Buckle up chat, this is either gonna be deep for you, or a "I'm 14 and this is deep," type of thing. Up to you
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I'm a fraudulent author. I ain't gonna sugarcoat it, i'd like to think I'm following the footsteps of my GOAT BurgerNoTomatoes, but the difference is; He's a GOAT and i'm as fraudulent as Yuta as is Naoya is a tickle monster.
I was browsing my Webnovel library earlier and I may or may not have felt a bit sad.
So many fanfics, from back when I was started 5 years ago to now. I saw where I started to where I am now. I've seen my whole fucking existence, Goated fanfics to fanfics that are only good if you're only starting.
And what I'm trying is... I miss it chat. I miss when I was 13 years old and then I first saw that danmachi fanfic where the MC had Shirou Emiya's powers. I miss when I was practically FIENDING for OP MC's harems, Dimensional Chat Groups and fucking systems.
I've seen fanfics that I once loved and cherished. Dropped, deleted, abandoned.
The recent thing about Bleap reinforced it even more. In a few short moments, when Fate/World ends he says he's gonna quit or smth idk he's a bum(Goat).
It might just be my nostalgia speaking, but I really do want to go back to those simpler times.
The authors I once loved, are not who they once were. They are not the super heroes of 13 years old me that I saw them as.
Some of them have disappeared without a word, like the fucking Avatar once did.
Leaving only the stories I once followed to be their last ember. Their last remembrance that they were also once goated. Simply vestiges of the past.
And when I saw those dropped stories, I started thinking. So this is what readers feel—what you guys feel.
I started remembering what I abandoned, my stories, my pride and joy, my readers. You, chat.
So what I'm just trying to say is...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being such a fraud.
I'm sorry for not being able to meet all of your expectations.
And I'm sorry... For having limits.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I have a life outside of fanfics and webnovels. I can't keep pouring my life into being the person you guys want, the person I want.
And those are my limits that I detest so much. As much as I want to just write my life away and just play games alongside it. Life doesn't just allow it.
We've all grown up now chat. We're not the same as we were back then.
Time, really does not wait for any of us. And I hate that it doesn't, but what can I do? I am simply mortal. And as average as one can be.
Haaaahhhh, But anyway chat that's all I really need to say.
Is this a sign of me finally returning to writing? Maybe, I'm not sure.
But I'll try.