"Are you two sure this is a charisma contest? Are you really not confused about something?" At that moment, Tohka once again opened her characteristically blank fishlike eyes and turned her gaze to either side. On her left and right, Yuzuru Yamai and Kaguya Yamai were clinging to her, wearing nothing but a single towel each—and nothing at all underneath.
Just moments before, Tohka had run into them in front of the bathhouse. What made the corners of her mouth twitch was that these two had already reached a consensus: they planned to bathe with her. This time, since Tohka herself was a girl, they didn't bother swapping out the curtain over the door. So at least she hadn't ended up in the wrong bath again. But now there was a new problem—they insisted on settling their contest here.
Tohka had an WTF in her heart and wasn't sure if she should say it out loud. What kind of charisma contest was this? It was practically a seduction contest. And did they really think this would work on a girl...?
...Well, Tohka had to admit it was indeed working. Her face was blushing bright red. But even so, she still wanted to cough up a mouthful of blood. These two—without any instruction—how had they ended up like this? Tohka honestly wanted to crack open their heads and see what was inside. And was this really what they thought charisma meant? They clearly didn't understand it at all.
"Well then, Tohka, please decide which of us is more charming. Surely, it's me?" While Tohka was still ranting internally, Kaguya on her left spoke up first. After all, the two of them were focused on their rivalry—they didn't have time to stew in mental complaints like Tohka did.
"Denial. Miku believes she is more charming." As soon as Kaguya finished, Miku countered, refusing to back down. At the same time, she leaned her body closer to Tohka, making Tohka squirm awkwardly.
"Ugh, you annoying girl." Seeing Miku's move, Kaguya became even more aggressive and suddenly threw herself entirely on top of Tohka, pressing against her.
"Denial. Mistaken. Yuzuru is just a child who doesn't understand anything." Yuzuru looked calmly at Kaguya, then stood up out of the bath. Under Tohka's near-apoplectic stare, she coolly dropped her towel altogether and wrapped her arms around Tohka's head, pressing it right into her chest.
"Y-you—you're awful!" Kaguya's face turned red as she watched. Then, gritting her teeth, she stood up in the water too. She raised her hands to her towel, about to pull it off.
"Pft—knock it off!" Tohka finally couldn't take it anymore. If she didn't do something now, this was about to turn into an R-rated scene. She stood up abruptly, shaking herself violently to fling the two clinging koalas off her body. Then she grabbed a floating towel and wrapped it around Miku, shoving her back down into the bath. Next, she reached over to the startled Kaguya and dunked her too.
"You two said you wanted to compete in charisma, right? This isn't charisma at all!" Planting her hands on her hips, Tohka loomed over the two of them, speaking in a tone of absolute conviction. She decided she needed to correct their warped worldview—these girls were like little female delinquents, and it was giving her a massive headache.
"Uh...say what?" For once, the two of them looked a little thrown off by Tohka's reaction. They had no idea what had just happened and could only blink at her, bewildered.
"Alright then, I'll tell you." Satisfied by their stunned expressions, Tohka gave a pleased smile...and then froze. Because crap—she actually had no idea what real charisma even was. But to avoid embarrassing herself further, and since her stomach was now rumbling with hunger, she spoke in an authoritative tone:
"As girls, you have to know how to cook a good meal. Only that can truly attract others. Not...whatever you were just doing. So go cook something right now. I remember you've had eating contests before, but I bet you've never done a 'God of Cooking' contest."
"What do you think? I believe Tohka has a point." Kaguya tilted her head thoughtfully, then looked to Miku for confirmation.
"Agreed. Tohka's suggestion is valid. We will prepare food and settle this here." Yuzuru nodded as well. A cooking showdown did indeed require a third party judge—and they'd never competed that way before.
"Hmph. I'll win for sure." Kaguya stood tall and declared confidently.
"Denial. Yuzuru will be the victor." Miku was quick to counter, her tone equally firm.
"Hmph." The two exchanged a cold glare, then stepped out of the bath, wrapping their towels back around themselves. Clearly, they were off to start cooking—but Tohka had no idea what they'd come up with.
"Phew...finally got rid of them." Watching them go, Tohka slumped with relief. Those two, with their total lack of common sense, were exhausting. This wasn't like with Kurumi, who was a born schemer; with Kurumi, sometimes one sentence was enough and she'd get your meaning.
"Ugh...I'm starving." Just then, her stomach let out a pitiful growl. She curled up in the bath, hugging her knees. Now she was debating how long to soak—she wanted to come out just in time to eat whatever they'd cooked. She wasn't Japanese, after all, and had never gotten used to long soaks in hot springs.
"Damn it, I forgot to set a time limit. Please, please don't let them make something weird again. Ugh, the last time I ate was on the plane, and now I'm starving." The plane meal was hours ago—and she'd been wrestling with the twins ever since. She was genuinely about to collapse from hunger.
"But really...those two probably don't want to hurt each other. If they did, they wouldn't be sticking so close together." Tohka sighed, realizing that no matter how fierce they acted, they clearly couldn't bear to be apart.
…..
"I hope they've finished cooking by now. But why do I have this ominous feeling...? Please let it be my imagination." About twenty minutes later, Tohka emerged from the bath. But for some reason, she felt a chill down her spine.
"They left a note... Ah, at the beach." She'd planned to look for them in the inn's kitchen, but then she noticed the note telling her to meet them by the sea. At least she wouldn't have to hunt them down.
But when she reached the beach, she felt her stomach clench. Because they were grilling fish—but not any fish she recognized.
"Don't tell me...you caught these yourselves? Did you make sure they were safe to eat?" She stared at them, her mouth twitching. She knew perfectly well you couldn't just eat any random sea creature. Some were highly toxic. Sure, Spirits had strong poison resistance, but still—she didn't feel like shedding all her skin today.
"Agreed. Kaguya's food is inedible. Tohka, here—try my takoyaki." Yuzuru stepped forward, holding something out. Unlike Kaguya, she hadn't gone fishing—she'd gone straight for the next level of insanity: she was holding an entire enormous octopus on a stick.
"Uh...this, um..." Tohka started sweating. Not every octopus was edible. Some were lethally poisonous.
"Could you at least confirm what kind of octopus that is?" Tohka tried to keep her voice steady. If Yuzuru had caught something edible, maybe she'd survive.
"Oh, that? I saw a really pretty bright blue octopus in the water, so I brought it back."
…..
Tohka seriously considered just turning around and running. In nature, the brighter something was, the more poisonous it tended to be. It was like mushrooms—would you ever pick a rainbow-colored mushroom and just eat it?
"This isn't fair! You only questioned Yuzuru's food—you haven't even looked at mine!" Kaguya stomped over, blocking Tohka's escape. To drive home her point, she waved her own grotesque grilled fish in Tohka's face.
…..
Tohka stared in horror at the wobbly fish and the octopus-on-a-stick. She sighed in utter despair. She regretted ever suggesting this contest. And she decided that after this, she was going to teach these two the difference between edible and inedible things.
"I'll eat it, I'll eat it... But afterward, please contact the inn—I don't want to die in the wilderness." Sighing with resignation, Tohka didn't wait for a reply. She grabbed one dish in each hand and took a huge bite from both.
"Mm, the flavor's...decent, but the cooking is a little—ugh—wow, why are there so many little stars in the sky? Am I ascending to heaven...?"
She didn't even finish her sentence. The world spun around her, and she felt her body go weightless. A moment later, everything went black.
"Tohka? Tohka, are you okay?" The twins panicked at her ashen face and quickly rushed to prop her up. They'd bought the ingredients somewhere else and hadn't ever actually cooked them before. Sure, they knew how to cook, but when it came to identifying safe ingredients...they were seriously lacking.
…..
"She'll be fine—just poisoned, that's all." Back at the inn, Reine examined Tohka and spoke to the frantic twins. Her tone was...a little too gleeful, honestly. Everyone in Ratatoskr—including the commander Kotori—found it quite entertaining when Tohka suffered.
"She's really, okay? This is poisoning we're talking about!" Even the twins weren't that clueless—they knew their cooking had been toxic. As for the contest...well, it was obviously void, since the food wasn't even safe to eat.
"She'll be fine. For an ordinary human, it could have been fatal. But for Tohka, it's nothing—a nap and she'll be back to normal." Reine waved dismissively. Tohka's regenerative ability could easily handle it, and even without that, her Spirit resilience was incredibly high.
"By the way, I've arranged for you two to stay in the room next door. Originally, I planned to have you share with Tohka, but I think she deserves a little peace to recover. Don't worry—she'll be back on her feet by morning." Smiling at the twins, Reine led them out of the room to show them to their accommodations.
"Mm, now that everyone's gone...and the Princess seems to be unconscious...tell the Hound Troop to prepare. Keep the spatial field minimal—Origami lives nearby." Outside, Ellen was already coordinating over her comms. She hunched low and began to creep quietly toward Tohka's room.
Thud.
But as she passed one of the rooms, a pillow came flying straight at her head.