With a few sharp screams, everyone turned their attention to the source of the sound. The girl stood on the stage, looking at the boy standing on the cart, unsure of how to react, but a feeling of relief spread through her heart.
Under the gaze of the crowd, three boys with twitching faces stood against the wind on a cart that was moving downhill. They all stretched their arms out in a straight line, as if they were cosplaying Jesus with tears in their eyes.
"That's... Kohei?" Shinji Tokita asked, looking at his teammate at the front.
"You've got a knack for this." Juryujiro chuckled, amusement in his eyes.
"What are they doing...?"
Seeing this, Hamaoka Azusa stopped being emo and smiled, laughing heartily.
"Haha."
Nanaka Kotegawa was completely bewildered, so she could only smile along with Azusa Hamaoka. She looked at the three people who were being stopped by Shinji Tokita and were walking unsteadily towards her, their steps weak. Her eyes held a helpless and gentle expression.
Seriously, they're such a worry!
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Girls are made of sweet things.
『The lawn surrounding the outdoor stage』
How did you come up with this idea?
Shinji Tokita, holding the front handle of the cart, asked the three people with great surprise, "No normal person would stand on a cart and move by the natural movement of the cart itself plus the traction of the wind."
Although it sounds similar to skateboarding, there are actually quite a few differences. Just take the weight issue as an example. When not traveling at high speed, a skateboard can usually stop, but a pushcart, which is mostly made of iron, is likely to be propelled forward a distance by inertia when you try to stop it with your foot.
In good cases, the legs bend into an M shape; in bad cases, it's a split, and then it's over, physically speaking.
"It's all his fault!" x2
Hachiman and Kohei pointed at Iori together. Before setting off, he felt that this was absolutely impossible, but this guy patted his chest and swore that there would be no problem, so he believed him. As a result, good heavens, this guy had no idea how to control the direction or brake.
"Life is about running! Even if you fall, you must get back up strong!"
Iori smiled faintly, tilted his head back with a refreshed look, and swept his hair behind him. His eyes were filled with longing for a bright future, but he was blinded by the strong midday sun and let out a scream.
"My eyes, my eyes!"
"You really have absolutely no talent for being a philosopher! Go be a comedian! I'll buy you a red nose!"
Hachiman exclaimed, "This guy is hopeless! He'll definitely get cake smeared in his face at his own birthday party for being so obnoxious!"
"Bucky."
Gengping's words are concise yet profound, hitting the nail on the head.
"Ah, I quite like that character."
Hamaoka Azusa said that unlike most girls who prefer Zoro or Sanji, she prefers characters with comedic talent, and just seeing such characters appear makes her feel happy.
Her sudden words made the three of them stop in their tracks. Iori looked at the woman, who was as energetic as ever. He wanted to tentatively ask her if she was unhappy about what had just happened, but after thinking about it carefully, he felt that it was a pointless question.
"Comedy characters often bring an unexpected sense of surprise."
Hachiman spoke up, patted Iori on the shoulder, and with Iori looking completely bewildered, turned and walked over to Shinji Tokita and Ryujiro Kotobuki, finding an empty spot to sit down.
"Where is the match at? Has Chisa not appeared yet?"
Together with Kohei, they watched as the somewhat bewildered girl with braided hair walked off the stage. Her steps were hurried, as if a ferocious beast was chasing her.
Another introverted girl. This university seems to have a high rate of this type of woman.
"Hachiman, did you know?" Kohei said. "Girls who look plain on the surface but wear glasses can actually become incredibly charming characters after some grooming and styling."
"Where did you see this in anime or light novel?" Hachiman asked, glancing at him sideways.
"No." He shook his head. "I saw it in a fan comic."
"She's incredibly capable as a woman!"
As a normal male, he naturally had one or two good books in his collection, and soon understood what Kohei was talking about.
"Such a scenario usually only exists in our imagination," Iori said, emerging from her daze and walking to their side.
"That's true. Ah, the next contestant is coming up."
The three looked towards the stage, and their expressions became somewhat strange after the second contestant took the stage.
What is that?
Iori pointed to a woman on the stage with wings made of plastic film on her back, wearing heavy makeup, and holding a tennis racket. She could vaguely tell that she was a woman. She said with embarrassment.
"A player from the tennis club."
Hachiman was also puzzled. Wasn't this club only recruiting handsome men and beautiful women? What was with this heavily made-up guy?
"This is the first time it has exceeded my understanding."
Kohei said that even in the worst visual novels, game developers will try their best to make the female characters look good, but the person in front of him is a character who would never appear in a game.
"Oh, so he's a comedic character," Shinji Tokita remarked, observing the scene. "A tactic designed to disappoint the audience first, then create a contrast with the main character's appearance."
"Completely meaningless."
Hearing the insincere praise from the tennis club, the mockery in their tone almost reached him.
"What a bunch of bastards who only know how to use dirty tricks and don't care about other people's feelings at all."
Iori glanced at the girl with a bright smile on the stage and said disdainfully.
After the heavily made-up characters left the stage, their friend, Chisa Kotegawa, walked onto the stage wearing a light pink tulle dress. Her expression was very serious, and the muscles in her face were completely taut.
"He looks very nervous," Kohei commented.
"It's covered in thorns." Iori squinted, the intense stimulation like the blazing sunlight from before, making it almost impossible for him to open his eyes.
"Well, after all, I have to perform in front of so many people."
Hachiman could understand this feeling; he had experienced it many times, and each time it left him feeling terrible.
"But we might lose if we do that," Shinji Tokita said with a serious expression.
"What can we do?"
Looking at Chisa, who was answering the host's questions in a monotone manner, just like the girl with the braided hair, as if she were a machine with pre-recorded lines, Ryujiro suddenly felt something was wrong.
What do you think?
Iori looked at Hachiman and asked him if he had any ideas on how to solve the problem.
Why are you asking me?
Hachiman was puzzled. Did he seem like someone who would handle this kind of thing? He wasn't a psychologist, so how could he immediately comfort Chisa's emotions?
"Because you're the strategist, and most of your ideas are effective."
Iori pointed her thumb at Hamaoka Azusa, who was looking over with a big smile. At the same time, everyone saw Nanaka rapidly pressing the shutter button, her hand speed comparable to that of an e-sports player.
The group pretended not to have seen what was happening and turned back to discuss their plan.
"Women are made of sugar, spices and many delicious things. They are gorgeous enough on their own, but if you want to add the finishing touch, I think it should be a smile."
Hachiman extended his index finger to express his opinion. In his view, a girl who genuinely smiles exudes confidence, which makes her more attractive to the outside world.
Especially for girls who don't usually like to smile, the moment they show a smile they've never shown before is enough to melt even the coldest heart.
"Indeed, such scenes are common in visual novels."
Kohei agreed, saying he often felt a thrill when he reached such a progress point in the game.
"How can I make her smile?"
Iori covered his head with his hands. Since arriving here, he had rarely seen Chisa smile.
"To make someone laugh in a short time, you either need to see something funny, think of something funny, or it might be contagious," Hachiman said after thinking for a moment.
Shinji Tokita: "Something interesting? What is Chisa interested in?"
Iori: "It's the sea, she often reads magazines about marine animals."
Kohei: "This is difficult. How about you try playing the manta ray, Iori? I think you'd be perfect for it."
Iori: "I refuse! Why don't you cosplay the squirting turtle? I think you'd be perfect for it."
Hachiman: "Alright, if we keep arguing, the match will be over. Why don't you two dress up together?"
Iori & Kohei: "We'll drag you down with us even if we die!"
Kotobuki Ryujiro waved his hand, interrupting their debate: "Let's consider the last one. If it's contagious, as long as we laugh, she should laugh too. It'll be easier to do."
Hachiman: "I have a feeling this is a method that can't possibly succeed..."
Chapter 40: My Corpse Sinks into the Sea and Never Returns; The Real "Modern Life" Person Was Me (Part 2)
Humans are creatures that are extremely good at imitation. They can use their own psychological suggestion to imagine and simulate the actions of others. For example, if someone suddenly yawns, your brain will tell you that he is sleepy and at that moment apply a slight hypnotic effect to you, so that you will also be in that state and perform the same action as him.
This state is also known as herd mentality, which is extremely easy to occur in small groups. However, there is a prerequisite in this case: the person you want to infect must have a sluggish brain.
After deciding to convey Chisa's smile through their own smiles, the group put their plan into action. Iori and the two seniors placed their hands on their chins, their mouths turned up sharply, opening at an angle like crocodiles hunting their prey, resembling the ferocious smiles of an unintelligent ape.
Isn't that a bit too scary?
Hachiman sighed as he watched this scene. He looked up at Chisa's expression and, just as he had expected, she showed no sign of laughing. Instead, her veins bulged and her face darkened.
"The plan failed."
"Yes, it's completely counterproductive."
Hachiman and Kohei looked at the three panicked people in a call-and-response, only to see Iori suddenly turn around and shout.
"No, strategist, is there any other way?"
"I can't think of anything right now, Kohei, do you have any good ideas?"
"Heh." Kohei chuckled lightly. As a veteran romance expert who had played hundreds of visual novels, he was completely at ease with this situation and simply uttered two words: "Shy."
Yes! A girl's unique charm isn't just her smile, but also her shyness! When things get interesting, an unintentional shy expression is incredibly attractive. And if you add that tsundere "How could I possibly be shy? You just misunderstood!" and the constant sneaky glances at your expression while saying it, the impact is doubled!
"Supreme!" Kohei clenched his fist, his face filled with happiness.
"Shy? That seems harder to do."
Iori said reluctantly, "After all, you can still see her smile occasionally, but shy? Does Chisa have that expression?"
"Since this point has been raised, I naturally have a prepared plan." Kohei waved his hand, signaling everyone to come closer. After they had gathered in a circle, he began to explain his flawless method.
After hearing this, Hachiman stared at him speechlessly with eyes full of DHA: "Are you serious?"
"It might work," Iori said after considering it for a moment. "Let's give it a try."
Hachiman wanted to ask the same question again, but seeing everyone around him nod, he sensed that there was no way to change the situation and gave up the desire to complain.
I simply stood aside, waiting for their performance.
"Hachiman, you take the center position."
"What are you talking about?" His dead fish eyes widened slightly.
"Why did you suddenly switch to English?" Iori scratched his head. "You're usually so rigid, maybe this will have some unexpected effects."
"I refuse."
"Refusal is invalid."
Two senior figures stood behind him, placing their hands on his shoulders. The devil's whispers then reached his ears, sending chills down his spine.
"It's all for the bonus."
"Besides, it's just taking off clothes, something we do every day like breathing."
"I had no idea that going shirtless was as important as breathing..." Seeing two faces that looked like demons approaching, he finally gave in and said weakly, "At least I should wear something on my lower body."
"no problem!"
"On the outdoor stage"
After the scene where the three of them interrupted her, Chisa felt a mix of tension and relief, but also a sense of unease.
As she answered the host's questions, she stared at Hachiman and the others who were gathered in a circle. She lightly bit her red lips with her pearly white teeth. These guys were definitely up to some trick to prank her again.
Honestly, is it really that funny to see her make a fool of herself?
Especially that dead-eyed, stupid penguin, saying she'd definitely win—that's probably just a lie to get herself on stage. She just wants to avoid the male competition, huh! She won't let him have his way. She'll make him look bad when he performs on stage and laugh at him mercilessly!
First Chapter Previous Chapter 32/95The thought of having a chance to get revenge made her feel good, and even the sharp angles on her face softened a bit. This made those who were watching her from the sidelines sigh with admiration. Kohei was actually right about one thing: girls who don't like to smile really have a unique charm when they do smile, except for a certain girl named Hinata.
"Chisa!!!"
Oh no! I was so focused on how to get revenge that I got distracted!
As the world before Chisa's eyes gradually became clearer, she frowned slightly and looked toward the source of the sound. What had they done now?
"Just do it!"
Somewhere offstage, a group of naked men wearing only their underwear were posing. Each of them exuded an aura of anxiety. The three leading men waved a banner with a red cloth underneath, which read "[We love Chisa]".
Seeing this scene, she felt nothing, and even wanted to laugh a little, especially when she saw the person in the middle of the three who had been stripped of his shirt and pants and was covering his face with his hands. She couldn't help but twitch her lips.
Where did this inexplicably discordant and goofy feeling come from...?
"Under the outdoor stage"
Gazing at Chisa's unmoving facial expression, Juryujiro tilted his head towards Kohei: "Not ashamed at all."
"It's really strange. In a normal plot development, she should be too shy to look this way and say with a coquettish indignation, 'Why are you all acting like this?'" Kohei also felt it was a bit strange; this person didn't play by the rules.
"Is it possible that she's seen you naked so many times that she's become indifferent?"
Hachiman gritted his teeth and put down the banner. These guys were playing word games with him! He said he had to wear something on his lower body, but all he got was underwear!
"In that case, there's only one last method left." Kohei's eyes sharpened.
"What method?" Iori asked, connecting to the call bar.
"Today's clothing."
"Okay, so you want to lift my skirt?"
"Hmph, you don't even need to say a word."
"Besides communicating via brainwaves, you guys can even communicate telepathically!"
Hachiman was increasingly impressed by the two of them; he realized that one person could come up with all sorts of inexplicable things just to mess with another.
"But how do we do it? We can't just run up on stage and try to overturn it, can we? We'd probably get kicked down by Chisa before we even get close."
Iori was a little troubled. He knew that the other person had been practicing karate since childhood, and his current level was at least brown belt, if not black belt.
Kohei remained silent, only taking out the Lala Bomb Ball he had just won in the lottery from his pocket. He could accept this sacrifice in order to win the prize money.
"A bouncy ball? I see. So you're going to throw it at Chisa's feet? But she'll definitely suffer a terrible fate afterward."
Iori understood what he meant, but he was still a little hesitant. After all, if this were to be investigated, the person who threw the ball would definitely be executed.
Thinking this, he patted Hachiman on the shoulder with a solemn expression: "I may never see you in your whole form again, but don't worry, I will try my best to piece you together and help you fulfill your last wish."
"Why did you decide that I should be the one to throw it away? And why are you so sure that my last wish is to find my other bodies and bury them? If I were to meet with misfortune one day, my last wish would definitely be to drag you both into hell as well."
But he might go to heaven, after all, he was a truly virtuous man. Who else could do such a great act of kindness as getting hit by a car for a dog?
This kind of thankless and brainless thing was probably something only someone whose brain hadn't fully developed back then would have done. Thinking about it now, it was really not worth it at all. What if he hadn't gone to the other world after being hit by a car? Wouldn't that have been the end of the world?
If he could, he would like to travel to another world, shine brightly, and then return to the theater to live a peaceful life and become a legend.
"I see, so you're a proponent of cremation."
Iori looked at her palm and suddenly realized.
"I'm a fan of egg yolk pie! Besides, why can't we throw them all away? She can't possibly hold everyone accountable, can she?"
"Okay! Kohei, Hachiman has agreed to throw it away!"
"Um?"
The broken windows theory, right?
Clutching the bouncy ball that had been forcibly shoved into his hand, Hachiman's eyes were bloodshot. These brats, afraid that he would refuse again, had first used a plan that he would never agree to soften him up, so that he would definitely agree to the subsequent choices. When did they become so smart?
Oh well, whatever. Just toss them around. We can just use his bad aim as an excuse to throw all the balls away.
"Okay, three! two! one!"
Hachiman held the bouncy ball high and threw it towards the corner of the stage.
The ball was flying in mid-air, about to fall to the ground, when suddenly another ball flew by and collided with it. Under the pull of this collision, his ball flew to Chisa's feet and successfully landed and bounced up, lifting her skirt up.
"What?"
Hachiman turned around abruptly and saw Iori holding a bouncy ball, accusing him in a preemptive manner: "Your aim is terrible! How did you manage to hit my ball?!"
Seeing his indignant expression, Hachiman couldn't tell if he did it on purpose or if he just wanted to throw the ball around casually like him, which just happened to cause a misunderstanding.
"But the results are quite good."
Kohei pointed to Chisa on the stage, who was covering her skirt, with her legs slightly together and her cheeks flushed: "Continue."
If that's the case, then use less force.
Hachiman clenched his fist, adjusted the force, and threw the ball again. Two seconds later, Chisa's skirt was lifted up again, revealing her slender, fair legs.
"Damn, I was thinking that if I used too much force, I could fly right out!"
Seeing Iori trying to argue again, Hachiman refused to believe him this time and said bluntly, "You throw it first this time."
This is already very bad. Chisa's eyes are staring at him fiercely, as if she wants to kill him. If this continues, he will really be drowned in the Izu Sea.
"Okay, no problem!"
Iori took the ball out of her pocket and threw it straight to Chisa's feet. The audience cheered wildly. Someone's film had been used up, and after the new film was put on, it was like a machine gun firing, with a constant clicking sound.
"I didn't know you had such good ball control skills."
"Yes, thanks to the preparations I made on the ball."
Iori gave a thumbs up, revealing a bright smile and a set of white teeth.
Preparation? What preparation?
Hachiman turned to look at the stage and saw Chisa staring at him with tears in her eyes. She held a bouncy ball in her hand, and above the ball was the number "8" written in watercolor.
How could he not understand the current situation?
Hachiman felt as if he had fallen into an ice cellar; cold sweat instantly streamed down his forehead. He had been tricked after all!
...
Why don't you run?
Iori looked at Hachiman, who was sitting peacefully on the lawn, and asked.
"If the King of Hell wants me to die at dawn, why keep me alive until midnight? Since things have come to this, I might as well finish reading and call it a day."
Hachiman waved his hand, his mind racing as he calculated how to escape this calamity.
"Were the other two eaten by dogs?" Kohei asked.
"Yes, it was eaten by you two vicious dogs."
"Please welcome the next contestant. Please introduce your name and the name of your club."
"My name is Ochiai Sengen, and I come from the Occult Research Club…"
What?!!
Snapping out of his thoughts, Hachiman stared blankly at the girl on the stage, who was pursing her lips and looking uneasy.
Paranormal Research Club? How did she end up joining that club?
"What's wrong, Hachiman? Do you know her?"
"Yes, friend."
He had barely finished speaking when Iori and the other man grabbed him by the collar. Their faces were grim, and they all wore expressions of envy, jealousy, and hatred.
"How many beautiful girls do you have as friends?! Unbelievable!"
"You're the one who's all about being in a good place! Where's my salt?! Where's my salt?!"
"Calm down, it's not much."
There are only about seventy, eighty, ninety... or so, not a lot.
Everyone has that! It's impossible for someone to only have their mother around them when they get to college! It's perfectly normal!
While arguing, Hachiman suddenly sensed a strong gaze. He glanced over and saw the girl on the stage staring intently at him.
He blinked and gave her a thumbs-up, signaling her to keep it up.
"Kouhei, he's openly flirting with girls right in front of us! Was that a wink just now? It was a wink!"
"This man deserves to be killed, Iori."
The two men practiced their punches and kicks, letting out cackling laughter.
"In that case, let him sink into the Ganges."
"No, no, no, I think it's best to just throw it in the sewer by the roadside."
"...What outrageous criminal quotes are you two spouting?"
If this were written in an essay, it would definitely earn a friendly but firm punch from the Chinese language teacher.
Chapter 41: Activating Invincible Requires Sacrifice as a Prerequisite
Life is full of choices, and without exception, they are all difficult to let go of. Being strong is a kind of courage, while retreating is not only not a kind of rationality.
Hiding in the bushes, Hachiman listened intently as the clattering sound of the metal baseball bat scraping the ground faded into the distance. He breathed a sigh of relief and glanced at the two people beside him, who were trying not to laugh, feeling rather speechless.
What kind of expressions are those on your faces?!
"Oh, it's nothing. I just didn't expect you to be so nonchalant just now, but now you're cowering here. It's kind of funny."
The two of them talked while bursting into barely suppressed laughter.
"Let me make one thing clear beforehand: I'm not being cowardly; I just have a lot of respect for women."
Just kidding. Even though I know Chisa couldn't actually hit him in the head with a baseball bat, I just want to ask anyone, when you see someone carrying a controlled weapon walking towards you with a grumpy look on their face, do you run away or not?
Humans know how to avoid danger and seek good fortune in order to survive! This is the experience he learned through blood and tears during his troublesome three years of high school!
"Yes, yes, we understand."
The two of them, with expressions that said, "I'll believe whatever you say, whether you really believe it or not is none of your business," spoke in unison.
As Hachiman watched the two of them, he felt an irresistible urge to punch them. Although he was a complete weakling, after several days of consistent morning runs, he felt that he was a bit stronger than before.
For example, he can now clearly hear rustling sounds coming from his ears, especially from behind Gengping.
Why are you backing away?
While chatting with Iori, Kohei noticed that Hachiman had moved back a little, which was a bit strange. If he moved back even a little further, the grass wouldn't be able to cover him anymore, and he would be easily discovered.
Just then, the rustling sound became more and more obvious, and even the relatively slow-witted Kohei noticed it. He turned around and looked at the source of the sound, only to see a pair of arms suddenly reaching out from the bushes and grabbing his shoulders.
"Holy crap! What is that?! A bush spirit?!"
Kohei suddenly broke free and jumped back a few steps with Iori, staring at the gap in the bushes. A moment later, a very familiar face appeared in front of the three of them.
The foundation on her face was so thick it could block a mosquito's mouthparts, and the garish blush was enough to make one frown. Add to that a pair of garish Barbie pink lips, and from any angle, this was an unconventional look.
This person looks like a tennis player participating in a women's beauty pageant. Hachiman breathed a sigh of relief; at least it wasn't Chisa.
"Go ahead and date me, you little rascal."
"ha?"
Just as he was feeling relieved, Kohei encountered a considerable problem. He stared at the corpse-like monster in front of him, dumbfounded. What was going on? Had he been confessed to?
Is there a problem?
"This is very suspicious! Who are you? We don't even know each other's names."
"Yoshihara Aina, a first-year student at Qinghai Women's University, is that alright?"
"Where is it okay now...?"
What's with this strange atmosphere? Hachiman and Iori exchanged a glance, smiled, and got up to leave.
Congratulations, Kohei! I wish you eternal happiness.
To express the brotherly bond, Iori spoke sincerely to Kohei.