[ "Idiot! Playing dead is just a superstition!" Hijikata watched Katsura's foolish behavior and cursed under his breath. "At a time like this, you have to stare into the bear's eyes and slowly distance yourself. If you turn your back, the bear will…"
PFFT—!
"Oh my, my… Hijikata-san, that won't do~" Sougo pulled out the blood-stained branch stuck in Hijikata's back. "You have to pay close attention to what's behind you. I meant to take out the bear, but I ended up stabbing you!"
Hijikata collapsed onto the snow right then and there, muttering painfully, "Cr-crap, there's another person I can't expose my back to…"
However, just at that moment, Sougo, who was secretly delighting in this, felt a sharp pain. He turned his head back, tremblingly.
"Hey, you'd better hurry up and play dead too!" Kagura held a similarly blood-stained branch, wearing a broken, twisted expression.
Sougo immediately flopped onto the ground in pain, filled with regret: "Ba-bastard…"
Only Shinpachi, who could barely be considered a normal person, was shouting retorts from the side: "Hey! What are you all doing? Is this really the time for infighting?" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Backstabbing can even be done in a nesting doll style? Is this some kind of food chain?"
"Look, Hijikata is still the reliable one. That's the textbook method for dealing with a bear encounter… Okay, pretend I didn't say anything."
Watching Hijikata get instantly backstabbed, the crowd, who had been secretly nodding in agreement with his method, suddenly froze. They had only heard that you shouldn't turn your back on a bear, but since when could you not turn your back on people, either!
Are you guys really not strangers? The bear hasn't done anything yet, but you guys have already taken out your own people!
.....
〜One Piece World〜
"Scars on the back are a swordsman's shame, isn't that right, Hijikata!"
Sanji, cigarette dangling from his mouth, looked teasingly towards a certain moss-head.
"I'll say it again, only the voices sound alike!"
( Translator-kun: Kazuya Nakai, both voice Hijikata and Zoro. )
Zoro instantly lost his cool, his face morphing into a shark-toothed grimace as he retorted,
"Say that again, and I'll cut you, you lecherous cook!"
Actually, Zoro found it strange too. How could there be two people in the world with voices so similar? If he closed his eyes and just listened to Hijikata's voice, he would think it was actually himself.
Meanwhile, the Cowardly Trio, Usopp, and the others, were huddled together whispering. Usopp said fearfully,
"Getting stranded on a snowy mountain is too scary…"
"I'm the one who should find it scary!"
Remembering his past tragic experiences, Chopper wanted to cry but had no tears:
"I'll definitely be treated as emergency food rations."
Once these words came out, Usopp and Nami fell silent, glancing at their sulking idiot captain:
"It's very possible…"
〜Detective Conan World〜
"It's appeared, as expected."
Conan put his hands in his pockets, a gleam of light flashing across his glasses. I know this scene!
No wonder he felt uncomfortable earlier, feeling like something was missing. It turned out that what was missing was a murder case. A blizzard plus getting stranded—great, all the conditions are met.
Haibara Ai was stunned:
"Will this really not result in a fatality? There's blood coming out."
Looking at the bloodstains on the branches, the stabs seemed quite deep. Have they become accustomed even to this?
"It should be fine… Didn't Hijikata chase a bottle of mayonnaise off a cliff before and come back running like nothing happened?"
Conan's worldview had long been reshaped; he was no longer surprised by this.
Not to mention there was Katsura, covered in thumbtacks, who dared to jump off a cliff just to play dead. He probably wouldn't have any issues either.
.....
[ At this moment, Otae, having suddenly noticed something, shouted anxiously: "Danger, Shin-chan! The bear is coming for you."
Seeing the giant bear running towards him, Shinpachi panicked instantly. He turned and stumbled away in a chaotic flee. One misstep caused him to tread on air at the cliff's edge, and he fell downwards.
However, at this critical juncture, a massive paw reached out and grabbed Shinpachi's hand. The bear spoke with some concern: "You're not hurt, are you?"
"Eh?" Hearing this familiar voice, the corner of Shinpachi's mouth twitched involuntarily.
After pulling Shinpachi up the cliff, the giant bear finally relaxed: "It looks like everyone is safe."
"Th… this voice… could it be…" Shinpachi lifted his head, staring blankly at the giant bear before him.
At this moment, the Shogun slowly removed his giant bear headgear and replied with a serious expression: "Seii Taishogun, Tokugawa Shi…"
"Shin-chan, are you okay!" Before he could finish speaking, he was kicked off the cliff by Otae with a flying kick.
Watching the Shogun plummet into the abyss, Shinpachi stood frozen in place, his mouth wide open. ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"A group of people went to save the Shogun, only to be saved by the Shogun, but… SHO—GUN!!"
Watching the Shogun get kicked off the cliff by Otae, even the crowd outside the video dropped their jaws in shock. Sister Otae, at least listen to the man finish his sentence before kicking!
.....
〜Gintama World〜
"SHO, SHO—GUN—KA—YOOOO!!"
Gintoki and Shinpachi's expressions changed instantly upon seeing this. Their eyeballs were bloodshot, faces darkened, and mouths agape.
Gintoki rested his hands on his knees, his face dark, teeth chattering as he asked himself again and again:
"Why, why were you specifically there? And why did you specifically pop out of a bear, Sho-chan?"
Shinpachi's eyes were now filled with tears:
"…Nee-san, we were fine originally, but now we might be in trouble."
Congratulations on winning the 'Execution of the Entire Family' package. Even the eggs in the house would probably be shaken apart, and the earthworms at the door cut in two.
Katsura let out a hearty laugh from the side:
"Ahahaha, come for a Joi interview tomorrow, Four-Eyes! I'll give you special permission, no written test required."
Faced with Katsura's invitation, Shinpachi didn't say a word and threw this airheaded electric-wave guy, who was making sarcastic remarks, straight from the second floor onto the street.
.....
[ The scene shifted to a dilapidated small hut. Kondo sat by the fire, somewhat emotional: "As expected of the Shogun, finding a hut by himself and taking refuge inside!"
"Actually, I was also saved while wandering in the heavy snow. Now I really don't know who the bodyguard is!"
Just then, Hijikata and Sougo walked in, supporting the unconscious Shogun. Kondo instantly stood up and leaned in close: "What on earth happened? Shogun, pull yourself together! And why are you guys injured like that, too!"
Hijikata, who hadn't thought of an excuse yet, stammered a bit: "Th… that, Kondo-san, this matter…"
Seeing him hem and haw, Gintoki spoke up to explain for him: "We were attacked by Bigfoot and the Chupacabra."
"Although we fought desperately…" Gintoki said, looking full of self-blame and seemingly very unreconciled: "Damn it, those cursed UMAs are unforgivable."
Kondo was obviously full of suspicion regarding this claim: "You said UMA?! How is that possible?"
But he couldn't withstand everyone around him chiming in agreement. Kagura added: "It's true-Aru, it was a UMA, right, Sho-chan!"
"Yes, Leader!" Katsura pinched his throat, trying to imitate the Shogun's voice.
And then Kondo believed it. He clenched his fist, looking resentful: "Damn it! Those UMA bastards!" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Hahaha, this unreliable bunch. The Shogun was actually the only one who found a place to keep warm."
"No… You actually believed those guys, Kondo-san! No wonder you can be the Chief. One dares to make it up, and the other dares to believe it."
Looking at the Shogun's miserable state, everyone couldn't bear to look straight at it. Is it really okay to persecute the Shogun like this? It feels like without you people, the Shogun could live a very good life on his own!
.....
〜KonoSuba: God's Blessing on This Wonderful World〜
Darkness couldn't hold back anymore:
"Even though those injuries were clearly from mutual slaughter…"
To be injured like that by their own people, can you believe it? It was all done by their own team. This blame-shifting is a bit too creative.
Kazuma expressed his inability to understand:
"These guys really dare to say anything, hey! Blaming it on UMAs? Even an idiot wouldn't believe that."
UMAs are unknown creatures; normal people wouldn't believe that. But why did you believe it, Kondo-san! You're the Chief!
Megumin suddenly tugged at Kazuma's sleeve, then asked aside:
"Aqua, do you believe their words?"
"Huh? Megumin, do you really take me for an idiot? Of course, I don't believe it."
Aqua put her hands on her hips, instantly unhappy.
Kazuma and Megumin breathed a sigh of relief. Luckily, she was just a bit dumb, not stupid; there was still hope… Just as they thought this, they heard Aqua continue.
"I saw it clearly just now; it was done by their own people."
.....
[ At this moment, Shigeshige slowly opened his eyes and let out a weak voice: "Where is this? Why am I here?"
Hearing this, Kondo immediately became worried: "It seems like memory impairment has occurred!"
"Shogun-sama, have you forgotten?" Amidst Kondo's horrified expression, Gintoki explained with a straight face: "You brought this group of idiots to this mountain to hunt UMAs."
"But, because we were tracking Bigfoot's footprints, we eventually got separated. Everyone here is stranded because of your reckless behavior."
Shigeshige's expression changed instantly. Supporting himself against the wall, he was filled with self-blame: "How could this be! Endangering the lives of the people for a boring pastime…"
"I have no right to stand above others." Saying this, Shigeshige pushed open the door and shouted to the sky: "Oh Heavens! If this blizzard is a punishment for me, I am willing to offer this tyrant's life. Please quell your anger!"
"Alright, Shogun!" Katsura pinched his throat to speak again, but was immediately kicked to the ground and stomped on by Gintoki and Kagura simultaneously. ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Hahaha, what did the Shogun do wrong to meet you bunch of unruly commoners! Just blatantly lying, and now non-existent memories have increased."
"This skill in shifting the blame shocked Kondo for a whole year. Be a human being, Gin-san, the Shogun is pitiful enough."
Watching the Shogun's display of self-blame, the crowd was rendered speechless for a moment. You actually believed it! You are a bit too kind, Shogun!
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
"Katsura… stop provoking the Shogun, he will really believe it!"
Watching Katsura get beaten up, Tohsaka Rin just wanted to say he deserved it.
This Shogun could be said to be a big shot with a big heart, truly thinking of the people. Assuming the group in front of him counts as 'people'…
Emiya Shirou watched Gintoki solemnly distorting the truth, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly:
"This ability to turn black into white… I beg you, please act like a human!"
One dares to lie, one dares to believe! Treat the Shogun a bit better! It's not easy to come out for a ski trip; hasn't he been persecuted enough by you guys on the way?
Archer frowned slightly:
"Is it possible that the Shogun didn't actually lose his memory, but just pretended not to remember anything so they wouldn't be punished?"
The more he thought about it, the more possible it seemed. After all, how could there be such a coincidence in the world, forgetting just that specific segment of memory? Maybe he had woken up long ago.
.....
( Translator-kun: This Arc really makes me laugh so hard ꉂ(≧▽≦) )