〜Type-Moon World, ██████ Worldline, Chaldea〜
"It seems the journey through the Grand Temple of Time has ended… but…"
Da Vinci said, her gaze turning complicated as she looked at Dr. Roman.
"Next, we have to consider how to defeat Goetia while avoiding casualties!"
"Eh…"
Mash blinked slightly, pointing at the screen in a somewhat bewildered manner.
"Didn't Goetia come to an understanding at the very end? Why do we still have to fight?"
She didn't care about her own death, but she didn't want the Doctor, who had never experienced freedom, to die just like that. Nor did she want Fou to lose all its sentience.
Da Vinci sighed softly.
"Mash, the future we are seeing now… it might just be one of the futures Goetia has seen."
If possible, she certainly wanted to avoid battle, too! After all, Romani's death seemed to be the sole prerequisite for defeating Goetia. Avoiding it would be the best outcome!
Goetia might just treat this as a fleeting dream, or perhaps handle it as a parallel world; it wouldn't necessarily change his current will.
Moreover, this is a plan Goetia has been preparing for over 3, 000 years. He wouldn't just give up after a few words just because a future ending appeared.
"Let's contact that mage with the terrible personality,"
Roman's eyes looked like they could spew fire, his teeth grinding audibly.
Since the video had ended, it was time to settle accounts!
Thinking of Merlin creating a smurf account to impersonate Magi★Mari made the Doctor's teeth itch with anger. He wished he could let Merlin know that he wasn't just Solomon, the King of Mages, but also the King of Boxing of Israel.
Although he had long suspected it might be related to Merlin, who idled away his days in Avalon, he didn't expect him to be this scummy—to actually do it personally!
"Fou~"
At the mention of Merlin, Fou got excited too. Anyone who hated Merlin was a friend of his.
Just as the people of Chaldea were thinking of ways to survive the Final Singularity, a new video appeared on the screen.
[ CARNIVAL PHANTASM: THE GREAT MAGE CLASH, HOLY GRAIL WAR!! ]
[ Before it even began, the solemn voice of the Mapo Tofu Priest rang out from the screen.
"The Holy Grail War is a slaughter conducted by magi to fight for the omnipotent wish-granter—the Holy Grail!"
As the scene began to change, a city engulfed in raging flames appeared. The figures of Artoria, Cú Chulainn, and others appeared in succession.
"Seven Servants and the Masters commanding them must kill each other until only one remains. At this moment… the fierce battle surrounding the Holy Grail begins again!" ]
[ .....]
『 Viewers of Countless World 』
"Fuyuki City is burning again…"
Hearing this familiar introduction and seeing the city engulfed in raging fire on the screen, people from other worlds felt a bit speechless.
They still didn't know who the six unlucky bastards were that participated in the same Holy Grail War as Solomon, yet here was Fuyuki City, burning again…
It had to be said, Fuyuki City was truly disaster-prone! Remembering that the start of the last video was like this, too… if it really can't be helped, maybe just stop trying to put out the fire. It clearly can't be extinguished.
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fourth Holy Grail War Worldline
"…"
Listening to that incredibly familiar introduction and seeing the burning city they knew all too well, the residents of Fuyuki City were instantly struck dumb, as if hit by a bolt from the blue.
Among them, an ordinary citizen who had grown up in Fuyuki City had eyes filled with confusion and bewilderment.
"No, can't you guys fight this Holy Grail War somewhere else? Does it have to be Fuyuki City…"
Wasn't it said that the Holy Grail War was conducted in secret? You god-like big shots burn down Fuyuki City every single time—what kind of secret is this!?
It seems Fuyuki City is destined to burn; it has already become a tradition for every one of your wars!
On the other side, watching Cú Chulainn and the others appear on the screen, Gilgamesh let out an unhappy snort.
"Tch… It's the next one again."
Iskandar scratched his head, also somewhat troubled.
"But hasn't the next one already been shown twice? Is it a new parallel world again?"
This 5th Holy Grail War… isn't there a few too many parallel worlds?
〜Type-Moon World, Kaleid liner Prisma Illya Wordline〜
Listening to the introduction on the screen, Magical Ruby said in surprise,
"The Great Mage Clash… looks like the fighting is intense this time!"
Meanwhile, the Emiya family, including Miyu, looked at each other in dismay. The Holy Grail? Doesn't the Emiya household have plenty of those? Do they still need to fight for one?
Miyu, who was suspected to be a human personification of the Holy Grail, rolled her eyes.
"Never mind that the Grail works only sometimes; it's highly likely to be a black cup."
Having seen quite a few videos, Miyu already understood that not all Holy Grails could grant wishes. It was also possible that it was just a broken cup filled with All the World's Evil.
Illya, however, looked at the screen eagerly, appearing somewhat expectant.
"Let's watch carefully first. This Holy Grail War seems to be even more cruel than the previous ones!"
.....
[ As the Mapo Tofu Priest's solemn voice faded, the scene changed.
On a stage, Illya, holding a microphone, suddenly spoke in a rather cute tone: "Due to unforeseen circumstances, the rules of the Holy Grail War have changed!"
As soon as these words came out, the solemn atmosphere from moments ago vanished without a trace.
Before anyone could react, they heard Illya on the stage continue her introduction in an incredibly cute voice.
"Hello everyone, I am your host, Illya. The 5th Holy Grail War has finally begun!"
"This time, we are broadcasting live for everyone from the Fuyuki City Civic Gymnasium… So, after 10 years, the Holy Grail has appeared again. Who the winner will be shall be revealed tonight!"
The scene shift.
The light screen erupted with blindingly colorful confetti and cheerful, absurdly upbeat carnival music. The camera panned across a roaring, completely chaotic audience... and then, it zoomed in on the front row.
There, a person is sitting completely relaxed, holding a massive bucket of popcorn in one hand and enthusiastically waving a neon glow stick in the other.
"Go, go! Do your best!" She cheered at the screen, her eyes sparkling with absolute, brain-empty joy. ]
[ .....]
『 Viewers of Countless World 』
"…"
Silence. A deathly silence.
Looking at what appeared to be a live broadcast, even the people from other worlds fell into a strange quiet, feeling that the situation was full of things to retort.
The Great Mage Clash? Slaughtering until the last one remains surrounding the Holy Grail War?? Does what was just said have anything to do with this harmonious scene before their eyes?
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Tsukihime Worldline〜
Altrouge Brunestud's eye twitched violently. The teacup in her hand tilted, spilling hot tea all over her lap, but she was too frozen in shock to notice.
"What… in the name of the Crimson Moon is that?"
She squeaked, her aristocratic dignity shattering instantly.
At her feet, the terrifying Beast of Gaia, Primate Murder, let out a confused 'Kuu?' and tilted its massive head.
"Don't look at me, Cath Palug! I don't know either!"
Altrouge snapped, dragging her hands down her face in sheer exasperation.
"I'm locked in a centuries-old blood feud with that?! Where is her overwhelming bloodlust?! Why is she waving a glowing stick like an idiot?!"
She slumped back into her obsidian throne, groaning in secondhand embarrassment.
"Cancel the next assassination attempt. I refuse to fight someone with negative dignity. She's embarrassing the Brunestud name!"
Meanwhile, the actual Arcueid Brunestud was staring at the screen with stars in her eyes.
"Whoa! That version of me looks like she's having so much fun!"
Arcueid gasped, pressing her hands against her cheeks.
She completely ignored the fact that she was supposed to be a terrifying, planet-class executioner. Instead, staring at the screen caused her stomach to let out a loud, un-princess-like rumble.
"A Holy Grail Game Show… I want to go!"
Arcueid grinned brightly, jumping up from her spot.
"And more importantly… What is that my other me is holding? It looks delicious..."
〜Type-Moon World, Tsukihime -A piece of blue glass moon- Worldline〜
"…"
Arcueid, the Vampire True Ancestor known as the 'Main Heroine with zero presence,' looked at herself sitting in the audience on the screen and fell into a rare silence.
In her thousands of years of life, she spent half her time gazing at the moon and the other half sleeping. The time she spent awake hunting Roa probably added up to less than a few decades.
Within this short accumulated time of less than a few decades, would she spend time watching such a program?
"Eh, I actually might…!"
After thinking blankly for a moment, Arcueid smiled innocently.
"It is indeed something I would do… after all, it's such an interesting thing."
〜Type-Moon World, Fourth Holy Grail War Worldline
Seeing his daughter appear, the cigarette dangling from Emiya Kiritsugu's mouth fell out. He said dazedly,
"A development I never imagined…"
It was very likely he hadn't woken up yet. To actually see such a bizarre Holy Grail War… no, it couldn't even be called a war. What did this have to do with war at all!?
Irisviel was so excited she started crying.
"I didn't expect Illya to be so successful when she grew up, she even became a host…!"
Watching Illya hosting on the screen, even the perpetually stoic Kotomine Kirei couldn't help but twitch the corner of his mouth.
Everyone knows the Holy Grail War is conducted in secret! How is there a live broadcast?? He really couldn't keep up with the times anymore.
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
"Impossible! Absolutely impossible!"
Tohsaka Rin slammed the table and stood up excitedly, her face written with disbelief.
You change the rules just like that?! Even if the Masters agreed, those Servants would absolutely never agree.
At this moment, even Red A from the future began to doubt his life… This isn't right! Did I come to the wrong world?!
The residents of Fuyuki City, however, wished they could cheer for this. They couldn't help but sigh,
"This is the way! This is the true way to open the Holy Grail War."
This is great! Fuyuki City doesn't have to burn, and we have a show to watch. It's the best of both worlds!
.....
[ "Who will seize the Holy Grail and grant their wish?" Illya, living up to her role as a seasoned host, didn't forget to throw out some suspense.
At this moment, the camera panned to the Servants sitting in the contestant seats. Hearing this, Cú Chulainn pointed at himself with a confident face: "Of course it's gonna be yours truly!"
Medea, draped in her black robe, was also quite confident: "We will absolutely not hand over the Holy Grail."
"Ooooh—" Berserker howled at the sky a few times. As if he had caught the cameraman, he shook him twice, causing the screen to topple over.
Tohsaka Rin also gave a death order to Red A beside her: "You absolutely have to win! Archer."
"Listen well. For the sake of the Holy Grail, no matter how dirty the means…"
Saying this, Tohsaka Rin noticed the camera behind her. She immediately pulled a face-change, smiling gently at the lens: "Yes, I will compete fairly!" ]
[ .....]
『 Viewers of Countless World 』
"CAMERAMAN—!!"
Seeing the Servants sitting obediently in the guest seats participating in the competition, the crowd from other worlds had black lines covering their faces. They really couldn't believe this was a Holy Grail War!
Fair competition… Listening to Tohsaka Rin's two-faced statement, everyone's mouth twitched slightly. Who would believe that!?
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
"Berserker is the strongest!"
Seeing Heracles appear, Illya waved her small fist, cheering him on.
Tohsaka Rin covered her face with her hand, sighing with mental exhaustion.
"Whether he's strong or not is another matter. I'm more curious about why we are obediently participating in a competition there!"
It's over. Her image as a refined lady is definitely gone!
Cú Chulainn and Medea, those Servants, were one thing, but why was Berserker also sitting obediently in the guest seat?!
She really couldn't believe that the version of herself in that world spent 10 years just to participate in a reality TV show…
.....
(Author-san: Read the comments, then went to watch Carnival Phantasm. Thought it was pretty funny, so I wrote it as a transition.)