine it."


"Something that I would want to hear from my girl… I see. Alright. I got it. Get ready."


I cracked my fist like I was going to end world hunger and said:


"Oh Racis~ Your dick is better than your dad's!"


Jack and Johnson both blurted a curse as if I said something forbidden. Like I called a fat woman sexy. They stared at me with the eyes that said, Did I hear that right?


Chapter 166 - Boner 101: Taught by a Comedian, Proven by a Ghost